Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: That Ole Cheesy Dude ^{(Talk to the hand!)} 22:49, 28 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

There are loads of prose issues, some of which will be very difficult to fix (such as confusion with Dot and Dotty)

• "after finding out that Sandy is alive." Clarify for readers, "after... her mother, Sandy, is alive"  Done MayhemMario
• "Dotty's storylines mainly involved around her father devious ways." That doesn't make sense.  Done-Dotty's storylines mainly involved around her and her father devious ways.-Better? MayhemMario
• "by believing she was suffering form dementia and later trying to poision her, so Nick could get the money from her will." Sentence needs some work, reword please.  Done-She assisted Nick in trying to kill her grandmother, Dot, by making her believe she was suffering form dementia and later trying to poision her, so they could get the money from her will. Better? MayhemMario
• "Dotty was the result of a one-night stand" That sounds horrible! Reword - she was conceived during a one-night stand or somesuch.  Done-Dotty was conceived in a one night stand between Nick and an alcoholic woman named Sandy (Caroline Pegg). -Better? MayhemMario
• to her birthday - why is her italicized?  Done MayhemMario
• "Dotty was supposed to eleven years old" supposed to be  Done MayhemMario
• They called her "angleic"? That doesn't make sense, angelic perhaps?  Done MayhemMario
• "said Dotty is one of the youngest, most wicked female soap villains." Needs quotation marks.  Done MayhemMario

General notes

• A lot of the "2008–2010" needs going over for sentence structure changes.  DoneMayhemMario
• Gah this gets confusing... with names like Dot, Dotty and Dorothy. Just do a browser search for "dot" and you'll see what I mean. It gets very difficult to read the prose and is distracting, especially for a newcomer. Make sure you clarify very clearly which is which in the first or second sentence.  Done- I've added a line in 'Backstory' saying,'Dotty was named after her grandma, Dorothy or known as Dot. '- Is this better?MayhemMario

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

   Prose needs a lot of work, see above.

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): (citations to reliable sources): (OR):

   Perfic'

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): (focused):

   Perfic'

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

   Perfic'

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

   Stable as.

6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): (appropriate use with suitable captions):

   Comments above

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

That's great work, congrats, you have a GA. That Ole Cheesy Dude ^{(Talk to the hand!)} 18:45, 29 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]