This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I have made it a GA and I was wondering if there were any improvements I should make before taking it to FA?
Thanks, The C of E God Save the Queen! (talk) 09:03, 23 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Reply from Smurrayinchester
Interesting article! I did a bit of copy-editing - I think it could use a bit more work just to improve the flow of some sentences (for instance, there are some sentences where a couple of commas might help, and few "however"s that should be "but"s).
More specific comments:
- It would be good to have a more detailed citation for the point about women's football - the current citation is just a throwaway sentence in a BBC article, doesn't mention NIWFA.
- " It is not known when the official ban on Sunday football was instituted but it is known that it was created in the 1930s." I don't understand this sentence - what's the difference between "create" and "institute" here?
- " IFA Article 36.b which stated that no football would be scheduled on Sunday but matches on Sunday could be played if both teams and the organizing competition agreed" Again, it might be nice to have a better explanation of what this means - when can a match be played on a Sunday. (Also, if 36.b is still in effect, then it's "states" instead of "stated").
I hope these comments help! Smurrayinchester 10:28, 30 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
An interesting topic of which I had no knowledge before reading this. I've a few comments:
- "but was also a way to combat a perceived encroachment on their culture by Catholics": this is not expanded on anywhere in the body of the article.
- "Sport plays a significant role in national identity in Northern Ireland": needs citing.
- "However, unofficially no matches were scheduled on Sundays": does "However, unofficially matches were not scheduled on Sundays" read better?
- "ban on Sunday football was instituted but it is known that it was created in the 1930s" -> "ban on Sunday football was instituted but it is known to have been in the 1930s"?
- "The arguments in favour of the ban when was introduced are not recorded" -> "The arguments in favour of the ban when it was introduced are not recorded".
- "Before the 1982 FIFA World Cup, it was noted that Northern Ireland would play France on a Sunday": awkward phrasing.
- "As a result of this, one Christian member of the Northern Ireland team refused to play": is it worth noting the player?
- "69-28" and "91-14" should use en dashes.
- "A year later, the request was made again and members of the": this sentence could do with splitting into two.
- "Before the match there was a protest against the match": repetition.
- "from mutual agreement between nations": wouldn't associations technically be more correct than nations?
- Reference date formatting: dates should be written out, e.g. "3 March 2005" instead of "2005-03-03".
- I'd include publisher locations for books and newspapers that don't include the location in their titles.
Thanks, Mattythewhite (talk) 18:56, 6 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]