This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I'd like to bring it to FAC soon. Thanks! Gary King (talk) 23:50, 24 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- Only two things that I really noticed. I would try to massage the lead to make this more about being a tech demo than an additional level (since it was mainly to boast about HDR), which brings me to the second point, that I would try to see if it's possible to establish if the plot for this level is part of the HL2 story, or if it is clearly not possible to say that; you say it was a scrapped level in terms of gameplay but not for plot itself.
- You absolutely need a source about the fisherman being the first non-model character to justify the picture for it.
- On the non-vs-HDR pic, you may want to include in its description and/or caption what the reader should be looking at to compare. I can tell differences from the beach at the bottom but that's all I can readily see. (This may require a different split comparison)
- You may want to brush up all the rataionles a bit. You have 4 non-frees for a single level - and while this isn't excessive, you need to have the reasoning for them spotless to have fewer problems at FAC. --MASEM 14:05, 27 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- Masem, I bulleted your points to make it easier to read and go through. Gary King (talk) 02:32, 29 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- You're really going to have to work on your nomination statements there, Gary. Anyhow on the image front:
- You've got four fair use images. Way I see it, you can keep the logo, and maybe one other as defensible. The issue is that the images are either muddy and not high-res enough to really allow for subtle details that would distinguish this game from its predecessors. On the other hand, Image:Hl2 lostcoast fisherman.jpg doesn't show too much of the graphics technologies and is way too high resolution (man, is his hat texturing nice, though.) Considering its such a short article, I would suggest trying to find one really good image that can show multiple graphical elements; that way you can defend a higher resolution as necessary for critical commentary. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs (talk) 03:18, 29 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- Didn't you just contradict yourself by saying that none of the images were high-res enough and then saying that the fisherman one was too high res? :) Anyways, I'll remove fisherman and sanctuary and keep the comparison, which I find the most useful visually speaking for explaining the differences. I'll ask Sabre for his suggestions on other images. Gary King (talk) 03:20, 29 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- As you wish, but just see if you can get a cleaner shot :) Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs (talk) 03:40, 29 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- Given the choice, I would retain the comparison one, although I would have liked to retain the interior one as well as that also shows a whole bunch of effects that you can't get outside. As such, a combined image displaying both isn't possible. As for getting a cleaner shot, that's also not possible. The image is a straight screenshot from an official video by Valve, it doesn't come in any higher quality than that (the video's here). You can make out the essentials in it though: the blurring of the skyline from the bloom, the hot whitespots in the water, the reflections off the wet sand, etc etc, despite its slighly unwieldy low quality -- Sabre (talk) 11:56, 29 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- So you can't wrangle up someone who has the game to take some screenshots from the games and merge them? Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs (talk) 14:49, 29 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- Well, when you put it that way. I have both the game and a computer that is capable of running it all on high. I'll need a few days, haven't access to it at the moment. -- Sabre (talk) 18:12, 29 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- Ashnard comments
- "Lost Coast is designed with a" Has been? Was?
- "and consensus was that" Among whom—fans, reviewers, both?
- Should be a very brief statement explaining HL2 gameplay in lead.
- "For most of the level, the player maintains control of the player character, except for a brief moment at the beginning and end of the level." It's hard looking at this sentence end without explanation of the alternative.
- "A head-up display at the bottom of the screen shows the player's health, energy, and ammunition status, while a toggle screen shows available weapons at the top." For health and energy, surely it is the gauge/meter they are showing. Instead of specifying, this could be linked to Health (game mechanic) to save a disjointing explanation. "toggle screen" is jargon.
- I think there's a length issue with the story. As I understand it, this is the plotline of a single level. It seems to me that it has been over elaborated so that the length has semblance of that of a video game article. This section should be roughly proportionate to the length of the story, within reason. This sections seems to detail every one of Gordan's actions sequentially. Apologies if I've misinterpreted the section.
- "The first attempts at implementing HDR rendering in Source were in late 2003." Could spruce the up a little bit by writing "Valve first attempted to..". To avoid repetition, start the next sentence with "They tested ..."
- Not a fan of "allowed for", especially when repeated multiple times in one paragraph. I can spot many points in the paragraph where the same words are used repeatedly, even in the same sentence.
- "Refraction effects were also added, making light account for the physical attributes of an object, such as a stained glass window, and emulating the way light is reflected by water." A dodgy and nonsensical sentence. You could try splitting it into two. Same withy the following sentence; needs some work.
- "but was later discarded during development". Any reason?
- "Lost Coast features minor storyline details that were scrapped from". I don't think I have to say what's wrong here.
- "Valve announced on May 30, 2007 that Lost Coast, along with Half-Life 2: Deathmatch, would be made available for free to owners of ATI Radeon cards,[15] and was later released without charge to Nvidia graphics card owners along with Half-Life 2: Deathmatch, Peggle Extreme, and the first eleven levels of Portal". Awkward sentence. Starting with "and", it seems the info should be reserved as its own sentence as it reads as if this is been announced, but does not fit that concept.
- "Elliott continued by praising the game's commentary system, calling it an informative addition and enjoyed the" Strange as you're making a transition between describing his actions as a reviewer and then just describing him as a passive character, if that makes sense.
- "UGO's Nigel Grammer stated that Lost Coast considered gameplay secondary, and also voiced that the level was short." Lost Coast considered this? Secondary to what? Voiced?
- The "Reception" section is decent, although, when looking at it, it is three accounts of three reviewers' views. Can anything else be said, or found even?
- Ref 15 is missing author info.
- This is not a question about filling references, but who has written the walkthroughs sourced here?
Okay, a very solid article. I find that this article's main problem is repetition in prose, which I find is more frequent as the article progresses. The article would really benefit from added "Reception"; maybe some fan reaction? Cheers. Ashnard Talk Contribs 10:34, 6 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- All done. There isn't much else available for the Reception section, but I'll keep looking. Gary King (talk) 03:48, 7 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]