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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 08:22, 7 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

• "the WSPU (Women's Social and Political Union)" other way round first mention, i.e. the Women's Social and Political Union (WSPU)
• "appointed by the Women's Social and Political Union (WSPU) as a travelling..." umm.. just use the unlinked abbreviation here.
• Probably worth contextualising who H. H. Asquith was for readers who may not be aware that he was nearly the PM at that time.
• "She died of cancer on 21 October 1964" unless somehow notable, we don't normally "do" deaths in the lead.
• "at The Women's Library' The isn't part of the title.
• "Lancashire on 15' comma after Lancs.
• "subsidisdised" I say, what?
• Could link Blackburn (since you linked Preston).
• "school aged 13, became an" +she.
• "hatmaking trade" isn't that more encyclopedically known as millinery? Or hat-making.
• in Manchester.[4] In Manchester" repetitive. And link perhaps.
• "the Manchester University" well, either no "the" or (preferably), the University of Manchester.

• Amended to "studying at the University of Manchester Settlement" with no wiki-link, as the Settlement seems to be distinct from the associated University. (see here and [1] here.) BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 14:29, 7 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• "a travelling speakers" just one.
• "the Labour Party[9] " full stop.
• "outside of H. H. Asquith's home" see above. Even just British member of parliament?

• Amended to include "Chancellor of the Exchequer" here and in the lead. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 14:29, 7 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• "1875/6"1875/76.
• "the Liberal" link.

• Amended to "the Liberal Party" BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 14:29, 7 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• Was the Huddersfield by-election this one? Could link.
• "1907, Emmeline Pankhurst suspended" overlinked.
• "the billiard company" link billiard.

• Amended and linked. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 14:29, 7 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• Why sub for her husband in 1923?

• Sources I've seen don't say why. McPhee & FitzGerald say it was "shortly after the family moved to London" but no further details; ODNB only mentions it in passing. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 14:29, 7 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• " the Second World War " you just had World War I, so be consistent.
• "Her articles critical" +were
• "then common (attacks on property, for example), " -> "then common, such as attacks on property,"
• "held at The Women's Library" the Women's Library.
• Link and italics for Oxford Dictionary of National Biography.
• "p.295 " p. 295.
• Ref 4, en-dash.
• Ref 6 too, and pp.
• ref 11, en-dashes, not spaced hyphens.
• Ref 15 en-dash.
• Check all other page ranges are separated by en-dash.
• ISBNs could use consistency.

That's all I have. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 12:38, 7 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Many thanks, The Rambling Man. I've amended the article in line with your review comments, with notes on a few points above. Let me know if anything else is required. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 14:29, 7 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]