"The Calzone"

Seinfeld episode

Episode no.

Season 7
Episode 20

Directed by

Andy Ackerman

Written by

Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer

Production code

720

Original air date

April 25, 1996

Guest appearances

Wayne Knight as Newman
John D'Aquino as Todd Gack
Peter Allas as Mario the Counter Guy
Dylan Tays as Nicki
Greg Collins as Policeman
Jane A. Johnston as Todd's Mother
Lee Bear as George Steinbrenner (uncredited)
Larry David as George Steinbrenner (voice) (uncredited)

Episode chronology

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"The Wig Master"

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"The Bottle Deposit"

Seinfeld (season 7)

List of episodes

"The Calzone" is the 130th episode of the NBC sitcom Seinfeld. This is the 20th episode of the seventh season, originally airing on April 25, 1996.^[1] In this episode, George Costanza gets the ear of George Steinbrenner by having calzones for lunch with him, Elaine repeatedly goes out to dinner and movies with a guy who never actually asks her out, and Kramer heats his clothes in dryers and ovens.

Plot

Steinbrenner becomes intrigued by George's lunch, a calzone, during a meeting. George allows him to try it. Steinbrenner then has George bring him a calzone for lunch every day, allowing George to effectively become his right hand advisor. Frustrated that the Paisano's restaurant owner chances to look away when he puts money into the tip jar two days in a row, George tries to fish out his money. The owner turns and, thinking George is stealing money from the jar, bans him from the shop. George tries unsuccessfully to persuade Steinbrenner to switch to something different for lunch. So that he can stay in Steinbrenner's good graces, George makes a deal with Newman, whose mail route brings him past Paisano's every day, to obtain the calzones in exchange for George footing the entire bill.

Elaine is taken out to dinner by Todd Gack because he lost a bet with her that Dustin Hoffman was in Star Wars. Jerry believes the bet was spurious, a way of getting a date with Elaine without having to ask her out (and therefore risk being rejected). Todd offers to sell Jerry some Cuban cigars, allowing him to go out to dinner with Elaine again in order to deliver them, but they turn out to be from Peru. Todd continues to insist he is not dating Elaine, even after he takes her to dinner with his parents.

Jerry takes advantage of his beautiful girlfriend Nicki's ability to get anything she wants, including convincing a cop to not give him a speeding ticket, by asking her to convince Todd he shouldn't have to pay for the cigars. However, when Todd sees Nicki he winds up wheedling a dinner with her, leaving Elaine feeling she has been dumped. Nicki subsequently breaks up with Jerry, although she continues to request favors from him.

Kramer begins wearing only clothes that have come straight out of the dryer, because the warmth is comfortable. When he runs out of quarters for the dryer, he turns to using ovens to warm his clothing.

To George's frustration, Newman calls in sick and does not go to work because it is raining (despite the postman's creed). George asks Kramer to get him a calzone. Kramer gets wet in the rain, so he puts his clothes in the pizza oven at Paisano's, and they get burned. He tries to pay for the calzones with small change, and is turned away. Kramer goes to George's office to tell him what happened and drops his burnt clothes by a vent. In desperation, George goes to purchase calzones from a different restaurant. The smell from Kramer's clothes wafts into Steinbrenner's office, and he runs to George's office, thinking he has calzones. Steinbrenner realizes the smell is from the clothes. He is inspired to heat up the Yankees' clothes using the same method, distracting him from the lack of calzones.

Kramer pays for the Peruvian cigars with his change.

Production

Writers Alec Berg and Jeff Schaffer got the inspiration for the episode when they took a break from writing for calzones and their contribution to the tip jar went unnoticed.^[2] Kramer's Italian rant was unscripted, and was improvised by actor Michael Richards during filming.^[3]

In an unused ending to the George story, Steinbrenner decides he no longer wants calzones because the cheese is bad for his health, and says he'll have "a big salad" instead, referencing the episode "The Big Salad".^[3]

Critical response

Linda S. Ghent, Professor in the Department of Economics at Eastern Illinois University, discusses this episode in terms of incentive and explains:

George puts a dollar in the tip jar at the pizzeria, but the counterman's head was turned and he didn't see it. George laments that it cost him a dollar, but he got no credit for it. His altruism is not pure - he gets utility not from giving, but from getting credit for giving.^[4]

References

External links

Seinfeld episodes

Seinfeld episodes
Season 1	"The Seinfeld Chronicles" "The Stake Out" "The Robbery" "Male Unbonding" "The Stock Tip"
Season 2	"The Ex-Girlfriend" "The Pony Remark" "The Jacket" "The Phone Message" "The Apartment" "The Statue" "The Revenge" "The Heart Attack" "The Deal" "The Baby Shower" "The Chinese Restaurant" "The Busboy"
Season 3	"The Note" "The Truth" "The Pen" "The Dog" "The Library" "The Parking Garage" "The Cafe" "The Tape" "The Nose Job" "The Stranded" "The Alternate Side" "The Red Dot" "The Subway" "The Pez Dispenser" "The Suicide" "The Fix-Up" "The Boyfriend"† "The Limo" "The Good Samaritan" "The Letter" "The Parking Space" "The Keys"
Season 4	"The Trip"† "The Pitch" "The Ticket" "The Wallet" "The Watch" "The Bubble Boy" "The Cheever Letters" "The Opera" "The Virgin" "The Contest" "The Airport" "The Pick" "The Movie" "The Visa" "The Shoes" "The Outing" "The Old Man" "The Implant" "The Junior Mint" "The Smelly Car" "The Handicap Spot" "The Pilot"†
Season 5	"The Mango" "The Puffy Shirt" "The Glasses" "The Sniffing Accountant" "The Bris" "The Lip Reader" "The Non-Fat Yogurt" "The Barber" "The Masseuse" "The Cigar Store Indian" "The Conversion" "The Stall" "The Dinner Party" "The Marine Biologist" "The Pie" "The Stand In" "The Wife" "The Raincoats"† "The Fire" "The Hamptons" "The Opposite"
Season 6	"The Chaperone" "The Big Salad" "The Pledge Drive" "The Chinese Woman" "The Couch" "The Gymnast" "The Soup" "The Mom & Pop Store" "The Secretary" "The Race" "The Switch" "The Label Maker" "The Scofflaw" "The Highlights of 100"† "The Beard" "The Kiss Hello" "The Doorman" "The Jimmy" "The Doodle" "The Fusilli Jerry" "The Diplomat's Club" "The Face Painter" "The Understudy"
Season 7	"The Engagement" "The Postponement" "The Maestro" "The Wink" "The Hot Tub" "The Soup Nazi" "The Secret Code" "The Pool Guy" "The Sponge" "The Gum" "The Rye" "The Caddy" "The Seven" "The Cadillac"† "The Shower Head" "The Doll" "The Friar's Club" "The Wig Master" "The Calzone" "The Bottle Deposit"† "The Wait Out" "The Invitations"
Season 8	"The Foundation" "The Soul Mate" "The Bizarro Jerry" "The Little Kicks" "The Package" "The Fatigues" "The Checks" "The Chicken Roaster" "The Abstinence" "The Andrea Doria" "The Little Jerry" "The Money" "The Comeback" "The Van Buren Boys" "The Susie" "The Pothole" "The English Patient" "The Nap" "The Yada Yada" "The Millennium" "The Muffin Tops" "The Summer of George"
Season 9	"The Butter Shave" "The Voice" "The Serenity Now" "The Blood" "The Junk Mail" "The Merv Griffin Show" "The Slicer" "The Betrayal" "The Apology" "The Strike" "The Dealership" "The Reverse Peephole" "The Cartoon" "The Strongbox" "The Wizard" "The Burning" "The Bookstore" "The Frogger" "The Maid" "The Puerto Rican Day" "The Chronicle"† "The Finale"†
† Indicates two-part episode