Comments

• "The chapters of the Japanese manga Fullmetal Alchemist are is written and illustrated [...]" - Though I realize, that other (even recently promoted) chapter lists use this wording, I still find it to be needlessly wordy.
• "As such, Edward joins the state military from his country and discovers that several of the members from the military are also wishing to get the stone."
• "Square Enix has been collecting the chapters in tankōbon format." - Also, is the tense correct? Did they stop collecting? If not, it should be "Square Enix is collecting [...]".
• "which features the first nine chapters fromof the manga"
• "and it was followed by a film sequel in 2005.
• "Viz Media beganis releasing the manga in North America." - Unless they stopped doing so.
• "[...] and volume 17 was released on October 21, 2008." - Why is that notable? It should be pointed out, that it's the most recent release.
• "In Brazil, Editora JBC is releasing the manga and has released 36 volumes, equivalent to eighteen." - This sentence is slightly confusing.

-- Goodraise (talk) 22:02, 8 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

• • Done.Tintor2 (talk) 22:35, 8 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
• "In Brazil, Editora JBC is releasing the manga and has released 36 volumes, equivalent to the first eighteen original volumes of the Japanese release."

-- Goodraise (talk) 22:45, 8 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

• DoneTintor2 (talk) 22:48, 8 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Dabomb87 (talk · contribs)

• "The plot follows the adventures of two alchemist brothers, named Edward and Alphonse Elric." No comma necessary.
• "Two alchemist brothers, Edward and Alphonse Elric, are forced to deal with a corrupt religious leader from the city of Lior. He is using a mysterious red stone which imitates the power of the coveted Philosopher's Stone in order to create "miracles"."-->Two alchemist brothers, Edward and Alphonse Elric, are forced to deal with a corrupt religious leader from the city of Lior, who is using a mysterious red stone that imitates the power of the coveted Philosopher's Stone to create "miracles".
• "As they look for the supposed Philosopher's Stone, it is revealed that they want to use it to regenerate the portions of their body they lost while attempting to revive their dead mother." Add "that" after "body".
• "Edward defeats the religious leader from Lior but discovers the stone was a fake. " Add "that" after "discovers".
• "Using his status as State Alchemist, Edward goes to several towns along with his brother to get closer to a real Philosopher's Stone, but they always end up becoming side-tracked with aiding civilians with their troubles."
• "Roy Mustang, a superior of Edward, directs the Elrics to meet with Shou Tucker, a State Alchemist that may teach them more about alchemy."-->Roy Mustang, a superior of Edward, directs the Elrics to meet with Shou Tucker, a State Alchemist who can teach them more about alchemy.
• "They move through Central" Did you mean, "They move through Central City..."?
• "They then proceed to destroy Laboratory 5,"
• "After discovering a terrifying secret behind some of the military's recent actions" "behind"-->about or that explains.
• "On their way to Dublith, the Elric brothers along with Winry Rockbell stop in a town called Rush Valley" "along"-->and.
• "As a result, the brothers were forced into a mysterious gate containing all the information of the world," "containing"-->that contained. Why the italics?
• "and he proceeds to attack Greed not allowing him time to harden his body." What is the logical connection here? Does he attack Greed because he was not allowed time to harden, or does his attack not giave Greed enough time to harden?
• "When some of their spilled blood contacts Alphonse" I don't think that "contacts" is the right word.
• "They encounter Number 66, who has broken Maria Ross out of prison, but they are discovered by Mustang" "but"-->and.
• "As Maria escapes to Xing, Edward meets a group of Ishbalans who tell him the story of Winry's parents' death." Comma before "who".
• "Edward returns to his hometown and meets with his long absent father, Hohenheim."
• "Whilethey are inside" Typo.
• "However, he then uses Lin's body to host Greed's Philosopher's Stone,"
• "coded message revealing Pride's true identity." "revealing"-->that reveals.
• "Lin goes to where Ed, and chimeras Heinkel and Darius are." No comma after "Ed".
• "In Central" Central City?
• "Al locates Hohenheim" "locates"-->finds. Dabomb87 (talk) 17:12, 14 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Done.Tintor2 (talk) 21:23, 14 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]