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Reviewer: TeenAngels1234 (talk · contribs) 09:44, 3 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Stay tuned.--TeenAngels1234 (talk) 09:44, 3 November 2022 (UTC)
@Tintor2:Okay. Sorry, I was busy.[reply]
- I would put a comma before `who wished to properly show'.
- Couldn't the sentences in the last paragraph of the incipit be tied together? That "As a result," for example, I don't like.
- I would simplify some parts of the plot.
- Is the mention of the battle with Nina necessary? Maybe she is a key character, but it seems to me a very superfluous aside like that in Siynopsis.
- I would avoid the repetition of 'games' in Production.
- I would put a comma before 'while the series' director'.
- Harada's comment seems superfluous to me. The fact that he is the game designer on the other hand is encyclopaedic.
- Removed the apology thing if taht's what the superflous
- The comments of the two voice actors also seem very vague and unencyclopaedic to me. I would remove them.
- "with Comic Book Resources". Doesn't seem related to 'mixed' to me. I would therefore split the period into two sentences; one saying the reception was mixed, and another separate sentence presenting CBR and other sources.
- 'Series writer' in capital letters.
That is all.--TeenAngels1234 (talk) 20:44, 8 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]
@TeenAngels1234: Thanks for the review.Tintor2 (talk) 21:01, 8 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]