Tim and Eric start working on their new show, but Tim feels jealous after he receives a gift basket from his dad dedicated to Eric; Chippy appears in the opening credits of Ein Liebespaar (How to Make Love Without Touching); C-Boy (Tim) and Leif (Eric) face off in a Hacky Sack Extreme game; Dr. Steve Brule reports on fruits and vegetables as well as fire safety but he is not ready; Casey and his Brother perform Time Travel; Tim and Eric perform the Old Waiting Room Sketch at 3 a.m.; Cinco Toys advertises the B'owl, a doll resembling a cross between a bat and owl; Tim prank calls a pest control company.

Eric sends Tim an ornamental hot dog after finding out he is dying of "Limp Lip"; Cinco Balls Insurance will give you 300 Dollar everytime you hit your balls accidentally; Pierre sings Doo Dah Doo Doo: Dance Instruction Tape For Children; The celebration for Dr. Steve Brule's 10th year in broadcasting goes horribly wrong; Chippy presents the benefits of Whore's Milk; Tim and Eric pitch a jingle for Rolo.

Tim learns a magic trick that turns him into a cat but he can't turn back into a human; Gravy Robbers restaurant presents a new way to enjoy food and gravy; Channel 5 Kid Break presents I Sit Down When I Pee; Tairy Greene teaches potential Gravy Robbers employees the best gravy robbing techniques; Tim creates bad free portraits in the street; Channel 5 presents their brand new drama: Kitty Cat Man.

David Liebe Hart sings a song about extraterrestrial life called Salame; Tim and Eric hold a seminar on how to begin a successful career in writing sitcoms; Steve Mahanahan advertises his Child-Clown Outlet and his brother Mike advertises his Child Clown Shoes Outlet; After Tim misses work, Eric creates the episode and rebrands the show as Eric Wareheim's Awesome Show; Simon escorts a group of old ladies into a church in Here She Comes; Tim gets a haircut similar to Tom, his old character on Tom Goes to the Mayor; The Canadian Flag has multiple uses as decoration; Casey and His Brother perform Cops and Robbers. (Note: This episode is titled "Sitcom" on the Season 1 DVD, but is also known as "Salame").

Carol has a secret crush on her boss Mr. Henderson, but he acts in a mean way towards her; Tim and Eric perform Sports; Cinco Toys advertises the T'ird, a flying wheel resembling a cross between a bird and a turtle; Danny Mothers interviews Glen Tennis on his new film, Crystal Shyps on Channel 5's Lookin' At Film; Vernon the ventriloquist (Tim) performs a strange routine with his puppet Horsey (Eric); Eric pulls a spiderweb-themed prank on Tim.

Tragg shows his viewers how to make some of his famous slop on his cooking show Tragg's Trough; Tim and Eric show what success is; Tim and Eric’s replacements host the show; The Beaver Boys attempt to pick up some ladies at the beach, go clubbing and enjoy shrimp and white wine; David Liebe Hart sings a song about education called Stay in School with his new puppet; Channel 5 Kid Break presents I Wear My Dad's Dirty Socks; The entrepreneur Ken Tulley (Tim) advertises a workout program called Fitness Can Be E-Z.

Jan and Wayne Skylar cover No Sex Week and the No Sex Hot Dog Parade arranged by Channel 5; A Pizza Delivery boy sings about love in times of abstinence; Paul Willeaux, the spokesman for Lazy Horse Mattress and Bedding Supply, has nightmares; As a cost-savings measure Tim and Eric replace their entire staff with elderly men; Tim and Eric try beatboxing; Maria Bamford, host of The New You!, has mommy issues to solve; Eric tries to use the Cinco Personal Banking Center.

Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! celebrates its 50th anniversary hosted by Pat Dudley, but Tim and Eric haven't spoken to each other since an unfortunate stairway incident; Pierre teaches children how to meditate in a brand new instructional video; E-Z Kreme diarrhea inducer helps you to miss important events; Richard Dunn makes some improvisation exercises on Dunn-Prov; The Cinco MIDI Organizer Filing System helps you to organize your MIDI files by date, kind, size and name; Grum performs Crackers and Snacks.

Tim and Eric are forced to use Neil Hamburger Taxi to deliver their next episode to the network in time to air; Dr. Steve Brule's reports on diarrhea and milk expiration dates; The Uncle Muscle's Grand Championship has special performances by Casey and his Brother and Michael Q. Schmidt; Tim prank calls a music store about his "uke’"; Tim and Eric have a Dance-Off contest; Chippy hides in a skill crane.

Casey Tatum of Uncle Muscle's Hour goes missing and his brother desperately searches for him; Eric talks about his collection of rascals in Nights with Tim Heidecker; Dr. Steve Brule reports on modern fashion with Jan Skylar as his assistant, making Wayne jealous; Cinco advertises the B'ougar, a cross between a bear and a cougar (representing the scariest-looking and scariest-sounding animals in nature).

Eric returns from vacation with a video created by his new best friend, Raz, prompting Tim to do the same for one with his new best friend Tony; The cruel fate of Casey Tatum is revealed and Steve Mahanahan is the responsible, James Quall does a Michael Jackson impression, Bradley Michael Fahrtz advertises The Poop Tube, a new experience for the bathroom; Magician Gregory from Tom Goes to the Mayor hosts Trick My Trick; Uncle Muscles shares a classic Casey and His Brother performance in Casey's memory: Hamburgers and Hot-Dogs; Cinco advertises a VHS collection with The Best of James Quall.

Drama ensues when Eric has to compete for his children's respect, against the coolness of the Heidecker family; Channel 5 Kid Break presents I Think My Sister's Cute; The newest Cinco product, Thocks, combines the thong and the sock into one piece of clothing that will spice up your wardrobe; Spagett attempts to spook and surprise people on his hidden camera show; Chippy hides in a Thanksgiving dinner; David Liebe Hart sings about falling in love with one puppet.

Tim and Eric produce a line of dolls but there is something wrong with Tim's doll; The show See My Goatee turns beards and stubble into goatees; Steve Brule introduces you to his new technique of self-defense: Last Resort Fighting, Palmer Scott sings a song about sitting on you, Tiny Hats advertises their line of miniature hats for small men, babies, and dolls; The Beaver Boys are rushed to the emergency room when the level of shrimp in their systems becomes dangerously high; Tim and Eric get excited when their mother arrives.

Eric can't wait to attend Tim's birthday party, so he overdoses on a powerful drug called WaitMate that puts him in a coma; Cinco Toys advertises My New Pep-Pep, a new life-like grandfather doll; Song Legends Karaoke presents Come Over by Ruth Carr; James Quall performs Beach Blast; Ron Stark interviews himself in his brand new show Stark on Stark.

While Tim is taking nature photos he is attacked by Chippy's mother, but a mysterious man known as The Snuggler (performed by Tairy Greene) rescues him; Dr. Steve Brule gives a report on his favorite video game but forgets the title of it; Casey and his Brother perform Horsey and Buggy Ride on Uncle Muscles Classics; Video Match: A Dating Service presents a fax machine expert with petite feet; Tim and Eric sing about a man with petite feet and a femenine step.

Carol's boss taunts her with a sex tape; Dr. Steve Brule advises about smelly armpits; Cinco Sweets advertises their new edible toy product Candy Tails, including a tie-in cartoon; Glen Tennis sells Crystal Shyps merchandise on Channel 5's Shopping Indoors; David Liebe Hart performs a song about fatherhood called Father and Son; Eric pranks Tim waking him up with shaving cream.

Eric gives Tim his own Robin Williams as a gift, but it soon becomes uncontrollable and runs away right before their two man improv show; Dress to Impress 2.0 designs a man's weekend wear; The Cinco Library advertises their new Encyclopedia of Numbers; Richard Dunn hosts his own talk show Dunngeon with special guests Dave Navarro and Zwei Dunkel Jungen (Tim and Eric); Tim and Eric hold auditions for a fake film called Demons;

Tim and Eric promote the Innernette, a mini CD from Cinco with software simulating the internet; Channel 5 airs a promo for an encore presentation of The Jeff GoldBluMan Group; Casey and His Brother perform A Song for Mommy; A new method of making art using your house cat, called Pussy Doodles, is advertised, but behind the scenes the commercial falls apart; Dr. Steve Brule advises on making single life less awful; David Liebe Hart talks about computer ethics; Pierre hosts the Channel 5 Dance Party with some special guests like Palmer Scott, Ben Hur and Casey's Mom.

In the documentary Breadheads by T. Howard, two middle-aged mothers (Tim and Eric) are obsessed with a children's singer called Bread Harrity; The Mayor and Roy have a violent disagreement; Channel 5 Kid Break has a special Teen Edition with the song Never Gonna Wipe my Butt; K.J Nutt hosts the show Hobby Holes; Dr. Steve Brule advises about protein on ants; Video Match: A Dating Service presents a RPG gamer; Tim and Eric write and pitch a jingle for Tom Skerritt; The Shins perform their own version of the Channel 5 Kid Break.

Eric shares a naked baby picture of Tim with the audience. Angry and humiliated, Tim later confronts Eric in the parking lot, which leads to a violent confrontation and, ultimately, Tim's death; Cinco introduces its digital umpire, the D'ump; Tim and Eric perform a music bit about Pumpers and follow-up with a song, Tumblers are better than pumpers; Dr. Steve Brule reports from a vineyard and becomes extremely intoxicated in the process.

Tim resurrects from the grave and acquires the ability to generate porcelain tiger statues out of thin air, so he and Eric start a new business using this new power; A strange laughing man welcomes us to the third season; Dick Dousche advertises his brand new Penile Cleansing Rag; Dr. Steve Brule appears as a guest in an infomercial for the Griddleman panini press; A bongo player, a krump dancer and a screaming mime perform in Afternoon Review.

Channel 5 celebrates 100 years of Jackie Chan; Tim has an affair with Eric's wife; Cinco advertises a new board game called It's Not Jackie Chan; Tim and Eric discuss about their zits in a brand new Channel 5 talk show; Will Grello reveals his frustrations against his father on his show Quilting With Will; Steve Mahanahan presents a child clown training video.

Bob Odenkirk tries to fix Tim and Eric's relationship after Tim kills Eric's rascal; Little Joshua Beard sings about his favorite drink in Channel 5's Child Showcase; Two dancers (Tim and Eric) teach new jazz dance moves; Ed Begley Jr. introduces the Cinco-Phone, a revolutionary one-button one-call cellphone; Tairy Greene teaches about acting to children.

Spagett goes Hollywood with the help of Steven Spielberg in a very Indiana Jones-like film, but Eric feels jealous and hurt after not being considered to be in the movie; Dr. Steve Brule advises about Prom; Cinco Dairy advertises My Eggs, a powerful pill that helps you to incubate eggs in your own stomach; Video Match: A Dating Service presents a senior that doesn't have a bathroom in his house; With the help of a music video, a teacher talks about Biology for Foreign Men; Chippy hides in a farm.

The C.O.R.B.S. (Cops on Recumbent Bikes) attempt to stop a group of Colombian terrorists trying to take over a sugar factory, which ends in a terrible tragedy; Tim and Eric have fun with balloons; Grill Vogel teaches how to hug appropriately in a workplace, Rudy and Kent advertise the Cinco Eye Tanning System; Dr. Steve Brule tries to create a viral video; A family deals with divorce.

The show is hijacked by The Jim and Derrick Show, a parody of "garbage" shows on channels such as MTV.^[1]

Tim and Eric lead their jazz band through jazz chatter scats in a Channel 5 Jazz Session; James Quall makes an impression of Ronald Reagan; Maria Bamford has issues to address with his ex-boyfriend in her show Cleaning Up After Your Cat; Chippy befriends a Child Clown; The Beaver Boys go into a double date with twins; The movie Quall: The James Quall Story premieres a brand new trailer; Two businessmen try to get along at a dinner;

Channel 5 broadcasts a Muscles for Bones charity benefit event supporting Richard Dunn with special performances by David Liebe Hart, Dr. Steve Brule, Casey and his Brother and Jan and Wayne Skylar.

Mr. Henderson and Carol have a date, much to the chagrin of her colleague Larry; Tim and Eric discuss about their burps in a brand new Channel 5 talk show; Tairy Greene's acting class continues; Little Bobby Stoan sings about birds and bees in Channel 5's Child Showcase.

Tim and Eric binge on homemade brownies; Song Legends Karaoke presents I Can Wait by Lindsey Porch; Grill Vogel teaches more appropriate hugs; Richard Dunn hosts Shot Dunn; Cinco advertises the Cinco Facts Machine; Dr. Steve Brule advises on stomach doubling.

When a blizzard snows in Tim and Eric, they reminisce over hot chocolate, their first video together, e-mails and urine with David Liebe Hart and Richard Dunn; Diah Riha-Jones advertises the D-Pants, protective pants created to contain diarrhea; Tairy Greene's Acting Seminar for Children continues; Cinco advertises its sleeping aid, The Napple.

Eric has a third testicle implanted in his body for "more pizazz", but it eventually becomes a problem; Pick the Nipple; The Cinco Urinal Shower is introduced, but the commercial eventually goes out of control; Whoopsie Goldberg has a camera following her around to document embarrassing moments her life in the show Whoopisie Daisy; Frank Stallone sings a song for his daughter.

Tim and Eric visit Eric's parents in Florida; Channel 5 promotes its upcoming film Back to Squall, starring Jonah Hill, James Quall, and David Liebe Hart; Cinco Boy Synthetic Son; Brule's Rules on cavemen.

Tommy Wiseau is hired to film a sketch, The Pig Man; "The Things I Like"; Cinco introduces its Mancierge service.

Tim graduates from barber school; Song Legends Karaoke ("Live with My Dad"); Cinco C-Bund; J.J. Pepper's Videography; Josh Groban presents his Casey Tatum tribute album, Groban Sings Casey.

Tim and Eric play tennis; Glen Tennis is interviewed about his new film, The Pilgrums; Spaghett advertises Cinco Cigarette Juice.

Tim and Eric change the format of their show into one reminiscent of Saturday Night Live; Cinco Diarrheaphram; Morning Meditations; Channel 5 promotes James Quall and David Liebe Hart's new cop drama, Quall of Duty: San Diego Streets.

Eric reaches puberty before Tim, prompting him to try and find a way to induce it himself; Cinco i-Jammer and e-Bumper; Fortin' with Will; David Liebe Hart sings a song about puberty

After his remains are recovered, Casey Tatum is brought back to life; No. 1 Co-Worker; Patrick Duffy promotes Man Nip; Dr. Steve Brule considers whether kissing or buying a jetpack is more romantic.

Tim writes an autobiographical novel, Choices: The Problem with Eric Wareheim; Cinco H'amb; All Dolled Up.

Tim's eyes are pecked out by crows. Flamboyant pop group The Paynus Brothers start a spanking craze. Cinco advertises the Sleepwatching Chair.

Tim thinks that his Cinco Musky Tusk Necklace is a more effective luck charm than Eric's rabbit's foot; Cinco Bro-oche; Pierre uses "Dream Cream" to see his ideal dream.

Tim and Eric compete against each other to determine who is the "number one handsome man"; the Cinco Face-Time Party Snoozer is introduced.

An infomercial for the eponymous "Tairy Greene Machine", which features every work Tairy Greene has ever appeared in or is vaguely associated with, such as Little Dancing Man, and Little Danson Man (a film wherein Ted Danson is shrunk to only a few inches tall).

Half-hour series finale. After they begin to lactate, Tim and Eric decide to bottle and gift their "man milk" for the holidays; David Liebe Hart sings about STDs; Ben Stiller and Ben Hur form a comedy duo; Cinco Privacy Helmet; Sal and Al's Italian Massage; Be Provocative, Be Organized: A Two-Step Guide; Paul Rudd entertains himself with the Cinco Identity Generator 2.5; Richard Dunn, Hairvoyant