This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've gone through all sources and they should be there now. Prose might need a fix but i doubt its much. All comments welcome!
Thanks, Sandman888 (talk) 08:19, 13 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Ruhrfisch comments: I already made some peer review comments on FC Barcelona honours and am glad to see that this has been edited in line with some of those comments already. Here are some suggestions for improvement.
- I think the lead needs to do a better job of summarizing the article - currently it is very short, and mostly about the founding and the early history of the club, plus never having relegated. The lead should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article. My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way. Please see WP:LEAD
- The lead should also have an image if at all possible - perhaps one of the record-holding players?
- The introduction to the Honours section is Barcelonas first domestic trophy was the Copa del Rey which they first won in 1910. They won their first league trophy in the inaugural 1928–1929 season. From 1900 to 1941 Barcelona competed in the championship of the Catalonia region, the winners of which qualified for the Copa del Rey along with the other regional championsships.[2] The first sentence could be tightened a bit and the third sentence is also about the Copa del Rey, so I would put the current first and third sentences together. Perhaps something like to something like From 1900 to 1941 Barcelona competed in the championship of the Catalonia region, the winners of which qualified for the Copa del Rey along with the other regional championships.[2] Barcelona's first domestic trophy was the 1910 Copa del Rey. Note I fixed the lack of apostrophe and corrected a spelling error - I would also link Copa del Rey at the first instance. The sentence They won their first league trophy in the inaugural 1928–1929 season. should make it clearer that this is La Liga.
- This needs a copyedit. The text in Players could be something like As of April 2010, the club's founder, Joan Gamper, holds the record for most goals in one match, with nine scored on DATE [why not include the date?].[12] Paulino Alcántara joined Barcelona in 1912, 13 years after it was founded, and became one of the club's legends, with a record 357 goals in 357 matches. As of April 2010, Alcántara also holds the record for most goals scored for Barcelona in all competitions.[13] Barcelona has seven FIFA World Player and Ballon d'Or winners among its previous and current players, which makes it the club with most FIFA World Player awards ["received by players." - is this needed? who else can receive the award?]. WHy isn't Joan Gamper wikilinked?
- Be careful of WP:PEACOCK language - I removed "has enjoyed several of the world's greatest players" above - if you include things like that I would have a very solid ref and would prefer it be a direct quotation. Otherwise it seems to violate WP:NPOV
- Why is the explanatory text under "All-time most appearances" in italics? Please see WP:ITALIC
- Is it "Goalscorers" or "Goal scorers"? Both are used on the internet and I prefer the two word version, but am not a football expert
- References need to be consistent - Overall scorers has "Source" follwed by an external link; Goalscorers has no obvious reference(s) at all, All-time most appearances has refs in the table for each item, and at the bottom of the Honours section, there is "See also" followed by an external link. To pass FLC things need to be done consistently. My strong suspiscion is that external links are discouraged - covert these to references instead.
- Dab finder tool in the PR finds two disambiguation links.
- I still find it odd that there appear to be no book references used here whatsoever - just seems like there would be many books on such a successful team
- there are book refs, but they get outdated quickly.
- I also worry about FC Barcelona honours being a content fork of this, but will trust your explanation. I would ask one of the people who got afootball "records and statistics" article to FL or perhaps some of the reviewers of those to look at both this article and the FC Barcelona honours article and see what they think.
Hope this helps.
If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 04:25, 23 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]