I retired from editing Wikipedia on 31 December 2018.

Previous discussions that I have retained can be found in this archive.

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For what I sincerely hope is the last and final time – and for what I really, truly, genuinely *want* to be the last and final time, too – this is Bluebird207, posting on his old talk page at an IP address.

(And any reader who thinks this is a Joe-jobber pretending to be Bluebird207, you are wrong – this *really is* Bluebird207 himself. As if I haven't already stressed this enough, I *cannot* edit as Bluebird207 – and never will be able to edit as Bluebird207 again – simply because when I retired at the end of 2018, I went so far as to change my password to something I'd never remember in a million years. Also, I never submitted either of my email addresses – Outlook or Yahoo! – to associate with my account. If for whatever reason you're *still* not convinced, then if you have the privilege, check the IP addresses from which I edited as Bluebird207 – you will find that these are Irish IP addresses like this one.)

I have already confessed to trolling Imzadi1979 out of sheer madness, after my disagreement with him from 2014 suddenly and unexpectedly came back into my conscious and would not go away again no matter how hard I tried. And having been told by CoffeeCrumbs in response to that confession that I was a bad fit for Wikipedia – and having found myself *completely* agreeing with CoffeeCrumbs, that I *was* and *am* a bad fit for Wikipedia – now I feel I have to confess to more wrongdoings. (I am not pinging Imzadi this time, nor any of the other editors I pinged when making that confession.)

First of all, I said that after I retired as Bluebird207, I was tempted back as an anonymous editor, and I also made edits from VPN addresses. Well, actually... that wasn't the whole truth. I did not say then – but will say now – that I did actually create new accounts. And a *lot* of them, too.

For over two years, from early 2020 to mid-2022, I edited as Klondike53226, until that account was suspended as a suspected sockpuppet of ChupoKlasky1991. Because I *was* ChupoKlasky1991 too; *and* I was BakerOfButchersfield.

I was NorthAmericanPlateNut as well. And BSanders46. *And* Hutcher Huntins and AllensHummingbird. AND Roger 3 Roger, Roger 7 Roger and Roger 9 Roger, too. I was each and every one of them; I created each and every one of those accounts.

And why did I create *three* accounts named "Roger [digit] Roger"? Because I had a disagreement with Roger 8 Roger not dissimilar to the one I had with Imzadi, in which he – Roger 8 Roger – did and said things that I did not expect and did not like. Specifically, after I made these edits to the article on Erith in Greater London, he went on that article's talk page, thanked me for those edits, then called them "distressing" and used other words which I considered very negative. I *do* appreciate that he was stating his opinions – but I'm sorry, as far as I'm concerned he went about it *completely* the wrong way. I maintain that, since he was addressing me directly, he should have stated his opinions on *my* talk page – Bluebird207's talk page – instead of the Erith one, *and* he should have known a bit better than to use very negative words like "distressing", especially after actually *thanking* me for these edits. (Even if he genuinely *was* distressed, he should have either kept this to himself or used a less negative synonym.) Anyway, another grudge was formed – and as well as creating those three similarly-named accounts, I've also taken a few pops at him anonymously – here, for instance, at a similar IP range to the one that I'm posting this latest confession from.

I also had a disagreement with Pyrope in June 2016 over edits I made to the article on the BRDC International Trophy motor race (here, here and the disagreement itself). And as far as I was concerned *there*, Pyrope was... bad, let's put it as simple as that. So a grudge there too, *and* pops taken at him anonymously as well.

And within the last year, I had a disagreement with the now-indefinitely-blocked TheAlienMan2002 over edits I made to Yardley Hastings (here and here, and you, the reader, will note another similar IP range to the one I'm posting this latest confession from). What TheAlienMan2002 said in his summaries when reverting these edits – and indeed, how he went about editing Wikipedia, seemingly picking articles to edit completely at random and not checking his summaries for typos – suggested to me a behaviour like that of some kind of robot. And let me say: when he was indefinitely blocked, I felt schadenfreude. I really am not bluffing there; I genuinely *did* feel schadenfreude when TheAlienMan2002 was indefinitely blocked.

So there you go. There's no doubt about it whatsoever. I – Bluebird207 and all those aliases – *was*, and *am*, a bad fit for Wikipedia. A *terrible* fit, even. And I have been a terrible fit for a very, *very* long time. I was a terrible fit well before I retired as Bluebird207; I may well have already been a terrible fit when I had my disagreement with Imzadi – and I may well have been a bad fit as early as June 2012, when I disagreed with the now-indefinitely-banned Oranjblud over whether or not the EWS disambiguation page should have a main link, in what was my first significant disagreement.

I have to say the following: I have Asperger's; I have OCD too (I've not actually been diagnosed with this, but I'm convinced I have it because I do a lot of things that many would consider to be signs of it); I am just not good at expecting the unexpected and sometimes I just don't react to the unexpected the right way; and also I am *extremely* sensitive – not just to things that are done but things that are said too, whether written or spoken. I absolutely do *not* intend any of these things to be excuses, and it's likely that you, the reader, will care anyway – but I've come to realize that by having *all* these things, I was probably not a good fit for Wikipedia in the first place.

If I *had* become a good fit, I'd have had to adapt quite a bit: I'd have had to be less sensitive; I'd have had to better expect the unexpected and not react to it the wrong way; I'd have had to better cope when someone did or said something that I did not like (whether that someone was a troll and/or vandal, or the polar opposite – see the next paragraph). And obviously, I'd have had to be that bit more dedicated, take it that bit more seriously, and be that bit more familiar with the many, many rules. I'm sorry, I just couldn't do that; I still can't do it; and I never will be able to do it.

And I'm kind of glad about that, because if I *had* been able to adapt and thus become a good fit, I could have ended up as the polar opposite to a troll and/or vandal – someone who takes Wikipedia *far* too seriously. I'm sorry, but while I *do* accept that editing Wikipedia is supposed to be a serious business, I have come across my fair share of editors (usually more experienced than me, i.e. they started editing before 2009) who, IMHO, take it *more* seriously than they really need to – and this manifests itself in them being blinded by power, becoming completely insensitive, and doing and saying things to other editors that some might consider bullying. And what's worse for me is that these editors have come to *not* regret being blinded by power, to *not* regret doing and saying these insensitive things that some might consider bullying, and to feel no need to apologize for any of it – *and* they can get away with it all when others can't, because they have banded together. As far as I'm concerned, that's bordering on elitism – and isn't Wikipedia supposed to be anti-elitist? Isn't it supposed to be an encyclopedia that *anyone* can edit, *not* just super-dedicated and super-serious individuals who have a tendency to be blinded by power, and to look down on anyone who isn't as dedicated and as serious as they are? I know the reaction to *this* (if, indeed, there *is* any reaction to all of this, besides just clicking on "undo" and reverting it all) will more than likely be one of contempt and disrespect – "get out of here", one might very well say, with or without a certain four-letter word beginning with 'F' – but these *are* my views, and I will *only* change them if I am well and truly convinced that I am wrong. (This probably won't happen anyway – not when *I* can't convince some of these banded-together, almost-elitist editors that *their* views and *their* ways are wrong. Obviously, I will not name these editors – but you, the reader, can probably work out who some of them are.)

Anyway. By not adapting to be a good fit, and by coming across one troll/vandal too many and (in particular) one super-serious editor too many, I've been left disillusioned by Wikipedia probably more times than is healthy for me. And this disillusionment has manifested itself in me becoming very angry, becoming really mad, losing control of myself, and wanting vengeance of some sort. Hence me taking anonymous pops at Pyrope and Roger 8 Roger, and creating those sockpuppet accounts whose names differ from Roger 8 Roger's only in the digit. And, obviously, trolling Imzadi ten years after *that* particular disagreement. (Again, the following isn't intended as an excuse and you, the reader, probably won't care anyway, but that particular disagreement *really did* come back into my conscious just like that, no obvious reason, and just wouldn't go away no matter how hard I tried. None of the other disagreements have done that.) And then when the disillusionment has passed, I've come back – either still as Bluebird207, or as Klondike53226 or whatever – only for the disillusionment to return. Then it has gone away again, and I have come back again, and then it has returned once more... something of a cycle.

So you can see that not only am I a bad, even terrible, fit for Wikipedia – but also Wikipedia is a bad fit for *me*. Whatever your reaction to all this (if you *do* react, that is, hitting "undo" nothwithstanding), you can *clearly* see – *surely* you can – that editing Wikipedia is not good for me, or my mental health. It probably wasn't good for me fifteen years ago; it almost certainly wasn't good for me ten years ago, and it *absolutely* isn't good for me now.

I certainly *do* have to get out of here – as in, I have to stop editing Wikipedia for good, I have to stop and *never* start again in any way – otherwise I'll just go on becoming disillusioned, doing stupid things (trolling, sockpuppetry or otherwise), making myself an even worse fit and persona non grata (if, indeed, I'm not persona non grata already). And I actually *want* to get out of here, too. I *don't* want to go on succumbing to the temptation to return in any way, I *don't* want to become disillusioned any more, and I *don't* want to do any more stupid things. Really, seriously, honestly, I *don't*. Really, seriously, honestly, I *do* want to get out.

I don't think it's unfair to compare this to having to give up smoking and/or alcohol. Many people like to smoke and/or drink at first (for the record, not that you, the reader, may care, I am 36 years old, and I have never started smoking or drinking and don't intend to), before eventually they come to realize that smoking and/or drinking is doing them more bad than good, and they have to stop before things get *really* bad (e.g. they develop lung cancer, they drive while drunk and run over someone, they become clinically depressed). And they *want* to stop, too. And, indeed, they *do* try to stop – whether they actually resolve to or not – but sometimes the temptation to light up a cigarette and/or crack open a beer is just too great. A *lot* of willpower is required, and sometimes they need a reminder or two too.

Well, I *have* resolved to give up editing Wikipedia for good. And I know a lot of willpower is required here, too. *And* the reminder has come in CoffeeCrumbs telling me that I was a bad fit for Wikipedia, and me completely agreeing with them. I not only hope that this confession is the very last one I make – but also that by getting these things off my chest, I *will* feel better mentally and I *will* have that bit more willpower. Once again, I know that the reaction to this (if there *is* to be one, besides reversion) will more than likely not be pleasant – anger, impatience, contempt, disrespect and coldness, rather than sympathy, compassion, tolerance, forgiveness and encouragement (and I will not ask for any of those last five things, either) – but let me honestly say, I do *not* regret making *either* of my two previous confessions (well, the same one in two different scenarios), and I do *not* regret making *this* confession either. Why should I? The *only* regret I have is that I did not realize earlier that I was a bad fit for Wikipedia, and that I only did so when I was told by CoffeeCrumbs.

I have to say that when I made my previous confessions, I was actually *very* surprised that I was not blocked in any way. That is, neither Bluebird207 was blocked, nor this IP range, 2A02:8084:F1BE:C780:0:0:0:0/64. Especially as I broke more rules when making these confessions, which I accept. Well, having made *this* particular confession (and having likely broken those additional rules again in the process), surely now there's *no* reason not to impose these blocks on me? There's *every* reason now to indefinitely block Bluebird207, to block this IP range for a very long time (i.e. years), to block the other similar ranges I've posted at? And also to confirm Klondike53226, NorthAmericanPlateNut, Roger 3 Roger and all the rest as sockpuppets of Bluebird207? Not merely suspect, but *confirm*?

If a man walked into a police station and willingly confessed, in great detail, to any or all of burglary, arson and homicide, he would surely be put in jail there and then, wouldn't he? And he'd be looking at a trial, and even greater punishment, wouldn't he? He wouldn't just be given an admonishment and told to beat it, would he?

Honestly, I feel I *can* live with seeing "Bluebird207 blocked with an expiration time of indefinite"; I feel I *can* live with seeing "Bluebird207 is confirmed to have abused multiple accounts"; and I feel I *can* live with being considered persona non grata on here. I won't be *delighted* about it, of course I won't – but I honestly *don't* think I'll feel all that bad about it, either. In fact, I might even feel *relieved* about it – it might make me feel better mentally and might give me that bit more willpower, just as I hope making this confession does. It may well be the *ultimate* confirmation that I was, and am, a bad fit for Wikipedia. You, the reader, may very well disagree – and you may very well not care, either – but I *have* come to the view that being indefinitely blocked from Wikipedia, and abusing multiple accounts, *only* means that you are a bad fit for Wikipedia, and does *not* automatically mean that you are a bad person in real life. Oranjblud and TheAlienMan2002 were both indefinitely blocked, *and* they both abused multiple accounts – and even though I had disagreements with both of them, *and* felt schadenfreude when TheAlienMan2002 was indefinitely blocked, not once have I actually considered them to be bad people in real life (but then again, it *is* highly unlikely that I *will* come across in them in real life and know that they were Oranjblud and TheAlienMan2002 respectively).

As I say, I want this to be my last and final confession, and to be the last and final time that I, Bluebird207, post at an IP address. Indeed, I want this to be the last and final edit that I, Bluebird207, ever, ever, *ever* make. And I *am* deadly serious here.

I have, in fact, already posted this confession at ANI, only to discover – after succumbing to curiosity – that it had been swiftly reverted, and no blocks had been imposed. And – surprise, surprise – I did *not* expect that, *and* I was *not* happy about it. Like, what? Confessing to breaking the rules quite a lot; breaking *more* rules in the process – and *still* no block of any kind imposed, not even any kind of block on this IP range, 2A02:8084:F1BE:C780:0:0:0:0/64? If this was the police station in my analogy above, not only would the cops *not* be admonishing the man after *his* confession – they wouldn't even be bothering to properly listen to the man in the first place. IMHO, not unlike Chief Wiggum in The Simpsons:

(Man walks in with burned clothes and playing compulsively with a lighter)
Man: I just torched a building downtown, and I'm afraid I'll do it again!
Wiggum: Yeah, right. I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter! (raises his arms, sarcastically types on air, and hums) Fruitcake!

And I have to say, this is *yet another* reason why I am a bad fit for Wikipedia and Wikipedia is a bad fit for me, and I am far better off getting out rather than staying in: I do *not* like it when rules are not enforced even when there is *every* reason to enforce them. Surely there is every reason to at least block this IP range, 2A02:8084:F1BE:C780:0:0:0:0/64, for disruption? (And there I was thinking that some of Wikipedia's rules were *very* stringent...)

Which is why I am making another resolution here. And that resolution is to (1) not look at any of the responses to this, and (2) not even look at the edit history of this talk page, or at the contributions for this IP range. Let me say once more: I know that if there *is* a reaction to this confession besides just reverting it, that reaction will more than likely be unpleasant, and I fear that if I succumb to curiosity and *do* look at these unpleasant responses, I'll be left mad and disillusioned once more, I will succumb to the temptation to edit once again in one way or another, and the cycle will resume. And, indeed, the same if this confession is just quickly reverted, and I succumb to curiosity and see the "Reverted" tag, because that has already happened.

So I am resolving, once I have posted this hopefully last and final confession for hopefully the last and final time, to leave this talk page – my old talk page – and then stay away from it altogether, and also stay away from its edit history and from the contributions for this IP range, 2A02:8084:F1BE:C780:0:0:0:0/64. And, of course, *not* succumb to curiosity. After everything that has happened, however, my expectations of seeing "Bluebird207 blocked with an expiration time of indefinite" and "Bluebird207 is confirmed to have abused multiple accounts" have decreased (as have my expectations of seeing this IP range blocked too, plus the other similar ranges).

And finally, finally, finally... while I *really do* want to get out of editing Wikipedia for good, I almost certainly *will* go on being a viewer of it, by accident as well as by design. *No-one* can disagree that Wikipedia is impossible to avoid, can they? It *is* the biggest wiki out there, the daddy of them all; it *is* the largest website besides Google, Facebook and Twitter/X; and the links to its articles *are* at or near the top of Google search results. *And* loads of people view Wikipedia without editing it, regardless whether they *can't* edit it (because they're blocked or their IP range is), they *won't* edit it (because they don't want to or simply see no reason to), or they simply *don't* edit it (it just doesn't occur to them).

And now that very definitely *is* it.

If you *have* read all of this, then however you react to it – and indeed, whether or not you revert it – merci beaucoup, muchas gracias, danke schön, go raibh míle maith agaibh, and thank you very much.

Bluebird207, a.k.a. Klondike53226, a.k.a. NorthAmericanPlateNut, a.k.a. Roger 3 Roger etc. etc. @ 2A02:8084:F1BE:C780:9443:5A4E:441B:AA0A (talk) 00:43, 8 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]