I'll have a look at this one Cavie78 (talk) 22:12, 23 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Lead
"beginning development in 2013 to celebrate" -> "with development beginning in 2013 to celebrate"
You say "Western" a few times throughout the article. Maybe link to Western world just to be clear what you mean. (The infobox has dates for Japanese and worldwide releases)
Gameplay
"take control of four different protagonist through separate scenarios" -> "take control of four different protagonists through separate scenarios"
"with which events were completed" -> "with which events are completed"
"The types of events present in princes are towns which house story events and vendors" Don't know what you mean here. "In princes"?
Battle system
"The party is arranged in different formations" You say earlier in this section "the player and enemy parties" which makes it sound like you're only talking about the enemies and that the player is on their own. Make it clearer what you mean
"Each party member have health points" -> "Each party member has health points"
"While HP can be replenished"
"but LP cannot be replenished except by a party member not being in battle" Do you mean "but LP cannot be replenished unless a party member is not in battle"?
"Weapon have a similar system" -> "Weapons have a similar system"
"with the rank of blacksmiths"? You haven't mentioned blacksmiths. Are they part of the player's party or available in towns?
Synopsis
"the Firebringer would return to the world, causing monsters to spawn across the world" Don't think you need "across the world" here as you've already established you're talking about the world.
"The Celestials founded an empire among humanity to face off against both the monsters and the Firebringer" I'm not sure "among" is the right word here. "face off" doesn't seem particularly encyclopaedic.
"The celebrations gave way to fragmentation"
"the Empire divided by his warring sons, and seventy years prior to the game's opening, had completely collapsed" -> "the Empire divided by his warring sons, and seventy years prior to the game's opening it completely collapsed"
"is torn apart when their family home comes under attack" -> "is torn apart when her family home comes under attack"
"The plot of Scarlet Grace is highly non-linear"
Development
"but no-one seemed willing to develop the game with him" No-one? Other developers? A production company?"
"The game released on December 15, 2016. The game released as a standard edition and a limited edition which included a soundtrack album and artbook" -> "The game was released on December 15, 2016, as both a standard edition and as a limited edition, which included a soundtrack album and artbook" You should make it clear you mean in Japan (according to the infobox)
Design
"as they would require a sizeable dedicated team" -> "as they would have required a sizeable dedicated team"
"The lengthy load times were something the team accepted" In Development you say the development team shortened load times due to player feedback
"allowing players to following various scenarios through multiple characters" -> "allowing players to follow various scenarios through multiple characters"
"who had characters for the series since" -> "who had designed characters for the series since"
"exhausting herself due to feeling deeply connected to a character during its creation" Do you know which character?
SaGa: Scarlet Grace - Ambitions
"The port released in Japan" -> "The port was released in Japan"
"Porting to other platforms proved easier than it might have due to the engine choice" -> "Porting to other platforms proved relatively easy due to use of the Utility engine"
"Each lead character was different a different accent and style of speaking to represent coming from different regions of the world" Do you mean "Each lead character was given a different accent and style of speaking to represent coming from different regions of the world"?
"Urpina's archaic speech in Japanese was interpreted into "low fantasy" touches for their dialogue" -> "Urpina's archaic speech in Japanese was interpreted into "low fantasy" touches for her dialogue"
Music
"Kawazu's wish for the soundtrack was for it to be different from earlier entries in the SaGa series" -> "Kawazu's wanted the soundtrack for it to be different from earlier entries in the SaGa series"
"Ito found finalizing the game's musical image and challenge" -> "Ito found finalizing the game's musical image a challenge"
"wanted a Classiccally-style main theme" -> "wanted a Classical-style main theme"
"While he did not create many" Many what?
"The themes "Scarlet Spider" and "Mune ni Kizande" was first performed" -> "The themes "Scarlet Spider" and "Mune ni Kizande" were first performed"
"A two-disc soundtrack album was published on December 21, 2017" -> "A two-disc soundtrack album was released on December 21, 2017"
Reception
"Upon its debut, Scarlet Grace reached fourth place" -> "On its release, Scarlet Grace reached fourth place"
"in gaming charts" What charts? In Japan? Do the chart/s have a name?
"with sales of approaching"
"receiving a score of 76 points out of 100 based on eleven reviews for PS4" -> "receiving a score of 76 points out of 100 based on eleven reviews for PS4 on review aggregator Metacritic"
"The Switch version received a score of 79 out of 100 based on five reviews on Metacritic"
"faulting the characters as boring and the story as lacking" -> "findung the characters boring and the story lacking"
"praised the strength of character interactions" -> "praised the strength of the character interactions"
"found the story derivative and giving little reason for her to carry on" -> "found the story derivative and stated that it gave her little reason to carry on playing"
"but faulted presentation issues with asset recycling" -> "but criticized the presentation for asset recycling"
"but was mixed about the visuals due to its unconventional style" -> "but had mixed feelings about the visuals, due to their unconventional style"
"they praised the additions as promoting ease of play compared to the original despite lacking clear tutorials" -> "they praised the additions as promoting ease of play compared to the original, despite lacking clear tutorials"
"Musgrave said that he could "could gush about the mechanics all day" -> "Musgrave said that he could "could gush about the mechanics all day"
"Hagues positively noted that, despite some difficulty spikes and unconventional structure, it proved far more inviting than earlier entries in the SaGa series" -> "Hagues found the title to be far more inviting than earlier entries in the SaGa series, despite some difficulty spikes and the unconventional structure"
Images
Ok
Sources
Look ok
Placing on hold for now Cavie78 (talk) 15:03, 24 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@Cavie78: I gone through the article, and I think addressed everything above. --ProtoDrake (talk) 16:27, 24 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for making the changes, but there are still several outstanding:
"The types of events present in princes are towns which house story events and vendors" What do you mean by "in princes"?
Whoops, missed this one.
"While HP can be replenished"
Again, missed this one.
"Under the other Celestials, humanity founds the Empire to defend against the Firebringer" I don't know what you mean here. What exactly did the Celestials do? Who are the "other Celestials"? You need to say "founded" not "founds"
Tried rewriting it a little. It's just really awkward lore to write about concisely.
"The lengthy load times were something the team accepted" As you've changed this in Development, I assume the load times were originally even longer?
I've triple-checked the original source, rewritten for hopeful clarity, and consolidated all stuff related to the loading times together.
Let me know when these have been addressed Cavie78 (talk) 20:22, 25 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@Cavie78: Did my best to fix above. Sorry about the points I missed. --ProtoDrake (talk) 20:32, 25 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Excellent - thanks @ProtoDrake:. I've had another read through and I'm now happy that all my concerns have been addressed. Congrats on promotion to GA! Cavie78 (talk) 20:35, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]