Crystal Taliefero was a Music good articles nominee, but did not meet the good article criteria at the time. There may be suggestions below for improving the article. Once these issues have been addressed, the article can be renominated. Editors may also seek a reassessment of the decision if they believe there was a mistake.
Article milestones Date Process Result January 20, 2015 Good article nominee Not listed
	A fact from this article appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the "Did you know?" column on February 23, 2010. The text of the entry was: Did you know ... that Crystal Taliefero, percussionist with the Billy Joel Band, also narrates children's audiobooks?

This article is rated B-class on Wikipedia's content assessment scale. It is of interest to the following WikiProjects:

Biography: Musicians This article is within the scope of WikiProject Biography, a collaborative effort to create, develop and organize Wikipedia's articles about people. All interested editors are invited to join the project and contribute to the discussion. For instructions on how to use this banner, please refer to the documentation.BiographyWikipedia:WikiProject BiographyTemplate:WikiProject Biographybiography articles This article is supported by WikiProject Musicians. Rock music Mid‑importance This article is within the scope of WikiProject Rock music, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of Rock music on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join the discussion and see a list of open tasks.Rock musicWikipedia:WikiProject Rock musicTemplate:WikiProject Rock musicRock music articles Mid This article has been rated as Mid-importance on the project's importance scale. United States: Indiana High‑importance This article is within the scope of WikiProject United States, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of topics relating to the United States of America on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join the ongoing discussions. Template Usage Articles Requested! Become a Member Project Talk Alerts United StatesWikipedia:WikiProject United StatesTemplate:WikiProject United StatesUnited States articles High This article has been rated as High-importance on the project's importance scale. This article is supported by WikiProject Indiana (assessed as High-importance). Women in Music This article is within the scope of WikiProject Women in Music, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of Women in music on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join the discussion and see a list of open tasks.Women in MusicWikipedia:WikiProject Women in MusicTemplate:WikiProject Women in MusicWomen in music articles ??? This article has not yet received a rating on the project's importance scale.

This article is substantially duplicated by a piece in an external publication. Please do not flag this article as a copyright violation of the following source: Crystal Taliefero Biography, official site

This review is transcluded from Talk:Crystal Taliefero/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Ritchie333 (talk · contribs) 11:22, 20 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I'll give this a go. As it's been through DYK, some GA-related issues have probably already been resolved.

Lead

• I think it would be worth clarifying instruments in the lead. Is Taliefero primarily a singer and percussionist, or does she regularly swap instruments, not really being known for any one in particular?
• "Taliefero's childhood was rich of musicianship" - this could possibly be worded better, maybe "Teliefero grew up in a musical family in Indiana"?
• "Taliefero performed with a variety of notable artists" - per WP:ITSHOULDBENOTED, suggest "Teliefero performed with several artists"
• "In 1989 she was hired as a studio musician for the Billy Joel Band, and she has been touring and recording with them ever since." - suggest "Since 1989, she has been touring and recording with Billy Joel, and also ... " plus a name of some of the other artists she has worked with

Comments on the body to follow. Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 11:22, 20 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Background

• "Though born 1963 in Bourne, Massachusetts," - suggest "Crystal Taliefero was born in 1963 in Bourne, Massachusetts." - do we know her date of birth?
• "around Hammond,[3] and Gary, Indiana" - this could do with rewording, otherwise somebody unfamiliar with the town of Gary could confuse it as referring to two people
• Chicago could be wikilinked
• "Black Mist (later renamed Magic Mist)" - this is not in the source given
• "Taliefero was a member of Delta Sigma Theta sorority" - as this sentence refers to her time at Indiana University, it would probably sit better in the middle of that sentence
• The Ocala Star-Banner source says she was 18 credits short of graduation, which may be worth adding in. Also it cites her influences as Ella Fitzgerald and Aretha Franklin - again, worth putting in to beef this section up a little bit.
• This source says she performed for $20 a weekend in a nightclub aged 11

Career

• "In college Taliefero" - suggest a comma between "college" and "Taliefero"
• "which included other now-notable artists such as" - don't need "other now-notable artists such as" - if there's a blue link to their article and said article is not at AfD or tagged with ((notability)), the reader can assume they're notable
• "Saturday Night Live drummer Shawn Pelton, former Tonight Show bassist Robert Hurst, and trumpeter Chris Botti." - these names are not in the source given
• "When asked, he lent Taliefero $3000, and with that she headed to New York City to pursue more musical opportunities" - who asked? And about what? Suggest "Teliefero moved to New York City, living off a $3000 loan from Mellencamp."
• "who she has been with ever since" - suggest "and she has remained a regular contributor to Joel's work"
• "With time, Taliefero claimed the role as background vocal arranger, which she is credited with on 1993's River of Dreams" - suggest "Since 1993's River of Dreams, Taliefero has been credited as Joel's background vocal arranger"
• "backed by the Bee Gees band" - in this context, "band" is a little vague (since you can have the Bee Gees as a "band" that sing and play the odd instrument, or the Bee Gees + backing musicians given the whole line-up), maybe "backed by the Bee Gees touring band"?
• "taking a lead role in Bruce Springsteen's extensive 107-date world tour" - might be worth saying that, apart from Roy Bittan this was a new band for Springsteen, and what specifically Taliefero played. The NTY sources says she played saxophone "at one crucial moment".
• "Taliefero has performed with a wide range of other artists...." - the source also talks about her performing and providing scores for some videos, which would be worth adding. It also talks about the Taliefero Music Foundation

Musicianship

• " Rolling Stone magazine declared Taliefero the "Best Secret Weapon" " - the source here is a dead link
• I think this section would be worth expanding to show some of the critical accomplishments Taliefero has produced. For example, here Billy Joel has described her as "without a doubt the most talented multi-instrumentalist and vocal arranger I have ever worked with". The same source says she is "a magnificent vocalist and instrumentalist".

Personal life

• Why is she called "Crystal Taliefero-Pratt" now?
• I think "(her home state)" is redundant

Film and book collaborations

• Can you confirm the film and book collaborations are correct? The "source" presumably is the audiobook itself.

Summary

• This is not a bad article, I'd never heard of Crystal Taliefero before reading this, but now I'm glad I did because she sounds like a wonderfully talented musician. Unfortunately, I don't think the article as it stands meets the "broad in coverage" criteria. It's only 4K of prose. I think if you mine the sources given in the article, and look at some of the other hits a news and book search gives you, I think we'd be looking at 10 - 12K of prose, possibly more. Okay, we don't want to go overboard on detail, but I think as thing stands it's not really comprehensive enough for a GA. Sorry. But I'm happy to leave it at B-class and hope that it will pass a future review. Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 17:19, 20 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

  @Ritchie333: While I respect your decision as a reviewer, I disagree it is not broad in coverage, given the circumstances. I did thorough research and this was the best I could find, and a complete rewrite of the DYK version. The other issues you've raised above are easily addressable. Can you give some examples of information you don't see that should be there? Beyond Joel's quotes, that is? Note again she is more of a "studio" or "touring" musician, so sources of information are going to differ greatly than an established artist with a discography. Anyway, thanks for the feedback. — MusikAnimal ^talk 17:30, 20 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

The obvious things from a cursory look are birth date, how she took up music, some of the work she's done since 1993, maybe a bit more about the gear. It's not really one thing specifically, but I just found it skimping on details a bit. Okay, studio and session players aren't going to have as substantial information as major-league performers, but they do tend to have a cult following in the industry, which you can use. As an example for sources : [1], [2], [3] (this one complains about Taliefero only playing sax on "Born to Run" when touring with Springsteen, and lamenting the loss of Clarence Clemons), [4]. Lots of things to mine in Google Books. Then elsewhere there's [5], [6]. I don't think any of those sources are being used. I don't like seeing editors go away disappointed from a GA review, so fix what's been reported above, and I'll see if I can expand the article a bit myself. Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 17:43, 20 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

First off don't feel obligated to help with the expansion. The time you took to review and compile all of this valuable feedback is enough on your part! I guess I didn't do a good job with the book search. I usually use the WP-configured custom search to find reliable sources. Those I've been through. However if I go back to a non-custom search and specifically look for books, bam there's a bunch of more sources to go off of. It'll take some time but I will go through these and take what I can from them. I'm going to busy for the next few weeks, and given that a fail seems to be appropriate for now. It's just a shame as it'll be another 3 to 4 months wait before I get another review :/ Thanks for the review, and best of luck to you in the GA Cup! :) — MusikAnimal ^talk 18:29, 20 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]