Folly, thou conquerest, and I must yield!
Against stupidity the very gods
Themselves contend in vain.

-Friedrich Schiller, The Maid of Orleans (although I came to it, of course, through Isaac Asimov)

Wikipedia is ... a place where anyone with a browser can go, pick a subject that interests them, and without even logging in, start an argument.

-Lore Sjoberg, The Wikipedia FAQK

If the text of each phrase requires a paragraph (to disprove), each paragraph - a section, each section - a chapter, and each chapter - a book, the whole text becomes effectively irrefutable and, therefore, acquires features of truthfulness. I define such truthfulness as transcendental.

-Sergey Lopatnikov, quoted here. Applicability to WP is left as an exercise for the reader.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit.

-Max Ehrmann, Desiderata

Wikipedia is basically Webkinz World for grownups.

-Mrs. Floquenbeam, while watching my daughter and me both "playing" at the same time

I haven't yet been screwed by sonneteers.
So that's how I select my fav'rite peers.

-User:Proofreader77, (unpublished work)

Strength is essential, but otherwise unimportant

-Hardy Cross

The Center of the Universe (the Mountain, not the city). I live very, very far away from it now. :(

Hello, and welcome

I respond to Floquenbeam, Floq, Flo, FB, Flow, any other nickname you can think of (as long as it's not rude), or even "hey you", as long as I know from context you're talking to me.
I don't go around correcting people when they guess wrong (hardly their fault), but I'm a "he".
I'm easy to get along with (at least in real life), so please give me any constructive criticism you want; I'm aware that I'm imperfect, and usually quite willing to admit it and apologize when I screw up.
I try my best to turn the other cheek, but I'm evidently not so great getting unconstructive criticism, particularly when my good faith is questioned, or if I think I'm being patronized.
I instinctively side with the underdog, so I tend to react poorly when I see other people (particularly newbies) bullied or patronized. I'm not convinced that's a defect, but I'm trying to make more of an effort in not going immediately into attack mode.
Sock declaration: User:Floquensock, User:Floquenstein's monster, and User:Floquenphone are me. As is future bureaucrat User:Aardvark Floquenbeam.
FWIW, I used to have another account before Floquenbeam, but abandoned it; so I've been here longer than it looks.
I was on the Arbitration Committee from 1 January 2014 until 29 July 2014, but couldn't hack it.
I am an admin here. Interesting reading: WP:Requests for adminship/Floquenbeam and WP:Requests for adminship/Floquenbeam 2.

Userboxes

This user remembers (with nostalgia) having to use punch cards to run Fortran programs in college.

... My first self-created userbox, inspired by a conversation with an incredulous 25 year old coworker today

This user has been editing Wikipedia for more than ten years.

This user has been on Wikipedia for 15 years and 6 months.

... My wiki birthday. I am somewhat older than this in real life.

I'm an awesome Wikipedian!

This user has been identified as an Awesome Wikipedian and was awarded their own day on 27 May 2010.

... Happy me day!

This user is an administrator, but might like not to be one some day.

... Shamelessly stolen from Pedro

This user is not God Emperor of Wikipedia but might like to be some day.

...Thanks Mandarax!

This user is an administrator, but mostly out of spite.

... Not stolen from Pedro, but inspired by him

According to The Political Compass this user is:
Economic Neutral (1.0) and
Social Libertarian (−5.0)

... So no, I'm not working for Santorum's election campaign, in spite of occasional moronic claims to the contrary

This administrator is open to recall.

... Finally got around to this: see User:Floquenbeam/Recall

Mr Moon ?/?/02 - 8/28/14

... Good boy.

This user has met two Wikipedians in real life

... And they were both completely normal human beings!

This user is clever and lazy on the Hammerstein-Equord Scale.

... although stupid and lazy is also a distinct possibility

This user pursues vandals for personal validation rather than any deep-seated conviction.

This user has eaten a rodent.

...cuy!

This user has received the Janssen COVID-19 vaccine.

...nonconformist

This user has received a Moderna COVID-19 vaccine booster dose.

...whatever they had

This user has received a Pfizer–BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine booster dose.

...intentionally went for the trifecta

Useful links

Workbenches: DPWL • SE • NDT • Montessori • Sandbox • Emergency backup sandbox • My subpages

Interwiki: Meta: Watchlist • talk • Commons: Watchlist • talk • Simple: Watchlist • talk

Tools: SUL tool • Cross-namespace redirects • Editor interaction • append this to get MW pages: &uselang=qqx

Wikipedia Library: My library

New unbulleted paragraph in a bulleted comment: *<li style="list-style:none">Text here</li>

For next time: Wikipedia:Arbitration/Requests/Case/TheCaseNameGoesHere/Update list

This is the year

~~2019: Seattle Mariners win it all. You heard it here first. --Floquenbeam (talk) 17:30, 13 October 2018 (UTC)~~

20 March 2019: Best record in baseball

14 June 2019: No so much

2023: Seattle Mariners win it all. You heard it here first. --Floquenbeam (talk) 22:29, 26 October 2022 (UTC)

v t e AL West	W	L	Pct.	GB	Home	Road
Houston Astros	90	72	0.556	—	39–42	51–30
Texas Rangers	90	72	0.556	—	50–31	40–41
Seattle Mariners	88	74	0.543	2	45–36	43–38
Los Angeles Angels	73	89	0.451	17	38–43	35–46
Oakland Athletics	50	112	0.309	40	26–55	24–57

2015/16: Denver Broncos win it all. You heard it here first. --Floquenbeam (talk) 23:50, 12 January 2015 (UTC)
Done

2017-present: You know, it's taken many decades, and I've shamefully looked the other way most of those decades, but the last few months have made even a white, male, old dog like me maybe 20% woke. Fuck the NFL. CTE. Blackmailing cities for stadia. Crawling over one another to hire rapists. Blackballing Colin Kaepernick. Fuck every single person associated with the ownership of this league. I have no illusions that this matters to anyone, but I'm trying to improve my karma by boycotting the NFL this year. MLB may not be much better, but it's got to be incrementally better, right?. Wish I could turn to NCAA football instead, but ... Jesus, it's just horrible, horrible people every way you turn. --Floquenbeam (talk) 00:30, 10 August 2017 (UTC)