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Reviewer: Sainsf (talk · contribs) 17:23, 23 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Hi! I am interested to review this. Will add my comments shortly. Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 17:23, 23 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

• We generally do not keep citations in the lead. I would like them removed and the facts to be mentioned in the main text. If relevant enough facts can be added to the lead.
• It is the third largest pizza chain in the country with 12% share of Australia's pizza market When was this data recorded?
• Can the lead be expanded?
• Mention that Potter is a businessman.

1987–2007: the first 20 years

• Link (if possible) Disney, Stallone's Pizza, South Island
• Tom Potter went on to build Simply "Potter" would do
• but Potter dropped the 'B' after a few months in operation. Can we know the reason?
• In 1989 Potter decided to start recruiting franchisees Did he just decide this or implement this as well?
• Stallone's Pizza owner Gavin Cook merged with Eagle Boys I think the company merged and not the owner.
• NZ$28m Money conversion template?
• 2 minute "express" pizzas (limited range of 4) If possible keep numbers below 10 in words
• I think the term "Eaglexpress" should be mentioned in the line The company developed an express system... for the sake of an introduction. For example The company developed an express system, "Eaglexpress", ...
• Hungry Jack's and KFC Links?
• In 2007, Eagle Boys began trialing an online ordering system What became of it?

2007: handover to NBC Capital

• CEO Tom Potter When did he become CEO? Was he that since the start?
• Link for NBC Capital?
• 12-months Is the dash needed?
• 10% of the vote What does "vote" mean here?

2008–2013: five years of fast growth

• Pizza Hut overtook Eagle Boys I think we can add a "however" somewhere in this

2015: plans for new growth

• Suva, Fiji Links?

Marketing

• "pink glow" I understand this refers to the pink look of the logo, but can it be stated more explicitly in the article?
• Is Domino's linked in the main text yet?
• Can we link gluten, chocolate fudge mousse?

Stores

• No source? To which year does the data correspond?

That should be all. Good luck! Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 19:05, 23 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Clare.: You there? If there is no response within a week of the start of the review I will have to fail this nomination. Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 10:11, 26 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you Sainsf! I am working on a journal article critique for uni at the moment but will try to find time ASAP for this article - another motivator to finish my assignment! :):) I really appreciate your time on this, Clare. (talk) 01:51, 27 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the update. Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 04:24, 27 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Grahame:, @Clare.: A week has already passed without any response. I have been busy lately, so I could not turn up here. I think I can wait till next Sunday at most; if the review gets no response from the nominator or any other editor who wishes to help with the issues here I will have to fail this nomination. Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 06:33, 8 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Sainsf: Hi there Sainsf, I have addressed all your comments, bar one: the currency conversion. There is no wiki template to convert the currency to AUD, only USD, which I think in this instance is irrelevant. Would you reconsider that requirement? Thank you for your reminder to come back, I'm sorry it took me so long. Clare. (talk) 08:16, 9 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Clare.: Thanks for the reply. None of my suggestions are strict, I leave it to you as the nominator should know the article better. :) Alright, I notice no more troubles with the article. An interesting read. I am ready to promote it. Cheers! Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 08:22, 9 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]