Three groomsmen stand to the left of the groom and three bridesmaids stand to the right of the bride in this wedding in Kep, Cambodia.
Three groomsmen stand to the left of the groom and three bridesmaids stand to the right of the bride in this wedding in Kep, Cambodia.

A groomsman or usher is one of the male attendants to the groom in a wedding ceremony and performs the first speech at the wedding. Usually, the groom selects close friends and relatives to serve as groomsmen, and it is considered an honor to be selected. From his groomsmen, the groom usually chooses one to serve as best man.

For a wedding with many guests, the groom may also ask other male friends and relatives to act as ushers without otherwise participating in the wedding ceremony; their sole task is ushering guests to their seats before the ceremony. Ushers may also be hired for very large weddings.

In a military officer's wedding, the roles of groomsmen are replaced by swordsmen of the sword honor guard. They are usually picked as close personal friends of the groom who have served with him. Their role includes forming the traditional saber arch for the married couple and guests to walk through.

The first recorded use of the word ‘groomsmen’, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, was as recently as 1698, although the words ‘bride’ and ‘groom’ both date back to Old English.[1]

Duties

The groom, his best man, and two ushers.
The groom, his best man, and two ushers.

The most visible duty of the groomsmen is helping guests find their places before the ceremony and to stand near the groom during the wedding ceremony.

Additionally, the groom may request other kinds of assistance, such as planning celebratory events such as a bachelor party, also called a stag-do or buck's night; helping make the wedding pleasant for guests by talking with people who are alone or dancing with unaccompanied guests or bridesmaids, if there is dancing at a wedding reception; or providing practical assistance with gifts, luggage, or unexpected complications. Groomsmen may also participate in local or regional traditions, such as decorating the newlywed couple's car.[2]

Bridegroom-men formerly had important duties. The men were called bride-knights, and represented a survival of the primitive days of marriage by capture, when a man called his friends in to assist to "lift" or kidnap the bride, or from the need to defend the bride from would-be kidnappers.[3][4][5]

Best man

"Best man" redirects here. For other uses, see Best man (disambiguation).

A best man and a maid of honour with newlyweds
A best man and a maid of honour with newlyweds

The best man is the chief assistant to the groom at a wedding. While the role is older, the earliest surviving written use of the term best man comes from 1782, observing that "best man and best maid" in the Scottish dialect are equivalent to "bride-man and bride-maid" in England.[6]

In most modern Anglophone countries, the groom extends this honor to someone who is close to him, generally a close friend or a relative (such as a sibling or cousin). When the groom wishes to give this honor to a woman, she may be termed the best woman or best person,[7] although traditionally she would still be referred to as the 'best man'. The bride's equivalent of the best man is the bridesmaid, or the maid/matron of honor. If this honoree is male, he may be called a "man of honor."[7] During a wedding ceremony the best man stands next to the groom, slightly behind him. This means that the four people present at the altar are the officiant (such as a civil celebrant, priest, rabbi, minister, or other religious figure), the bride, groom, and best man. This is common in some western countries, although in others the best man and bridesmaid participate on an equal footing.

While the best man's required duties are only those of a friend, in the context of a western white wedding, the best man will typically:

In various countries and cultures

The best man is not a universal custom.[10] Even in places where a best man is customary, the role may be quite different when compared to other areas of the world.

Bachelor party

Main article: Bachelor party

In the past, the bachelor party was typically scheduled for a convenient evening during the week before the wedding. A type of farewell dinner, it was always hosted, and therefore organized and paid for, entirely by the groom.[12] The dinner was seen as the groom's last chance to entertain his friends as a single man; after the wedding, dinner parties at his home would always be presided over by his wife in her role as hostess.

Common slang names for this event are bachelor party, stag do, or bucks' night in different parts of the world. In many areas, this dinner is now most commonly organized by the best man; the costs can be shared by either all of the participants or all of the participants except for the groom, who becomes the guest of honor.[13]

See also

References

  1. ^ "Groomsmen Gifts – History & FAQ". Retrieved 2021-08-11.((cite web)): CS1 maint: url-status (link)
  2. ^ "Wedding Cars". wedding Limo. Archived from the original on 5 March 2016. Retrieved 12 January 2016.
  3. ^ T. Sharper Knowlson (2008) [1910]. The Origins of Popular Superstitions and Customs (Forgotten Books). Forgotten Books. pp. 100–102. ISBN 978-1-60506-458-1. Archived from the original on 2010-11-11. Retrieved 2010-11-30.
  4. ^ Leopold Wagner (1995). Manners, Customs and Observances. Omnigraphics Inc. pp. 61–62. ISBN 978-1-60506-798-8.
  5. ^ Chisholm, Hugh, ed. (1911). "Bride" . Encyclopædia Britannica. Vol. 4 (11th ed.). Cambridge University Press. p. 528.
  6. ^ "Definition of Best Man at Oxford English Dictionary". Oxford University Press. The citation comes from Sir John Sinclair's Observations on the Scottish Dialect. The related term "best maid" has an earlier attestation.((cite web)): CS1 maint: postscript (link)
  7. ^ a b Warner, Diane (2004). Kate Henches (ed.). Diane Warner's Contemporary Guide to Wedding Etiquette: Advice from America's Most Trusted Wedding Expert. Franklin Lakes, NJ: Career Press. p. 39. ISBN 1564147614. Retrieved May 24, 2017.
  8. ^ "Best Man Duties". Archived from the original on 2012-11-01. Retrieved 2012-07-27. Best Man Duties
  9. ^ "Archived copy". Archived from the original on 2013-11-08. Retrieved 2013-11-06.((cite web)): CS1 maint: archived copy as title (link) Best Man Speech Examples
  10. ^ "International Wedding Customs". Archived from the original on 2008-05-03. Retrieved 2008-06-20.
  11. ^ "Essential Guide to Ukrainian Wedding Traditions!". What's On Kyiv. Retrieved 2021-01-17.((cite web)): CS1 maint: url-status (link)
  12. ^ Post, Emily (1922). Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics and at Home'. Funk & Wagnalls Company. pp. 335–337.
  13. ^ Post, Peggy (2006). Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette (5 ed.). London: Collins. pp. 183–184. ISBN 0-06-074504-5.