Mariah Carey

Self-nomination. This article languished until a cleanup operation initiated by user:FuriousFreddy last October, and myself and a few other editors have been working on it ever since. We've tried to incorporate comprehensive (but not excessively detailed) material on the significant aspects of Carey's life and career, and I now believe that it meets the featured article criteria. It has been the subject of two peer reviews, which can be found here and here. Special thanks to user:Rossrs for creating the sound samples. Extraordinary Machine 15:49, 7 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]

  1. She began singing at around the age of three, performed for the first time in public during elementary school, and was writing her own songs by junior high. Wrong tense of perform (tenses have to be consistent)
  2. However, Carey has never done a world tour although there are many who keep reporting that she has. Reports of this are untrue. She has only done two miniature tours; one when she debuted, and the other in the "Charmbracelet" era. Carey's stats and career are often inflated to make her look better when it is unnecessary. Carey would not have done a world tour because she is uncomfortable performing in front of large groups and her popularity is mostly in the U.S. not worldwide. Where does this part come in? There is no transition bwtn this section and the section before it, and seems out of place in tone with the article. The last two sentences esp. seem strange and looks to be vandalism. Also, if you're including it, explain the "Charmbracelet Era", or link it to another article.
  3. and CNN derisively referring to her casting as a talentless diva as "letter-perfect". Replace and with with...makes more sense.
  4. WiseGirls producer Anthony Esposito cast Carey in The Sweet Science, a film about an unknown female boxer who is recruited by a boxing manager. It never entered production, and WiseGirls went straight to cable in the U.S. This section is a little odd...it transitions to the film Sweet Science, but then there is mention of WisGirls at the end of the sentence. Maybe put the bit about the WiseGirls before the transition.
  5. and another featuring rapper Ol' Dirty Bastard which has been credited Who, not which
  6. jewellery Jewelry is spelled wrong.
  7. later that year it was announced that she had The that btwn announced and she should be cut out.
  8. She has also expressed a desire to release a perfume,and later that year it was announced that she had signed a licensing deal with the cosmetics company Elizabeth Arden to release a fragrance in 2007. This sentence doesn't read well and repeats itself.

Aside from these, it's a good article. --Osbus 01:02, 8 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]

"she is the most successful artist of the 1990s"—"was"
"is well-known for her wide vocal range and melismatic singing, despite criticisms of her voice and lyrics."—the first clause refers to specific technical matters, yet the second clause is vague. If her wide vocal range is admired, what exactly has been criticised. This is an important point; readers will want to know.
"and after a period of only minimal success"—it's awkward; what about "and after a disappointing period"
"Her moderate renown"—similar issue to the previous point; the adjective and the noun pull in opposite directions
"Carey co-wrote ... and would continue to co-write"—let's keep it in the indicative mood, rather than mixing it with the conditional ("continued to co-write" is simpler to read, and crisper).

Please find someone who's a little distant from the text to sift through it and weed out problems such as these.

Sources—query in relation to Criterion 2c: I wish that some of it didn't look so obviously like a stitching together of material from the sources. Although there are inline references, there should be quote marks around text that is lifted directly from those sources. Are they largely paraphrased or quoted??? If this is going to be an issue, I'll have to change to object, but I could be wrong here. (BTW, please don't think that other sources don't themselves need editing.)

So much is good about this article; it's worth the effort to fix it. Tony 03:56, 9 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]

I've tried to fix all of the grammar problems that you listed. I did ask somebody to give the article a copyedit during the most recent peer review, but it's changed quite a bit since then. In response to your sources query, I'm not sure if you are asking whether or not the sources were copied from, but I made sure to put it into my own words as much as possible to avoid plagiarism, and I also inserted quotation marks around text lifted directly from the sources. Extraordinary Machine 18:02, 10 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Don't take this the wrong way, but just a quick question: Have you ever supporrted a FAC? Oran e (t) (c) (e) 20:12, 13 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • With all due respect, I don't think comments like this are very productive. Extraordinary Machine 20:36, 13 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • To Tsavage: thanks. I think saying "The main criticism of [that album] was [that]" and nothing more doesn't really stand up on its own unless the statement is corroborated by quotes from actual people; I feel that readers are less likely to question the accuracy of these statements if direct quotes (or instances of paraphrasing) are included. I did try to research as much as I could about the general critical appraisals of each of Carey's albums, and then pick a quote or two that best exemplified what most reviews had said. Extraordinary Machine 20:36, 13 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]
    • I don't think there's an excess of quotes. Trying to summarize opinions generally is quite risky, and leads to bias or weasel words to avoid bias. I would actually like to see even more quotes. For instance a suggestion she has "prima donna" behaviour and acts as a "diva" was outside quotes, and wasn't attributed to a specific source in the body of the article, and a reader has to go to the footnotes to see where it was written. The casual reader (who doesn't read footnotes at the bottom) doesn't see exactly who said this (or even if that was the term used). It used the classic "alleged" weasel word. Stuff that's pure opinion usually belongs in quotations. --Rob 21:28, 13 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]
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