Hello! I'll be taking a look at this article for the January 2022 GAN backlog drive. If you haven't already signed up, please feel free to join in! Although QPQ is not required, if you're feeling generous, I also have a list of GA nominations of my own right here.
That the game took place during week eight of the 2021 FBS football season is not mentioned in the body
Done – added to first sentence of "teams" section
Link "Happy Valley" to Happy Valley (Pennsylvania) – despite living less than an hour outside of PSU, I saw the name and my mind first went to California
Done
"with each team missing" → "as both teams missed"
Done
Link touchdown and field goal upon their first mentions in the third paragraph
First sentence in the second paragraph does not specify that this was the start of the second quarter – read from the first paragraph, it would make sense, but not necessarily to a reader only looking at that para
Due to NCAA rules instituted prior to the 2021 season, the teams began alternating two-point conversion attempts, rather than drives from the 25-yard-line, starting in the third overtime (instead of the fifth overtime). Some clarity improvement required: I believe this is saying that, prior to the 2021 season, the conversions would begin after five overtimes, but now they start after only three. That took a few tries to parse out
Done – you're correct, and I reworded this to try to better reflect that
the sixth to reach at least seven overtimes Phrasing is vague; sixth in American football generally, specifically NCAA, or specifically Big Ten? Future sentences suggest the middle, but this should be clarified right away
Done – you are correct that I was referring to the NCAA, and I have clarified that.
A little more elaboration requested on why this criticism resulted; I assume that the new overtime format is what led to the length of the game, hence the critique
he was previously the head coach at Wisconsin and Arkansas before arriving at Illinois Redundant; can either take out "previously" or "before arriving at Illinois"
"Underdog Dynasty", "The Champaign Room" and "Black Shoe Diaries" are run by SBNation, which is generally considered not the best source and should be replaced with either mainstream publications or the university's post-game recaps when possible
Done – removed the first as it was the second of two citations for a single game, and the other two have been replaced.
The work in [9] (Fezler) should just be Sports Illustrated
Done
The work in [16] (Gallen) should just be The Patriot-News
Done
The work in [30] (Camenker) should be The Sporting News
Done
[2] is "CBSSports.com" but [38] is "CBS Sports"; I prefer the latter
Putting the article on hold to allow nominator to address comments. Please feel free to ping me with questions, and let me know when you're finished! — GhostRiver16:18, 9 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you for making those changes, particularly with regards to the references; I know SBNation always comes up for me when I try to work on GANs and it's a pain to find other ones. Everything looks good on my end, passing now! — GhostRiver22:38, 10 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]