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Reviewer: Indrian (talk · contribs) 13:58, 6 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

If I don't get to this review in the next week, it probably means I died of dysentary. Indrian (talk) 13:58, 6 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

RIP. Should've stocked up on supplies. Lizard (talk) 02:06, 24 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Lol. The good news is I did not get dysentery. The bad news is a wagon wheel broke and the oxen died, so we lost some time. I will review this very soon. Indrian (talk) 02:33, 25 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Clearly you hit a blizzard because you left too late from Missouri. --Izno (talk) 14:58, 1 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Indrian: I saw you doing some copyedits; this still on your list? --PresN 16:04, 17 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

It is. I am deeply embarrassed that I committed to this review so long ago. It seems every time I prepared to get going on it, something would come up. I should have it before the end of the week. If I don't and you want to replace me as reviewer, no hard feelings at all. Indrian (talk) 21:12, 17 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Wow, so apparently I am still the reviewer of record (would have totally understood if I were not), so lets review this sucker! (Fun fact: it usually took 4 to 6 months to traverse the trail, so we still got here faster than the time it would have taken us to get to Oregon in the 1840s!)

• "The multiple games in the series are often considered to be iterations on the same title" - Just a small structure problem here: in the previous sentence you discuss spinoffs like Yukon Trail, and following this with a sentence discussing the "multiple games in the series" implies that Yukon Trail is an iteration rather than a separate title, which I do not believe was the intent.
• "The first version of the game was developed over the course of two weeks for use by Rawitsch in a history unit in Bryant Junior High School" - This is incorrect, but it is an understandable mistake due to the inconsistent and confusing reporting in the sources. As discussed in the City Pages article, Rawitsch was student teaching at a school in north Minneapolis, while Dillenberger and Heinemann were student teaching together at a school in south Minneapolis. Dillenberger and Heinemann created the game at Bryant according to the same article. The implication would be that they created it at their school rather than Rawitsch's, and, sure enough, if one looks on Google Maps, the former Bryant Junior High School is south of the center of Minneapolis. I am unsure where Rawitsch was student teaching, but it was not Bryant. This problem recurs further along in the article, so be on the lookout.

• "They are given the option to hunt for food" - We have a pronoun-antecedent problem here. The last subject noun was "supplies" in the previous sentence, so this sentence is basically saying that the supplies are given the option to hunt for food.
• "typing the word slowly results in less food being gathered than for fast typing" - Awkward construction: I would instead write something simpler saying that the faster the word is typed, the more food is gathered.
• "The game ends when the player reaches Oregon, or if they die along the trail" - This construction implies that the player has one specific avatar within the game that, if they die, ends the game. My elementary school days are far behind me so I cannot recall myself, but does the game end when the wagon leader dies, or can the rest of the party continue on until everyone is dead?

• "Prior to Rawitsch's history unit starting" - Awkward phrasing, I would go with "prior to the star of Rawitsch's history unit."
• "Rawitsch has recounted that, as only one student could use the teleprinter at one time, kept in a small room at Bryant that was formerly a janitor's closet, the students organized themselves into voting for responses and delegating students to handle hunting, following the map, and keeping track of supplies." - Not exactly, the computer room in the janitor's closet was at Bryant, which was where Heinemann and Dillenberger programmed the game. Rawitsch discusses only having access to a single teletype, but makes no mention of a janitor's closet.

That's it really. A few minor mechanics issues and one easily correctable historical inaccuracy. I think we can wrap this up before we run out of supplies, so I will put this nomination  On hold as these concerns are addressed. Indrian (talk) 21:23, 5 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Indrian: Done! To answer your question in gameplay: the concept of a "party" of multiple people was introduced in the 1985 game; I read through the 1975 source code and played it at the internet archive, and the original is just a singular "you", and while you're leading a group (and thus can circle wagons against attacks), "you" dying ends the game. --PresN 16:50, 6 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@PresN:Congratulations! You have made it to Oregon! Indrian (talk) 17:50, 6 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]