In Bakersfield, California, Royal Crackers Incorporated is a once-popular snack factory that sells the titular crackers that was established by it's current CEO Theodore Hornsby Sr. whose mind started to go enough to not stay conscious as he got older. At the house of the Hornsby family, Stebe Hornsby, his wife Deb Hornsby, his brother Theodore "Theo" Hornsby Jr., and his son Matt are having a dinner from Burger Boyz with their family lawyer Darby Blarchardt and Stebe and Theo's sleep-stated father Theodore. as Stebe, Deb, and Theo learn that Matt has been listening to Post Malone. At the board meeting at Royal Crackers Incorporated, Stebe tells Deb, Darby, and fellow members Al and Rachel about their company's sale numbers being down as he tries the first box of black licorice-flavored crackers have arrived which he tries only to get a nosebleed. Theo arrives where he does a Royal Crackers secret handshake with Darby that involves something that ends up pixelated and tells Rachel that TainT won't be doing a reunion performance due to two of it's members being dead from botched jack hangs. Deb mentions that Royal Crackers has hit a low that is following Uncle Dipshit's Fart Wafers and that they need to think of a way to boost their sales. Later that night in his room, Theo tells his father about becoming head of the viral-marketing campaign and leaves him to listen to his music. Theodore's hand controls his wheelchair to roll towards the stairs as it falls down. Stebe, Deb, and Theo come down to investigate and end up shaking Theodore. The next day at Silveria Hospital, the doctor tells the Hornsby family that Theodore is in a super coma (or "suco" for short). This causes Darby to fetch Theodore's last will and testament in case Theodore doesn't wake from his suco. Back at the house, Theo ropes Matt into helping with his viral marketing campaign where he promotes the Royal Cracker Challenge where he will eat an entire box of Royal Crackers in under 10 seconds as he challenges Dwayne Johnson, Joe Rogan, and Ninja to partake in this challenge. Meanwhile, Darby has gotten the Last Will and Testament where he doesn't listen to his conscious not to stop at Burger Boyz because it gives him diarrhea. The ordering of six Burger Boyz burgers causes him to drive into Blarchardt & Associates needing to use the bathroom. Due to having read all the magazines when needing something to read on the toilet, Darby had no choice but to read the Last Will and Testament in the bathroom. Later that night, Al and Rachel are informed about what happened to Theodore and that they need another plan should Theo fail with his viral marketing campaign. After Stebe recaps the history of Royal Crackers, he starts to pitch a Plan B. The next day, every media outlet in Bakersfield as heard about Theodore being in a suco. As Stebe and Deb wait for the TV ad, Theo comes in stating that he got 5,000,000 views on the Royal Crackers Challenge. The three of them see a breaking news bulletin from CVM where news anchor Clair Bailey talks about the choking epidemic that happened during the Royal Crackers Challenge as foreign objects were found in the boxes. Clair mentions that Dwayne Johnson, Joe Rogan, and Ninja are among the celebrity casualties with Ninja's death devastating Clair enough to put a gun to her head as a Please Stand By title card appears. Then the ad from Royal Crackers Incorporated is played as Stebe and Deb talk about having placed loose change in every cracker boxes causing Stebe, Deb, and Theo to know that they all screwed up as Theodore's life support system gives off a flatline sound. Darby comes in and asks if he can have some time alone with Theodore. Once they are gone, Darby informs Theodore about how the aftermath of him eating the Burger Boy burgers caused him to accidentally wipe his but with the will and flush it as he does remember some of the stuff on it that involves selling his assets and giving it to Matt. As Darby tearfully mentions that the board is going to have to elect Stebe or Theo to the position of CEO, Theodore's life support system beeps as Darby sees that Theodore has emerged from his suco. Outside Silveria Hospital, the Hornsby family and Darby announce that Theodore has emerged from his suco as Stebe apologizes on behalf of Royal Crackers Incorporated for the deaths of a lot of influencers across the globe. After Stebe mentions that Royal Crackers Incorporated will right the wrongs done in the last three days, Theo allows Stebe to do the Royal Crackers secret handshake causing the crowd to gasp at the pixelated part of it.

Guest stars: Stephanie Sheh as Rachel, Fred Tatasciore as Al, Debra Wilson as Clair Bailey

An advertisement is shown of Theo doing his solo performance across the central valley sponsored by Royal Crackers Incorporated. Deb rants about her doctor claiming that osteoporosis is giving her uneven legs and wanting to give her orthopedic shoes. She gets surprised to see Stebe in his bathrobe and briefs as he states that they now have some alone time while Theo is on his comeback tour and allowed him to borrow the car under the condition that he uses Matt as his roadie. Deb does mention that there is also a weekend marathon of Antique Appraisals. At Kenny's Lobster Shack, Theo tells Matt about landing a gig here thanks to Moey D who was TainT's former hype-man and manager of Kenny's Lobster Shack. When Theo states to Moey D that he should've come on the comeback tour with him, Moey D states that he couldn't because of his sciatica and that he's working overtime so that his daughter can get through med school. During Theo's performance, Moey D abruptly ends the act and brings out Bill Peachknee and his ventriloquist dummy Flappy who insults Theo's performance. Meanwhile, Stebe and Deb find a jar of Mom's Original Regular Strength CBD Gummies in their bed which they assume must be Theo's. On the road, Theo rants about being bumped in favor of Bill Peachknee as Theo accidentally runs over Peachknee. When Matt suggests that they call the police and tell them what happened, Theo states that he'll be suspect #1 and thrown into prison. The next day, Theo calls Darby about what happened. He tells Theo about a guy in Fresno that they haven't used in a while as he prepares to make contact with him. Meanwhile, Stebe and Deb find no reported cases of CBD gummy overdoses. At a Fresno Diner, Theo and Matt (who held on to Flappy) meet the Fixer as Theo wants him to dispose of Peachknee's body before his gig at Penny Lanes Bowling Alley. They start by adding the dry ice to the trunk and plan to get shovels to dig a grave. A montage is shown where the Fixer takes Theo and Matt to different candidates to build the body only for those spots to either have a Best Buy, an amusement park, and a football stadium built on those spots. After an news report about a super elderly man who escaped from the Hidden Pines Nursing Home who matches the description and traits of the Fixer including references to The Procter & Gamble Mystery Hour, Theo asks if the Fixer was a real Fixer as he claims that he has gotten old. If he can pull off one more job, he can make a comeback. Meanwhile, Stebe and Deb have done 3 of the CBD gummies instead of 2 and hijack a car in order to get to the hospital. Stebe's ranting about Theo causes him to drive off the road. After Theo throws off a police officer named Officer Troy, the Fixer tries to shoot him only to for the bullet not to work. Theo and Fixer are locked up at the police department as Theo blames the Fixer for making him miss his gig at Penny Lanes. The Fixer fakes a heart attack so that he and Theo can escape from their cell and hijack the tow truck carrying the car that Matt and Flappy are in. Meanwhile, Darby reprimands a recuperating Stebe and Deb about his cousin at the precinct calling him about Stebe and Deb in an overdose. He also mentioned how he had to bail them out and bail Theo out of what happened during his comeback tour while mentioning that nobody can be comfortable with who they are or where they're at. Theo, Matt, and the Fixer appear at a patch of quicksand as Theo apologizes to the Fixer about what he said. The Fixer does his closer by driving the tow truck into the quicksand as there's no other way. Matt is told by Theo that he has to give up Flappy as he is the final evidence of what happened to Peachknee as he speaks through Flappy that his performance was good. Then Matt puts Flappy in the tow truck as the Fixer drives it into the quicksand telling Theo to keep doing himself as they'll come around. Once that is done, Theo and Matt tearfully walk away.

Guest stars: Gilbert Gottfried as The Fixer, Jamar Malachi Neighbors as Moey D, Fred Tatasciore as Mr. Lynx, Officer Troy, and Police Officer, Debra Wilson as Antiques Appraisals Audio

A health inspector is going to be doing an inspection on the Royal Crackers factory. Deb, Theo, Darby, Al, and Rachel assume that it's their usual health inspector Reggie who they always take on a night in Bakersfield. When Stebe arrives, they meet Reggie's no-nonsense brother Brent who will be doing the health inspection....especially since one of his inspections will be occurring at Factory 37 where Reggie disappeared in. While Stebe leads Deb and Matt in going to the abandoned Factory 37 which produces chicken-flavored crackers with Deb restoring the power, the others work to take Brent on a night on the town to win him over. As Stebe gets on a ride there where he gets a tour from an animatrionic version of Theodore Hornsby Sr., Deb finds that the workers there are dead as Matt finds footage of the lead developer mentioning about using a pink goo on the chickens which went horribly wrong. Meanwhile, the others eventually learn that Brent does like one of Taint's songs after caving during karaoke and that he became a health inspector to improve himself to Reggie. Upon Stebe meeting up with Deb and Matt, they learned what happened as they are attacked by mutated chickens and brought to their sentient leader known as the Chicken Master who plans to mutate them with the same pink goo that Theodore Hornsby Sr.'s scientists created. In the nick of time, Stebe, Darby, Al, and Rachel arrive and a big fight occurs. Brent arrives and reveals that Chicken Master is a mutated Reggie which explains why Reggie disappeared. As Brent plans to join his brother, Chicken Master agrees with Stebe to continue producing chicken-flavored crackers. The Hornsbys, Darby, Al, and Rachel then take their leave from Factory 37.

As the Hornsbys celebrate Theodore Hornsby Sr.'s birthday party despite some setbacks, Theodore Hornsby Sr. flashes back to the day when he and his former partner Luther Dennison had a falling out which led to Luther forming Dennison Snacks. Theodore reads a letter from a man named Mayworth, who worked on his first wheat farm, asking for his help. He ends up going out to help them when confronted by the ghost of a boy who died after eating Royal Crackers. During his travels, Theodore stays at the house of the Bartleby family where their daughter develops a crush on him and he discovers that they are cannibals. After escaping with help from the ghost boy, Theodore makes it to the Mayworth homestead as the daughter of the Bartleby family talks the rest out of harming Theodore and the family inside. When he enters the house, he finds skeletons of the family. The ghost boy reveals that he is actually the Mayworth's daughter, having only brought Theodore there to witness the result of his greed before vanishing. Distraught, Theodore leaves the house and spitefully declares he was wrong to ever doubt his greedy ways. Back in the present, Rob and Mel Dennison bring an elderly and paraplegic Luther to the Hornsby's house. When alone with Theodore, Luther types on his speech-generating device that his wealth gave him no closure over their falling out and that he still considers him a friend while wishing him a happy birthday. Theodore briefly snaps out of his sleep state and strangles Luther to death as he tries to call for Rob. The episode ends with a shot of the two elderly men on the ground as two pictures on the walls come into view: one of Theodore on his wheat farm and the other of Theodore and the Bartleby's daughter, now Theodore's wife, with a young Stebe and Theo.

The Hornsbys are invited on a cruise by known billionaire George Zeebos as the struggle to fit in where anyone who does not live up to his expertise gets thrown overboard and eaten by sharks. Matt befriends George's robotic servant Tonya and develops a crush on her. After things go horribly awry, George sees that they don't have the same level of wealth as he does and plans to have them thrown to the sharks. Tonya helps the Hornsbys get away from the crowd. George sprouts mechanical tentacles and attacks the Hornsbys only for Tonya to sacrifice herself to destroy the ship and by the Hornsbys time to get off the shop. Back on shore, everyone heads home as Matt is mocked by his parents and Theo for dating a robot. Tonya's body sinks to the bottom of the ocean. In the post-credits, George washes ashore somewhere and plans his revenge on the Hornsbys.

In the 1800s, a Mexican archaeological group overseen by the Mexican army uncovers a chalice. The daughter of one of the soldiers grabs it and loses her hands. As the traps are set off, the chalice transports the girl out of the cave as everyone else perishes. In the present, Stebe has procured the box of Royal Crackers to appear on a Latin-American sitcom called "Casa De Papa". As Stebe, Deb, and Theo head to Burbank, California, Darby watches over Theodore as he procured the wrong car where they expected the vehicle that was one of the prizes for McDonald's Monopoly. Once Stebe, Deb, and Theo are on the set of "Casa De Papa", they watch the show in action where one of the characters eats the box of Royal Crackers and suffers a diarrhea side-effect that ends up killing the character much to the dismay of Stebe. Back at home, two criminals known as the Joey and Davey who are members of the Earl Grey Bandits plan to raid the house to get the chalice that fell into Theo's possession. Darby works to defend Theo and the household Home Alone style which doesn't go well. He and Theodore are taken captive by the Earl Grey Bandits as their client known as the Traveler (the same girl from the past who now sports cybernetic hands) arrives and tortures Darby on where the location of the chalice is. He tells them that it's in the dishwasher and Joey does the "tea bagging" to Theodore that explains why they are called the Earl Grey Bandits. As the Traveler gets the chalice, Darby breaks free and pursues the Traveler and the Earl Grey Bandits. Darby gets the chalice back with the Traveler and the Earl Grey Bandits dying in the process. The chalice transports Darby to the past where he goes to McDonald's and takes part in the McDonalds' Monopoly. Afterwards, Darby returns to the present just as Stebe, Deb, and Theo return home and find the car that Darby was supposed to procure for them in the garage. As everyone enters the house, Theo is heard asking Darby if he washed his chalice.

In light of the upcoming CrackerCon, Stebe shows off his new mascot for Royal Crackers to Deb called Captain Cracker as Deb gets aroused by the design of the costume. When Stebe tries to pitch it at the meeting, Theo overshadows him by pitching a cracker cannon which everyone but Stebe approves of. When at CrackerCon, the Hornsbys find that the Dennisons are in attendance. After a neglected Stebe leaves CrackerCon, Deb and Matt maintain the Royal Crackers Booth as Theo leads Darby, Rachel, and Al into finding a former stripper associate of his named Hazelnut to help with his presentation. Outside, Stebe gives some food to a yellow canary and ends up fighting a seagull that stole it. Rob Dennison learns of the cracker cannon and secretly steals it which he denies upon being confronted by Deb. After some setbacks at the strip club and the location of Hazelnut's parents, Theo finds her only to discover that Hazelnut has a family of her own. A saddened Theo gives his presentation which does not go well. Rob then does his demonstration with the stolen cracker cannon by loading food from Dennison' Snacks into it in order to combat an animatronic dinosaur head called Snackasaurus. Due to a malfunction backstage upon a crew member accidentally spilling his drink on the controls when ordered to turn down the fire-breathing level, Snackasaurus goes berserk and starts burning everything and everyone causing the Dennisons to flee. In the nick of time, Stebe appears in his Captain Cracker outfit as its fireproof traits help him protect his family and the surviving attendees followed by Captain Cracker using the Cracker Cannon at full power to destroy Snackasaurus. As Stebe and Deb make out, Hazelnut arrives stating to Theo that she left her other life as they make out. Darby is approached by the stripper that briefly touched him and they make out as Rachel and Al are shown giving positive reaction towards the make outs.

Matt gives a report about his passion for the video game Craftopia as a school project as his teacher, the internet prankster Zane, and his fellow classmates laugh at him. When Matt's computer is destroyed by Zane who claimed to the Feds that Matt's room was the hiding place of a known terrorist, he takes a job at Royal Crackers to save enough money to buy a replacement as Stebe won't procure him a replacement. He is placed in the tasting department. Al receives a call from the corporate level and is told to bring Matt up there. Upon arrival, Matt finds that the corporate level is run by an A.I. version of Theodore Hornsby Sr. where its controls are run through a Linksys modem as it claims to Matt that he would be a worthy successor to the real Theodore Hornsby Sr. than Stebe and Theo. Although the Theodore Hornsby Sr. A.I. helps Matt by blackmailing Matt's teacher into doing a prank on Zane by claiming that his parents died in a car accident, he wants Matt to abandon Craftopia by wrecking what he has worked on building there and straining his relationship with a fellow player. Al finds out that there is a surgical scar in the head of one of the tasting department workers as the Theodore Hornsby Sr. A.I. plans to have a surgeon place a chip in Matt so that he can live on in him like what he did to the tasting department members. Al thwarts the Theodore Hornsby Sr. A.I.'s plans by doing the same prank that Zane did on Matt as feds raid Royal Crackers shooting up everything, killing the surgeon, and destroying the Linksys modem enough to remove the control that the Theodore Hornsby Sr. A.I. has. Upon returning home, Matt finds a package that is implied to have been purchased by the real Theodore Hornsby Sr. It is a computer which Matt sets up in his room. He enters Craftopia, rebuilds everything there, moves his bed into the range of his computer, and lies on it until a ding is heard.

At Royal Crackers, Stebe, Theo, Deb, Darby, Al, and Rachel get word that Royal Crackers will not be sold at J. Davis High. This is because Mel Dennison has become a member of the school board and Head of School Lunches where she had Dennison Kale Chips be sold instead. Stebe, Theo, and Deb hold Matt accountable for not telling them of this beforehand. After Stebe and Deb attend a party held by the Dennisons who are claiming that they are "burying the hatchet" with the Hornsbys, Theo poses as a student in an attempt to cause a student uprising and ends up instigating a challenge from Matt to Rob and Mel's oldest son Sebastian as Mr. P informs them to do their challenge off school grounds. At Darby's suggestion, Stebe and Theo enlist STN new show host Smarv Tarvis to drum up some support for Royal Crackers. This causes the people of Bakersfield to take sides with some of them siding with Royal Crackers and some of them siding with Dennison Snacks as Clair Bailey interviews the Dennisons about it. Matt gets some motivation from local tough girl Holly about the upcoming showdown with Sebastian at Sylveria Park. As Matt gets advice from his parents about the upcoming fight where he brings up the standing up to bullies and fascist, Rob and Mel inform Sebastian not to lose or else. The Hornsbys visit the Dennisons where Deb tells them that they didn't want the fight to happen. She proceeds to tell the Dennisons that they can keep the school lunch contract for J. Davis High under the following conditions that Sebastian's "Hulk hands" shake Matt's "keyboard hands" for peace before Bakersfield gets worse. Rob and Mel agree where they also have conditions that Theo doesn't pose as a student in the locker rooms of J. Davis High and the lunch contract belongs to the Dennison family for the rest of time. The deals are agreed, but Deb, Stebe, Theo, and Matt had to bend their respectful knees. When it comes to the showdown in Sylveria Park, Matt and Sebastian "put their differences aside" to prevent a murder from happening. After the insult from Sebastian, Matt fights Sebastian and lifts him over his head. After seeing the mixed reactions from his parents, Rob and Mel, and Holly, Matt throws Sebastian to the ground enough to shatter him. Then a mass fight between the supporters of Royal Crackers and the supporters of Dennison Snacks breaks out as the episode ends.

In a flashback, Theodore Hornsby Sr. reacts to the people that Al had brought in to taste the crackers by reacting to their criticism where he accidentally cut his hand on the two-way mirror that he broke and later collapses on his way out. After some recurring nightmares involving a large anthropomorphic dog, Stebe plans to resolve this by bring out of retirement the dog mascot Mr. McCracky. During the meeting where this was unveiled, Al suffers from a heart attack. In a flashback, the board of directors have not been pleased with how Theodore has been running the country and his plans to make Hornsby Bridge that will go straight to Catalina Island, where its locals are vicious. Theodore states that he plans to develop the Hornsbyland theme park. The board of directors make a negative look-themed vote to have Theodore removed as CEO of Royal Crackers Incorporated. Despite this outcome, Theodore takes Al on a flight to Catalina Island as Al hides the papers that the board of directors gave him offering him to be the new CEO. The airplane is shot down and Theodore and Al fall out of the airplane. Back in the present, Stebe jumps out of the window to avoid the mascot employee's payment request combined with the nightmare. Theo picks up Stebe and they drive off explaining that he had traced the Mr. McCracky stuffed toy that he claimed from a restaurant's crane machine to a location that might hold the answers to them. Back in the past, Theodore and Al survive the fall as they find the pilot getting dragged off by a group of cat-like natives where the pilot is chained to a rock and killed by a strange dog-like beast. They barely avoid them and their dog-like beast that Theodore claims is a "chupacabra" in order to get to the airplane. While hiding in a cave and having found out that the board of directors wanting Al to succeed him, Theodore takes an egg that he found. When they make it to the airplane, Theodore ends up flying it into the "chupacabra" and the dead pilot. Taking the egg out of the airplane, he holds it up as the egg hatches into a baby "chupacabra". Back in the present, Stebe and Theo arrive at the entrance of the sealed off Hornsby Bridge. Al shows up advising them not to cross the bridge as they will not like what they find there. When Stebe and Theo do cross that bridge, they find the abandoned Hornsbyland and some skeletons. In a flashback, Hornsbyland has been developed since the cat-like natives revere Theodore as a god. Al brings a younger Stebe and Theo to him. When a "chupacabra" breaks out, Theodore orders the cat-like natives to take care of it by firing their arrows on it. They also fire arrows on the Mr. McCracky mascot and the patrons as Theodore doesn't want any witnesses. In another flashback, the board of directors praise Theodore's positive action as they enter the elevator. Unfortunately, Theodore had the elevator drop them off on a floor where he has another "chupacabra". Then he advises Al to take his leave as Al enters the same bloody elevator.

Deb and Stebe's love making has been decreased with Stebe having midnight snacks. To appease herself, she gets herself a MyCycle as a man named Deshaun does housework around the house. During her session on the MyCycle, she meets a MyCycle instructor named Keith who invites her to his MyCycle retreat. Meanwhile, Theo gets a Z-Pad and plays some of Taint's NuMetal Christmas songs to Theodore. This briefly awakens Theodore from his sleep state as he tells Theo "Stop playing me this f****** s***" as he breaks the Z-Pad before going back into his sleep state. An infuriated Theo goes to the Z-Pad's manufacturing plant to get it fixed. The plant is revealed to be owned by George Zeebos who is now a cyborg as his systems analyze that Theo is having daddy issues right now. Taking advantage of it, George approaches Theo offering to be his new father. Deb is at the retreat and partakes in the event. She and Keith soon discover some dead female bodies as they discover that it is a front for George Zeebos as they avoid his robots. After a pep talk from Deshaun, Stebe plans to prove his love to Deb. When Deb finds the controls to George's device, George has Theo attack Deb as Keith gets wounded in the process. They fall into a room where Theo's customized room regresses to a room that has Adam Sandler-related stuff in it. Theo agrees to help Deb. When it comes to the device, Theo and Deb throw it overboard as George jumps after it while losing some of his fake skin and cybernetic parts in the fall. Moments later, the police and the EMTs arrive at the plant where Keith is placed on a stretcher. Stebe arrives to profess his love to Deb while showing that he had burned his penis on a dripped pizza pocket. When Keith asks who Stebe is, Deb states that Stebe is her husband. In the post-credits, a reboot in the plant happens which also brings George back online as he laughs maniacally.