1000 Ways to Die is an American docufictionanthologytelevision series that aired on Spike from May 14, 2008, to July 15, 2012, and also aired on Comedy Central during its run.[2] The program recreates unusual supposed deaths, true events, and debunked urban legends,[3] and includes interviews with experts who describe the science behind each death. Up until the end of season one, the final story of each episode showed actual footage of dangerous situations that almost ended in death, along with interviews of those involved in the situations. A portion of these deaths have been nominated for or have received a Darwin Award. Ron Perlman served as the narrator on every episode since the third episode (with Thom Beers narrating the first two episodes); beginning with the episode "Tweets From the Dead", Joe Irwin was featured as the replacement narrator.[4]
Spike burned off the final four episodes, ending the series with the airing of "Death, The Final Frontier". 1000 Ways to Die was cancelled after the producers and stars of the show ran a strike against the network.[5]
Opening sequence
U.S. version of Warning
WARNING: The stories portrayed in this show are based on real deaths and are extremely graphic; names have been changed to protect the identities of the deceased. "Do not attempt to try ANY of the actions depicted...YOU WILL DIE!"
UK version of Warning
WARNING: The deaths portrayed in this show are based on real events; names have been changed to protect the identities of the deceased. Some of the dead were unlucky; many were bored; most were incredibly stupid. "Do not attempt to try ANY of the actions depicted...YOU WILL DIE!"[6]
First version (only used in the first two episodes)
"The human body is remarkably resilient; everyday we fight a new war against germs, toxins, injury, illness, catastrophe and calamity. The fact that we survive it all is a miracle; because everyday we live...we face 1000 Ways to Die."
Second version
"Death is everywhere...most of us try to avoid it, others can't get out of its way. Everyday we fight a new war against germs, toxins, injury, illness, and catastrophe. There's a lot of ways to end up dead, the fact that we survive it all is a miracle; because everyday we live...we face 1000 Ways to Die."
Stylization
1000 Ways to Die takes a tongue-in-cheek dark humor approach to death through its presentation of stories derived from both myths and science, and the show makes liberal use of artistic license to significantly embellish or change the circumstances of real-life incidents that resulted in death for greater entertainment value. Not only are the names changed, but also substantial amounts of the locations, dates and context. Four notable exceptions are the accurate descriptions of the deaths of Harry Houdini, Jack Daniel, Mary Mallon, and Sigurd Eysteinsson, although the latter's death was depicted as having occurred in Norway but in actuality it occurred in Scotland.
A frequently recurring motif is that of unsympathetic or unintelligent individuals' choices backfiring on them, resulting in death.
Some of the deaths resemble real life events they are based on, for example death No. 197 – "Dead Eye" was based on the real life death of Jon Desborough.
Some take enormous poetic license with the truth. For example, death No. 692 – "Gone Fission", a story of two hapless Yemeni terrorists in 2009, implausibly attempting to build an atomic bomb, was based on the real Demon Core accident involving U.S. scientist Harry Daghlian in 1945.
Some of the stories include elements of truth, for example No. 396 – "Onesie & Donesie," where an accident-prone TV shopping network host is injured by a collapsing ladder, stabbed by the tip of a broken katana, then finally burned to death when a onesie he is wearing catches fire. The ladder collapse happened to Harold McCoo on the Cable Value Network in 1988, although he was unhurt. The katana incident happened to Shawn Leflar on The Knife Collector's Show on the Shop at Home Network in 2001. However, the third part of the story is made up.
The show is filled with black humor (particularly in the narration) which tempers the otherwise somber theme of death. It portrays the deaths using live-action recreations of the events along with expert and sometimes witness testimony, also using graphic computer-generated imagery animations, similar to those used in the popular TV show CSI, to illustrate the ways people have died, similar to the "X-Ray moves" of the 2011 reboot of Mortal Kombat and Mortal Kombat X, due to them showing bones being fractured and organs being damaged. A narration provides background information within each death-story, which all end with titles that are puns on popular figures of speech.
A dim-witted meat packer gets his boss' granddaughter pregnant and then meets his fate in a mysteriously locked freezer. Three buddies find out - the hard way - you're not supposed to scuba dive and fly the same day. Man in homemade merman suit tries to swim with the fishes and winds up sleeping with them instead.
A lawyer who winds up taking a fall, a wood chipper gets a manly appetite, two crazy co-eds who thinks life's a gas, a Texan's hot wife gives him the hives, the sword swallower bites off more than he can chew, and a sexaholic goes organic.
A smoker gets flamed, a beautiful dreamer who can't wake up, an inmate gets caught in a broken wire, freaks in animal suits do wild things, a pool-shot that cannot swallow, and peeping perverts, the ultimate night shack.
A junkie who loved injury, a man who loves women instead of toilets, a man who knew guns were dangerous, a man gets the alcohol down his liver, a man who loves javelin gets poked, and a man gets rubbered out.
Ways to Die: "Wel-dead" (#504), "Trailer Trashed" (#230), "Nite Capped" (#171), "Sh*t Faced" (#385), "Dead Eye" (#197), "Domin-a-Dead" (#319), "My Will be done-immediately!" (#93)
Way to Live: Tourist Hugh Alexander (#5)
6
6
"Death Gets Busy"
February 22, 2009 (2009-02-22)
A man with anger issues falls into a vat of hydrochloric acid after attacking his former boss, a supermodel with bulimia dies after an eating binge, and a pornography addict impales himself after overfilling a tire until it explodes.
A farmhand gets into trouble with the farmer's daughter; raw snails; a magician bites the bullet.
Ways to Die: "Dung For" (#314), "Brain Worms" (#622), "Abracadaver" (#401), "Weed Whacked" (#429), "Rebel Without A Pulse" (#221), "Kill Basa" (#510), "Wanted Instead" (#364)
Way to Live: Drag Boat Racer Sunny Moon (#7)
8
8
"The Good, The Bad, and the Dead"
March 8, 2009 (2009-03-08)
A paranoid survivalist has a run in with a snake; a shoplifter jumps in a dumpster and winds up getting trashed; a cute girl catches a big one – down her throat; and a fish tale that's hard to swallow.
Way to Live: Aviation Boatswain Mate J.D. Bridges (#8)
9
9
"Death Be Not Stupid"
March 15, 2009 (2009-03-15)
A narcoleptic falls asleep on the job; a biker drinks gasoline; and a couple die after making love.
Ways to Die: "Gas-Hole" (#502), "Ichiboned" (#1), "Jake N' Baked" (#518), "Die It" (#734), "Pained Gun" (#499), "Deadliest Catch" (#283), "Great Hanged" (#434)
Way to Live: Plane Crash Survivors including Franklin Huddle and his wife (#9)
10
10
"Cure for the Common Death, Part I"
March 22, 2009 (2009-03-22)
A group of rednecks get into fatal trouble while celebrating the 4th of July, and a pair of heavy metal enthusiasts discover the hidden dangers of head banging.
Ways to Die: "Red, White and Blew" (#77), "Bank Ruptured" (#756), "Guitar Zeros" (#66), "Radium Girls" (#196), "Oz Holed" (#638), "Tanked Girl" (#710), "Law and OrDead" (#909)
Way to Live: Skydiver Chris Colwell (#10)
11
11
"Death: A User's Manual"
March 29, 2009 (2009-03-29)
An overeater goes belly up; a bodybuilder juices and loses; a young couple text themselves – to death; a golfer has a 'rough' round; a car thief gets left hanging; and a drunk clown pops his own balloon.
Chubby chaser lands a big one, frat boy suffers frat burn, a fiddler hits a bad note, an ex-con gets exterminated, a French maid dusts off the boss, mobsters lose face and a limp lover goes down hard.
A hot nurse strips down, two trippers get needled, a biker chick goes down, a hold up gets messed up, a hockey fight gets bloody and a raccoon lover is smitten and bitten.
Ways to Die: "M-R-Ouch!" (#485), "Succu Offed" (#229), "Coming & Going" (#432), "Coffin Nailed" (#150), "Greased Is The Word" (#89), "Blades of Gory" (#110), "Boris Bititoff" (#611), "Laced Up" (#162)
16
4
"Putting a Happy Face on Death"
December 30, 2009 (2009-12-30)
A thief hides in a car wash with deadly consequences, and a man caught cheating at a cock fight is killed by his own rooster.
Ways to Die: "Rub-A-Dubbed Out" (#712), "Cock-A-Doodle-Die" (#616), "Chucked Up" (#534), "Little Person, Big Death" (#332), "Booby-Zapped" (#254), "ReToaded" (#234), "Vegged Out" (#114), "Die Laughing" (#195)
17
5
"Bringing in the Dead"
January 6, 2010 (2010-01-06)
A rapist makes a fatal error when he attacks a cross-dressing boxer, and the unexpected dangers of hula and belly dancing are explained.
Ways to Die: "D. U. Die" (#528), "Belly'd Up" (#146), "Suck Her Punched" (#217), "Jack 'n Croaked" (#177), "Dead Heat" (#657), "Poi Vey" (#96), "ReTired" (#412), "Cleane-Dead Solution" (#308)
18
6
"Gratefully Dead"
January 13, 2010 (2010-01-13)
An anal compulsive turns repulsive; a purse snatcher takes a fall; a weightlifter loses his grip; a young goth gets exorcised; a smoker gets smoked; two dopes do themselves (in); a cow lover gets milked.
Ways to Die: "Mercury in Uranus" (#599), "A Turn For The Purse" (#297), "Dead Weight" (#102), "Cult Evaded" (#310), "Smoke-A-Doped" (#463), "Two Stoopid" (#655), "Cream-ated" (#204), "Rolled Death" (#313)
19
7
"Come On, Get Deathy"
January 20, 2010 (2010-01-20)
A little person swallows a harp; a cute bliss seeker gets tanked; a mean hubby goes over the edge; a guitar player gets unplugged; a gold digger digs her own grave; a dumb thief breaks his numbskull; a spurned lover gets trashed.
Ways to Die: "Tanks for Nothing" (#113), "The Chokes On You" (#322), "Back Broke Mountain" (#111), "Grateful Bed" (#120), "Fore Head" (#479), "Booty Trapped" (#333), "S**t Canned" (#412), "Last Blast" (#983)
20
8
"Death Watch"
January 27, 2010 (2010-01-27)
A group of hot cheerleaders get buzzed; a B-52 goes down in flames; a speed freak blows his mind; a cat hater gets his head handed to him; a health nut gets ratted out; a golfing couple has some bad fore play.
Ways to Die: "Washed and Fried" (#238), "Bad Hair Day" (#300), "Micro-Whacked" (#539), "Pussy Whipped" (#88), "Blend-Dead" (#457), "Shanks for the Memories" (#116), "Snake du Jour" (#142), "Dumb Skull" (#292)
21
9
"Waking Up Dead"
February 3, 2010 (2010-02-03)
A nagging housewife blows her own fuse; a construction worker takes a deadly bathroom break; a stowaway gets his ass-sets frozen; a cheating gambler gets squeezed and an acupuncture patient misses the point.
Ways to Die: "Phone Boned" (#662), "Toilet Rolled" (#521), "Mile Die Club" (#559), "Bitch Zapped" (#140), "Texas Fold 'Em" (#311), "Written Offed" (#168), "Ball 'n Pain" (#817), "Last Beer-Dead" (#442)
22
10
"You're Dead! LOL!"
February 10, 2010 (2010-02-10)
A moron gets smoked by cigarettes; a remote glider crashes into the owner; a reject boyfriend gets rejected; a dog walker gets hounded to death; a biker causes a riot and the Samurai Death Squad loses a member.
Ways to Die: "Samurai Death Squad" (#198), "Shafted" (#856), "Smoked" (#343), "Just Plane Dead" (#413), "Exhaustdead" (#108), "Ruffed Up" (#227), "Lady & The Trampled" (#115), "Stone Hard" (#586)
23
11
"Dead to Rights"
February 17, 2010 (2010-02-17)
A man with anger management issues is killed three different ways simultaneously, and death results when a teenage purse snatcher targets an elderly tae kwon do master.
A peeper takes a bath, a pool hopper goes belly-up, the three soldiers get blown up, a gigolo goes gums up, a bachelorette takes a mouthful, a monk takes on a donkey, and a boy band hits rock bottom.
Ways to Die: "Blood Bath & Beyond" (#354), "Easy Slider" (#418), "Mine Over Splatter" (#337), "Gum's The Word" (#261), "Bird Brained" (#378), "Inquisi-Torn" (#919), "Boys 2 Dead" (#87)
26
2
"Putting A Smiley Face On Death"
September 14, 2010 (2010-09-14)
A crude boss takes a leak and bleeds out, a proctologist gets rear-ended, a liposuction between two friends goes wrong, a waiter makes a fatal mistake, a viking who crosses the line gets his back split open, a hippie who tries to save a raccoon gets road killed, and a woman who grabs attention of everyone during a thunderstorm, but bolts too quickly.
A meth maker loses face; a nudist has a killer diet; sorority girl swallows too much; survivalist gets the hook; spider makes a stud go thud; half-naked football fan gets freeze framed; two thrill-seekers lose their heads over piercings.
Ways to Die: "Jaw Boned" (#444), "Hair Today, Dead Tomorrow" (#412), "Mudder Sucked" (#620), "Offed The Hook" (#223), "Erecto-phobia" (#672), "Fansicle" (#299), "Tongue Tied" (#517)
28
4
"Dead Wrongs"
September 28, 2010 (2010-09-28)
Two con men get blown away, a sushi chef becomes the butt of a joke and the deadly consequences of porn addiction.
A drug runner gets a heads up, a glutton goes belly up, a man-baby gets timed out, a nature hater gets turtle waxed, two stoners get bonged, a woman gets down and dirty and a man-hater gets feminated.
Ways to Die: "Golden Die-angle" (#507), "Clay Achin'" (#243), "Death of Sum Young Guy" (#159), "Crib Your Enthusiasm" (#239), "Turtle Waxed" (#929), "Potty Mouth" (#282), "Die-brator" (#342)
30
6
"The End is Weird"
October 19, 2010 (2010-10-19)
A robot maker meets his maker; an exhibitionish goes down in public; Houdini's last escape; a vomit lover gets chunked; prankster gets pranked; a B-baller finds nothing but death; a Hollywood star gets drained.
Ways to Die: "Bot-ily Harm" (#723), "Hertz So Good" (#121), Harry He-Done-y (#14), "Vom-ate-dead" (#323), "Die-drant" (#506), "Hang Dunked" (#284), "Bad Max" (#873)
31
7
"Hurry Up and Die"
October 26, 2010 (2010-10-26)
Organ donor loses a heart; someone gets swept away; trailer trashed; nymphos; wrestler hits the mat; mailman goes postal; rocker gets high.
A salesman sells out; a coke head gets nosed out; phony preacher sees the light; a peeper gets hammered; a skate boarder face plants; corporate trainer takes a fall; a dummy gets offed in the woods.
Death in the 70's; a mean girl gets a chubby bunny; a juicer gets juiced; a thief bites his tongue; a groupie falls for a snake; Typhoid Mary goes down; a biker craps out.
Ways to Die: "Lawn of the Dead" (#129), "Tongue Died" (#438), "Tube Snaked" (#119), "R.I.P.-PED" (#673), "Mary-nated" (#145), "Gooed Riddance" (#802), "De-throned" (#259)
35
11
"Cure for the Common Death, Part II"
December 15, 2010 (2010-12-15)
A low rider is crushed, a dummy is taken out by nunchucks, Big Foot gets the boot, a bikini girl swallows something, and a jockey gets tossed.
Japanese rocker dies onstage; prison inmate blows escape attempt; sexiled roommate gets revenge; vain dancer sucks it up; dumb terrorists melt down; moronic hard hat falls hard; tall guy gets squeezed out in Medieval England.
Ways to Die: "Coffin to Death" (#435), "Poker Face" (#194), "Bed Buggered" (#415), "Corset Killed Him" (#578), "Gone Fission" (#692), "Falling Down On The Job" (#63), "Ex-Squeezed" (#888)
37
13
"Dying to Tell the Story"
December 29, 2010 (2010-12-29)
A couple is antsy while on a safari, a braggart's new truck turns on him, a surfer is board to death, and a chess master meets his match.
Ways to Die: "African't" (#794), "Amish-tinguished" (#645), "Trucked Up" (#416), "Handi-Crapped" (#212), "Chess Pain" (#169), "Little Chop of Horrors" (#315), "'Dis Still Killed 'Em" (#452)
38
14
"If You're Dead – Leave a Message and We'll Get Back to You"
January 5, 2011 (2011-01-05)
A hat maker doesn't make it; tech-geek gets uninstalled; wannabe hip hop queen gets butted out; car jacker gets jacked off; a pretend gang banger gets body slammed; scam artist's plan gets crushed; agro dad gets blanked.
A crossdresser "wets" the bed; a gymnast makes a killer move; a greedy crematorium worker explodes; a man who drinks liquid cocaine gets a kick he never saw coming; a stewardess is way in over her head; a taxidermist gets squirrely; a pumpkin thief takes robbing to the heart.
Ways to Die: "Wet Dream" (#331), "Mary Lou Rectum" (#755), "Kung Pao Pow!!!" (#365), "Hot Shot Part D'uh" (#513), "Steward-death" (#701), "Squirreled Away" (#274), "Fatally Gourd" (#870)
40
2
"Getting A Rise From The Dead"
February 16, 2011 (2011-02-16)
A sign spinner spins out; a mob hit goes bad; cloud seeding gets rocky; recipe thief gets her goose cooked; a corporate spy hits the fan; tobacco chewer gets chewed out; mad scientist gets reanimated.
Ways to Die: "Sign Offed" (#298), "Chef Boy-R-Dead" (#512), "Par For The Corpse" (#209), "Dip 'N Die" (#206), "Dead Fella" (#178), "Double-O-Severed" (#555), "Snakenstein" (#441)
41
3
"Ready Or Not, Here Comes Death"
February 23, 2011 (2011-02-23)
A murderer busts out of the nut house; big boobies do in a stripper; mean caretaker gets pickled; free runner runs out of time; softballer busts a gut; two hunters get dogged; Japanese game show contestant gets deep sixed.
A hairdresser swallows too many 'leg spreaders'; Katrina looters get a shock; 1920's pipe-hitting homeboys; phony doctor gets touched by a leper; a mistress loses face; a cell phone user gets disconnected.
Ways to Die: "Curl Up And Die" (#786), "Who Ded?" (#281), "Crack Piped" (#151), "Thanks A Clot" (#753), "Odds Are You're Dead" (#594), "Chemi-killed" (#405), "i-Boned" (#327)
43
5
"Killing Them Softly"
March 9, 2011 (2011-03-09)
An email scammer gets deleted; a hot co-ed flunks out; a grave robber digs his own; a war lord snorts crystal death; a couple screw themselves to death in mid-air; two losers suck and blow up; an old Nazi meets an old bullet.
Ways to Die: "Scam Eye Am (Dead)" (#894), "Contact Die" (#270), "Six Feet Plunder" (#427), "Guns N' Noses" (#465), "Frequent Dier" (#95), "Suck & Blown" (#180), "Master E-Raced" (#744)
44
6
"Better Them Than Us"
March 16, 2011 (2011-03-16)
A billionaire bottoms out; it's hard out there for a Russian pimp; gang bangers play doctor; a pyromaniac gets burned; an ice cream man gets iced; a bad actor needs a hand; a Greek gets his brass handed to him.
Ways to Die: "Macdeath" (#615), "Cloudy With A Chance Of Pain" (#368), "Pop Goes The Cholo" (#895), "Flame Retard-ant" (#205), "Rocky Roadkill" (#245), "Straight To DVDead" (#404), "My Big Fat Greek Death" (#348)
45
7
"Dead Before They Know It"
March 23, 2011 (2011-03-23)
Death crashes a terrorist wedding; a big box falls on small heads; self-blood transfusion is never a good idea; a gangster spills his guts; a French killer loses his head; a very bad Santa gets iced.
Ways to Die: "SP-Effed" (#317), "Ji-Had It Coming" (#127), "Crate and Buried" (#264), "Lost in Transfusion" (#458), "Arriva-deadci" (#678), "Miss-ur Dead" (#402), "Eye-Sick-Kill" (#247)
46
8
"Stupid Is As Death Does"
March 29, 2011 (2011-03-29)
A deadbeat dad goes through the roof; a stump lover gets eyeballed; a drinking game turns deadly; a dummy goes from spying to dying; video gamer gets pwned; a mover stops moving; a poser artist explodes onto the scene.
Ways to Die: "Chairway To Heaven" (#219), "Eye Swallow" (#623), "The Depart-dead" (#255), "Spyanide" (#621), "Game Stopped" (#126), "Moving Violation" (#305), "Art Attack" (#193)
47
9
"That's "Mister Death" to You"
July 11, 2011 (2011-07-11)
A jersey chaser gets plugged; OCD stands for "of course (you're) dead"; a terrorist eats himself to death; an animal abuser gets dog boned; a massage parlor patron has an unhappy ending; a bank robber loses his head.
Ways to Die: "Any Given Gunday" (#275), "Descent of a Woman" (#592), "Scarf-face" (#646), "Dog Dead Afternoon" (#174), "Crappy Ending" (#213), "Chain Gang Banged" (#439), "Withdrawn" (#715)
48
10
"Death, the New Black"
July 18, 2011 (2011-07-18)
A disco king hits the floor; a sauna contest gets gaseous; an upskirting perv gets busted; a meathead blows himself (up); a pot farmer gets munchied; a football coach splits his uprights; a drunk heckler gets fleshed out.
An annoying guy gets cut down, a stalker gets smoked out, a football fanatic goes down in barfight, a drug addict gets crushed, and a tomb raider goes batty.
Ways to Die: "Half-Offed" (#745), "Smoke Stalked" (#459), "Sudden Death" (#619), "Raider of the Lost Narc" (#271), "Bats All Folks" (#324), "Pimp My Death" (#257), "Drone Boned" (#370)
50
12
"Today's Special: Death"
August 1, 2011 (2011-08-01)
A hot welder goes down on the job, an unfaithful wife can't cheat death, a '20s gangster gets steamed, and a mother-in-law from hell goes back.
Ways to Die: "Weld Done" (#406), "That's A Morte!" (#450), "Gang Banged" (#412), "Smother-In-Law" (#326), "DWI: Dying While Intoxicated" (#618), "Vertigo, Going, Gone" (#73), "Tea Bagged" (#440)
51
13
"Eat, Pray, Die"
August 8, 2011 (2011-08-08)
A medieval German gets stoned, a bachelor gets butted out, a con man guru flames out, a dog hater gets boned, a juvenile delinquent hates Farmville.
Ways to Die: "Ich Bin Ein Stoner" (#500), "Another Up The Butt Story" (#449), "Poly-Ass-Turd" (#189), "Shoots & Ladders" (#79), "E-I-E-I-Oww!" (#487), "Bush Defeated" (#769), "Skid Marked" (#419)
52
14
"Wait, Don't Tell Me – You're Dead"
August 15, 2011 (2011-08-15)
A neo-Nazi opens a can of whoop ass, an epileptic stripper goes lights out, a voyeur gets hoodwinked, a stalker gets shafted, and a prankster's prank backfires.
Ways to Die: "Fire In The Hole" (#804), "Somewhere Over The Railing" (#65), "Muffed Dive" (#329), "Treadkill" (#328), "Bush Whacked 2: South of the Border" (#86), "Leave it to Seizure" (#173), "Dia de Los Morons" (#318)
53
15
"Death – The Gift That Lasts Forever"
August 22, 2011 (2011-08-22)
Cheatin' hubby gets eaten by bear, old pervert sex-plodes, bride goes down at the altar, package thief gets anthrax surprise, insomniac commits a hit and run, bearded hipster drowns, drunk worker's pants explode.
Ways to Die: "Trip to the Maul" (#591), "Gory Holed" (#826), "Died-Zilla" (#468), "U.P.F'D" (#334), "I'll Sleep When I'm Dead" (#992), "Kitchen Sunk" (#325), "Blast Call" (#460)
54
16
"Death: One Size Fits All"
August 29, 2011 (2011-08-29)
A fake handicapped man gets what he deserves, a con man is frozen, a female wrestler goes down, a driving teacher loses control and a mine foreman explodes.
Ways to Die: "Handi-crapped" (#190), "Frost-dead" (#293), "Slippery When Dead" (#242), "Drivers Dead" (#163), "Slayer Cake" (#881), "Miner Injuries" (#240), "My Chemical Romance" (#785)
Season 5 (2011–12)
No. overall
No. in season
Title
Original air date
55
1
"Death By Request: Special" "The Deathies"
October 24, 2011 (2011-10-24)
1000 Ways to Die presents a new award show special "The Deathies", featuring selected deaths:
Sexiest Death: "Blood Bath & Beyond" (Runner-Up A), "Gum's The Word" (Runner-Up B), "Washed and Fried" (Winner)
Historical Death: "Vike-O-Done" (Runner-Up A), "My Big Fat Greek Death" (Runner-Up B), "Back Stabbed" (Winner)
Death During Sex: "Gasketballed" (Runner-Up A), "Orspasm" (Runner-Up B), "Ass Phyxiated" (Winner)
A dictator gets stuck, a security guard gets hosed, a rock climber falls, a cyclist runs out of breath and a circus clown meets an insane posse.
Ways to Die: "Bull-Heavia" (#642), Hose Whipped (#241), "Suffer-cated" (#820), "Rocked Out" (#307), "Chicken Boned" (#917), "Toe Jammed" (#508), "Down With The Clown" (#260)
57
3
"Grave Decisions" "The Halloween Episode"
October 31, 2011 (2011-10-31)
Politico has a sneezing fit, a gun toting old man blows up, a woman with road rage gets one in the gut, a shocking end for a convict, a dirty biker gets what they deserve, camper boils over with love for her friends.
Ways to Die: "Sneeze Bag" (#819), "As-Capped" (#273), "Cat Fight On A Hot Thin Hood" (#295), "Heart Beat Down" (#109), "Chain On You" (#244), "This Just In...My Chest" (#700), "Therm-assed" (#548)
58
4
"Dirt Nap"
November 7, 2011 (2011-11-07)
A bank robber sticks his neck out for a friend, a red head gets taken down, a bad-ass teen meets a mail box, a shiester shopper takes a dip, a fat man loses face, a crazy ex gets ex'd out and a farting contest turns fatal.
Ways to Die: "Harmored Car" (#350), "Bush Whacked 3: Waxed Off" (#915), "You've Got Dead Male" (#294), "Shop 'Till You Drown" (#634), "De-faced" (#290), "Ex'd Ex" (#630), "Colon-gross-opy" (#730)
59
5
"Death Takes A Vacation"
November 14, 2011 (2011-11-14)
A bouncer who got beamed, a Japanese rockstar causes suicide, a food vendor who gets deep fried, a chemical owner who tried to stop a leak, a drug smuggler gets a lethal tie dye, a mime who pickled up, a tennis girl who hit her target.
Ways to Die: "Velvet Dope" (#272), "Bull-shido" (#965), "Batter Upped" (#899), "Caught in a Lye" (#771), "Dead On Arrival" (#614), "Dead Mime ☺️" (#211), "Her Own Damn Fault!!!" (#556)
60
6
"Wild Wild Death"
November 21, 2011 (2011-11-21)
A guy tries to go viral by posting videos of girls shooting guns; a pretend superhero falls after trying to stop criminals; a bank robber tries to make off with cash, but gravely fails; an art thief holds an auction, and gets glassed; a supervisor tries to date an employee, but gets ground up; a sex blogger tries to give herself a hickey, and suffers a stroke when she stands; a paramedic gets high, then stops his heartbeat with a defibrillator.
A wedding singer gets choked up, a muscle woman meets her maker, a chef loses face and a French maid is stuck in an iron maiden.
Ways to Die: "Recep-shunned" (#496), "Dyin' Maiden" (#874), "Teri-yucky" (#358), "No Guts... All Gory" (#950), "She-Manned" (#24), "Apocalypse Harley" (#445)
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8
"Die-abestic"
February 1, 2012 (2012-02-01)
A lady puckers up one last time, a tow truck driver becomes a head banger, a waitress gets a bad tip, a food critic forgets the point, turkey gets hit with a turkey, neck massager takes a woman's breath away, a dancer loses heart.
Cat lady's love goes too fur, a burglar falls for his victim, a mob boss is given the finger, a nasty super model is given a dead eye, a customer is left breathless by great savings, a guy rolls over the point.
Ways to Die: "Cat Got Your Life" (#453), "Homie Invasion" / "Homie's Dead" (#182), "Kara-chokey" (#446), "Photo-dead-ick" (#152), "Paper or Spastic" (#330), "Hydrate-dead" (#529), "Nine Inch Nailed" (#232)
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10
"Death: Putting the "Fun" in "Funeral""
February 22, 2012 (2012-02-22)
Trainer and barbells meet; polygamist falls for his own trap; a couple wine and die; ticket scalper doesn't beat a light.
Ways to Die: "Spastic Surgery" (#711), "Rhymes with "Rich"" (#191), "Less Is Mormon" (#258), "Wine and Die" (#689), "Die-rect TV" (#420), "Dead Light Green Light" (#944), "Extinguished" (#346)
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11
"Sor-Dead Affair"
February 29, 2012 (2012-02-29)
A man sexes up a statue, a sleep walker goes swimming, a rioter gets the wind knocked out of him and a man dies with a happy ending.
Ways to Die: "Penis de Milo" (#911), "Bad Laps" (#143), "Pris-un-done" (#181), "Xmas-turbator" (#225), "Polly Want To Crack Your Spine?" (#571), "Dead Sleep (Walk)" (#393), "Premature Endings" (#1000)
66
12
"Locked and Low Dead"
February 29, 2012 (2012-02-29)
Socialite goes green, man with short fuse finally blows, woman high jumps to her death, crooked cop has the smell of decay, a wormy scam artist, trippy trip to the market, lame mad scientist gets burned.
A ferret goes up the eerie canal; a fat man squeezes into a baby swing; a female boxer goes down; a stoner gets launched; bad man takes an acid bath; a food fight turns deadly; tattoo artist swallows a chain.
Ways to Die: "Critter in the S****er" (#780), "Fat Man in a Little Swing" (#141), "TK Uh-O" (#128), "Out to Launch" (#216), "Vat's All Folks" (#613), "Tunnel Vision" (#99), "A Chainus Runs Through It" (#985)
68
2
"Think Globally, Die Locally"
March 19, 2012 (2012-03-19)
A Chinese rapper gets grilled; a mini-golfer maxes out; a super lotto winner goes super nuts; a yoga teacher is a real gas; hipster goes down in slo-mo; a hacker gets hacked; a warden can't lock it down.
An exterminator gets exterminated, a stockbroker got magnetic in the stomach, a wedding crasher crashes through the glass, a thief gets a meathook, a black marketeer got blown up, a hijacker exploded by a semi-truck, a ghost buster gets busted.
Ways to Die: "Pretty Fly for a Dead Guy" (#680), "Bucky Boned" (#397), "Wedding Crasher" (#595), "Meat Your Maker" (#372), "Well Chung" (#252), "Hi-Jack Offed" (#754), "Ghost Busted" (#134)
70
4
"A New App Called Death"
April 2, 2012 (2012-04-02)
A bicycle hater gets hit, milking a pig, a winded diva, a scavenger loses his head, a sexy way to break the copy machine and motel inspector stirs the dead.
Ways to Die: "Electro-cutie" (#349), "WW1 and Done" (#184), "F.U.v'd" (#248), "Pulled Pork" (#351), "The Day the Magic Died" (#336), "American Died'ol" (#897), "Mastur-bitten" (#250)
71
5
"Death Certificates"
July 15, 2012 (2012-07-15)
A fitness instructor gets bounced, a bird smuggler gets the flu, coke mules are branded, a husband and wife take a hit, a computer thief crashes and burns, a moonshiner gets poked and a director makes a scene.
Ways to Die: "Heim-licked" (#514), "This Bird Has Flu" (#265), "Keester Sunday" (#360), "Kill Bill & Billie" (#249), "I Spy A Dead Guy" (#519), "Eye So Horny" (#187), "North by Northwasted" (#411)
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6
"Crying Over Spilled Blood"
July 15, 2012 (2012-07-15)
A tennis brat gets the shaft, a sadistic bank loan officer, a dead-eye sniper, ghost chili, a deadly infomercial, a jail break goes wrong and a cave man discovers fire.
A strongman gets weak in the knees, a tease gets stoned, a filthy husband falls for a chain saw, a drunk wife crashes a sobriety party and a garage sale turns deadly.
