"The Abstinence"

Seinfeld episode

Episode no.

Season 8
Episode 9

Directed by

Andy Ackerman

Written by

Steve Koren

Production code

809

Original air date

November 21, 1996

Guest appearances

Phil Morris as Jackie Chiles
Bob Odenkirk as Ben Gelfen
Derek Jeter as himself
Bernie Williams as himself
Alex Trebek as himself
Brenda Strong as Sue Ellen
Debra Jo Rupp as Katie
Meagen Fay as Mrs. Burns
Tamara Bick as Louise
Lawrence Mandley as Larry the Cook
Kyle Gass as Smoker
Fern Fitzgerald as Ms. Wilkie
Noëlle Balfour as Portuguese waitress
Judy Kerr as Woman
David Letterman as himself (uncredited)

Episode chronology

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"The Chicken Roaster"

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"The Andrea Doria"

Seinfeld (season 8)

List of episodes

"The Abstinence" is the 143rd episode of the American sitcom Seinfeld. This was the ninth episode for the eighth season, originally broadcast on the NBC network on November 21, 1996.^[1] This episode focuses on George and Elaine's experiments with sexual abstinence, which has a polar opposite effect on each one's intelligence. Meanwhile, Kramer's face becomes disfigured by smoke when he turns his apartment into a smoking lounge, prompting him to file a lawsuit against the tobacco companies.

Plot

George's girlfriend Louise has mononucleosis, so he can't have sex with her for six weeks. Without sex to distract him, George's mind becomes sharper, he learns things more quickly, and develops a deeper relationship with Louise.

Elaine brags that she is dating a doctor, but her boyfriend Ben informs her that not only is he not yet a doctor, he has failed his licensing exam three times. Elaine continues to boast that Ben is a doctor, but her cover is blown when he is unable to help when a man passes out in Monk's. She uses George's technique of abstinence to help him study to get his license. She begins to experience difficulty forming normal sentences, and Jerry theorizes that abstinence has the reverse effect on women. She begs Jerry to have sex with her, to clear her mind. Jerry turns her down because of the weird circumstances. Ben gets his license and dumps Elaine, leaving her sexually frustrated.

Jerry agrees to appear at career day at his former junior high school, but he is bumped off, first when the zoo worker with a preceding slot runs long, then because of a fire drill. Jerry's agent gets him a whole assembly at the school. Jerry struggles to figure out how to fill two hours in front of a junior high crowd. George creates a presentation for the assembly.

Seeing a bunch of smokers forced to smoke outside Monk's, Kramer is inspired to open up his apartment as a smoking lounge. The extensive secondhand smoke makes his face become leathery. Kramer sees his lawyer Jackie Chiles about suing the tobacco company for ruining his good looks. The company bypasses Chiles and settles with Kramer by featuring him as a smoking cowboy on a Times Square billboard, with no pay.

Louise tells George that her mononucleosis diagnosis was incorrect, but he decides that he prefers his newfound mental acuity to sex with her. She breaks up with him in sexual frustration. George has sex with a Portuguese waitress. He arrives at the school to meet Jerry, but with his intellect back to his usual, he can no longer do the presentation. Jerry goes in, and bombs. Talk show host David Letterman informs Jerry his appearance has been canceled because of the middle school mishaps.

Production

Ben was based on a friend of writer Steve Koren's who failed the licensing exam to be a doctor multiple times.^[2]

This episode was filmed in front of a live audience on November 6, 1996. Wade Boggs was originally included in the script but didn't make it into the filming.^{[citation needed]} David Letterman's cameo was filmed at his office at the Ed Sullivan Theater in New York.^{[citation needed]}

Jackie Chiles actor Phil Morris said he found it very gratifying to be in an episode in which his character takes on the tobacco companies, having been made fun of his entire life due to his having the same name as the tobacco brand Philip Morris.^[3]

References

External links

Seinfeld episodes

Seinfeld episodes
Season 1	"The Seinfeld Chronicles" "The Stake Out" "The Robbery" "Male Unbonding" "The Stock Tip"
Season 2	"The Ex-Girlfriend" "The Pony Remark" "The Jacket" "The Phone Message" "The Apartment" "The Statue" "The Revenge" "The Heart Attack" "The Deal" "The Baby Shower" "The Chinese Restaurant" "The Busboy"
Season 3	"The Note" "The Truth" "The Pen" "The Dog" "The Library" "The Parking Garage" "The Cafe" "The Tape" "The Nose Job" "The Stranded" "The Alternate Side" "The Red Dot" "The Subway" "The Pez Dispenser" "The Suicide" "The Fix-Up" "The Boyfriend"† "The Limo" "The Good Samaritan" "The Letter" "The Parking Space" "The Keys"
Season 4	"The Trip"† "The Pitch" "The Ticket" "The Wallet" "The Watch" "The Bubble Boy" "The Cheever Letters" "The Opera" "The Virgin" "The Contest" "The Airport" "The Pick" "The Movie" "The Visa" "The Shoes" "The Outing" "The Old Man" "The Implant" "The Junior Mint" "The Smelly Car" "The Handicap Spot" "The Pilot"†
Season 5	"The Mango" "The Puffy Shirt" "The Glasses" "The Sniffing Accountant" "The Bris" "The Lip Reader" "The Non-Fat Yogurt" "The Barber" "The Masseuse" "The Cigar Store Indian" "The Conversion" "The Stall" "The Dinner Party" "The Marine Biologist" "The Pie" "The Stand In" "The Wife" "The Raincoats"† "The Fire" "The Hamptons" "The Opposite"
Season 6	"The Chaperone" "The Big Salad" "The Pledge Drive" "The Chinese Woman" "The Couch" "The Gymnast" "The Soup" "The Mom & Pop Store" "The Secretary" "The Race" "The Switch" "The Label Maker" "The Scofflaw" "The Highlights of 100"† "The Beard" "The Kiss Hello" "The Doorman" "The Jimmy" "The Doodle" "The Fusilli Jerry" "The Diplomat's Club" "The Face Painter" "The Understudy"
Season 7	"The Engagement" "The Postponement" "The Maestro" "The Wink" "The Hot Tub" "The Soup Nazi" "The Secret Code" "The Pool Guy" "The Sponge" "The Gum" "The Rye" "The Caddy" "The Seven" "The Cadillac"† "The Shower Head" "The Doll" "The Friar's Club" "The Wig Master" "The Calzone" "The Bottle Deposit"† "The Wait Out" "The Invitations"
Season 8	"The Foundation" "The Soul Mate" "The Bizarro Jerry" "The Little Kicks" "The Package" "The Fatigues" "The Checks" "The Chicken Roaster" "The Abstinence" "The Andrea Doria" "The Little Jerry" "The Money" "The Comeback" "The Van Buren Boys" "The Susie" "The Pothole" "The English Patient" "The Nap" "The Yada Yada" "The Millennium" "The Muffin Tops" "The Summer of George"
Season 9	"The Butter Shave" "The Voice" "The Serenity Now" "The Blood" "The Junk Mail" "The Merv Griffin Show" "The Slicer" "The Betrayal" "The Apology" "The Strike" "The Dealership" "The Reverse Peephole" "The Cartoon" "The Strongbox" "The Wizard" "The Burning" "The Bookstore" "The Frogger" "The Maid" "The Puerto Rican Day" "The Chronicle"† "The Finale"†
† Indicates two-part episode