Userboxes

Rawr! This user remembers a kinder, gentler Wikipedia, before the meteor killed everyone.

This user observes Daylight Saving Time.

UTC-5

This user's time zone is UTC-5.

Pr-3

This user believes that process is a good servant, but a poor master

This user likes pie.

Status

Inactive, unfortunately. Nothing is keeping me away (aside from the usual duties of life), but not enough is drawing me back.--Tznkai (talk) 22:03, 23 September 2015 (UTC)

I am

Completely and totally incompetent when it comes to the look and feel of user pages, please help

I was

An administrator on the English language Wikipedia and regular patroller of Requests for Arbitration Enforcement
A clerk for the Arbitration Committee
An Election Administrator, coordinator, and architect of the Electoral Commission
A member of the now defunct Audit Subcommittee. and in that capacity, aFunctionary identified to the Wikimedia Foundation.

In all of these things I was both a success and a failure.

Virtual office

My desk For my own personal use, and drafts

Personal policies

collapsed
The following is a content that has been placed in a collapse box for improved usability.
Administrative actions: I will never under any circumstances wheel war. If for some reason it appears that I am doing so, I encourage any and all users to leave me a note on my talk page I will not protect an article, if I have made both content edits to that article, AND the current version is substantially similar to a version I have authored. I will not take any administrative action if I have good reason to believe my judgment is compromised by favoritism. Blocking: When in doubt, I do not block. I prefer shorter blocks to longer blocks. I will lean heavily towards indefinite blocks when a user is displaying a battleground mentality. I use common sense and tolerance when dealing with users. I am more likely to block in cases of incivility, especially combined with personal attacks, deceptive sock puppetry, IP changing, and abuse of administrator noticeboards. Mailing lists ~~Updated 18:13, 2 December 2009 (UTC):I have access to the Functionaries-en, Checkuser-l, Overslight-l, and Clerk-l mailing lists.~~ Updated 18:13, 2 December 2009 (UTC):I release copyright and privacy concerns on all work material on these e-mails for internal use. Updated 18:13, 2 December 2009 (UTC):I release copyright and privacy concerns on the contents of all of my e-mails if there is a request from law enforcement from the United States, or the 50 states. Updated 18:13, 2 December 2009 (UTC):I retain copyright and copyright concerns on the contents of all of my e-mails in all other situations, including requests by private parties, the press, and the Wikimedia Foundation. Permission and access revocation I explicitly authorize the immediate removal of my sysop permission if any of the following occur: Any steward has a reasonable suspicion my account has been compromised (this account should also be blocked indefinitely) I have been inactive without warning for more than six months I have been inactive beyond posted warning for more than one year.

collapsed

The following is a content that has been placed in a collapse box for improved usability.

Administrative actions:

I will never under any circumstances wheel war. If for some reason it appears that I am doing so, I encourage any and all users to leave me a note on my talk page
I will not protect an article, if I have made both content edits to that article, AND the current version is substantially similar to a version I have authored.
I will not take any administrative action if I have good reason to believe my judgment is compromised by favoritism.

Blocking:

When in doubt, I do not block.
I prefer shorter blocks to longer blocks.
I will lean heavily towards indefinite blocks when a user is displaying a battleground mentality.
I use common sense and tolerance when dealing with users.
I am more likely to block in cases of incivility, especially combined with personal attacks, deceptive sock puppetry, IP changing, and abuse of administrator noticeboards.

Mailing lists

~~Updated 18:13, 2 December 2009 (UTC):I have access to the Functionaries-en, Checkuser-l, Overslight-l, and Clerk-l mailing lists.~~

Updated 18:13, 2 December 2009 (UTC):I release copyright and privacy concerns on all work material on these e-mails for internal use.
Updated 18:13, 2 December 2009 (UTC):I release copyright and privacy concerns on the contents of all of my e-mails if there is a request from law enforcement from the United States, or the 50 states.
Updated 18:13, 2 December 2009 (UTC):I retain copyright and copyright concerns on the contents of all of my e-mails in all other situations, including requests by private parties, the press, and the Wikimedia Foundation.

Permission and access revocation

I explicitly authorize the immediate removal of my sysop permission if any of the following occur:

Any steward has a reasonable suspicion my account has been compromised (this account should also be blocked indefinitely)
I have been inactive without warning for more than six months
I have been inactive beyond posted warning for more than one year.

Free advice

Today's witticism: TMI. Especially applies to bad writing.

From me

Something all Wikipedian's should remember.
Spend more time with your family and/or friends than with Wikipedia.
Peace-making is the first step in right-making.
Sometimes you're wrong.
It can happen to you.
Wikipedia is huge.
The more time you spend talking, the more likely you've already said something stupid.
Don't stand on principle. Be principled, stand on reasons.
Policy is a tool, not an end.
Keep threaded discussions short and sweet so new readers can keep up without having to emotional energy catching up.
Loyalty is the most beguiling of virtues. It leads the evil to kindness, and the kind to meanness.
Don't use policy as a weapon.
Sometimes the only solution is one that makes no one happy.
If you use it like a weapon, consensus will forever be beyond your grasp.
If a standard process leads you to the right result but takes a lot of work, follow the process. If process leads you to a result you don't like, follow the process. If process leads you to an absurd result, ignore the process.
Learn the difference between absurd and unfortunate.
Understand the reasons behind the policy you invoke.
Contextualization ruins everything.
A fanatic is someone who has forgotten where they are going - but has redoubled his efforts to get there.
A partisan is someone who has forgotten that the goal is to win the war, not to beat the enemy.
To no editor is any process due, but every editor is due respect.

Add your own

Bwilkins first rule of Sockpuppet Accusations: Put up or shut up. Either file your SPI, or STFU
Bwilkins first rule of Edit Warring: Except for clear vandalism, DON'T. No excuses
Jehochman's rule of regret: When you feel the tingle of adrenaline, DON'T hit the save button.

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