Letterpress (video game) (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)
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As of 23 January 2024, 20:56 (UTC), this page is active and open for discussion. An FAC coordinator will be responsible for closing the nomination.
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- Nominator(s): TWOrantulaTM (enter the web) 02:30, 11 January 2024 (UTC)Reply[reply]
When hearing the phrase "mobile games", you often think of tawdry knockoffs choked with blatantly inappropriate advertisements. It seems as though good mobile games are of short supply these days. But, looking far enough, past "offline" .io multiplayer games, and Homescapes-esque puzzles, you discover Letterpress, Loren Brichter's beautifully produced word game with a sleak user interface and tactical gameplay. From a simple dinner conversation, this game ended up ranking second place in the App Store's Best of 2012 list for an iPhone game. I'm very proud to nominate Letterpress as my first FA. TWOrantulaTM (enter the web) 02:30, 11 January 2024 (UTC)Reply[reply]
Aoba47
- I have two comments about this sentence: (Some called the graphics "aesthetically pleasing" with "zero clutter."). The first is that quotes should be explicitly attributed in the prose to make it clear to readers who is saying what and the second is that punctuation should be on the outside of quotation marks unless you are pulling a full quote. I would look through the article to see if there are any other instances of either and revise accordingly.
- Attributed authors. Moved punctuation for quotes.
- I would avoid the following sentence construction, (with Dellinger saying that the game had "zero clutter"). I have seen repeated notes in FACs to avoid "with X verb-ing". I do not have a strong opinion about it, but I would avoid it. I would revise this one instance, and I would look throughout the article to make sure it is not used elsewhere. Aoba47 (talk) 02:56, 12 January 2024 (UTC)Reply[reply]
- I have prose concerns about the following sentence: (After leaving Twitter, Inc. in November 2011, the founder of Atebits 2.0, Loren Brichter, began developing side projects that he had little time to work on before leaving.) It reads rather awkwardly to me, with an example of this being the repetition of the "leaving". I also think the positioning of the descriptive phrase, (the founder of Atebits 2.0), contributes to me finding the prose awkward.
- I have a similar prose concern with this sentence: (Brichter formulated the game design from Boggle, color wars, and SpellTower.) The word "formulated" seems off in this context.
- Does "created" work?
- I think something like (based the game design on ...) would be better. Aoba47 (talk) 02:52, 12 January 2024 (UTC)Reply[reply]
- For the lead's second paragraph, I do not think it is necessary to list the full dates. From the video games that I have looked at, most of them just use the month and the year for release dates. I think these more specific dates are kept for the infobox and the article itself.
- I would avoid repeating words twice in consecutive sentences, such as "developing"/"developed"/"develop" being used in three sentences in a row in the "Development and release" section.
- I am uncertain about the placement of these sentences: (Reviewers found the strategic elements of Letterpress likable. However, some criticized the absence of a single-player mode.) The paragraph goes from an overview of positive reviews right to a negative review and then back to positive reviews in a way that is rather jarring.
- This better?
- It does look better. I have never read the "Reception" section super thoroughly so I will give more comments on it after I do that. WP:RECEPTION is a great resource for writing sections like this one as a lot of editors have trouble here, myself included. Aoba47 (talk) 02:55, 12 January 2024 (UTC)Reply[reply]
- I have a comment for this part, (and would fit with "word nerds and strategy-oriented thinkers"). I would put the citation at the end of the sentence, not at the end of the quote. The current placement is rather awkward, especially since it cuts off the only remaining word in the sentence, "respectively", in an odd way.
- I would encourage you to integrate the "Awards" subsection into the overall "Reception" section as I do think having such a short subsection of two sentences is really beneficial for readers.
- Why is word game put in italics in some of the citation titles? It does not appear to be a part of the actual title. This review consistently just calls it Letterpress and the Google Play just uses Letterpress in the "About this game" section. I could be wrong, but I think the "word game" part is either just used as a descriptor or some sort of metadata tag.
- Removed as many superfluous italics as I could find.
- For Citation 6, I would more clearly identify that this is a YouTube video in the citation with the via= parameter. I would also more clearly identify the website in Citation 8.
- Why is a quote pulled out and place in the citation template for Citation 16?
- Thought it was quite hard to find. The game's barely mentioned in the article, so I decided to put the quote in. Removed.
I hope this review is helpful. I will do a more thorough read-through of the article once everything has been addressed. Best of luck with the FAC. Aoba47 (talk) 19:52, 11 January 2024 (UTC)Reply[reply]
- @Aoba47: I have addressed all your concerns. Gimme whatcha got! TWOrantulaTM (enter the web) 02:38, 12 January 2024 (UTC)Reply[reply]
- Thank you for addressing everything. I will re-read the article sometime over the weekend. Aoba47 (talk) 02:52, 12 January 2024 (UTC)Reply[reply]
- I have a comment about this part, (Being critically acclaimed for its design and strategic gameplay). I am not sure if that is really reflected in the article, which does not clearly and explicitly say "critically acclaimed". I could see some readers and reviewers finding that word choice to be too strong or it would need a source to support it. It seems reviewers praised the level design for its simplicity so I think that would be worthwhile to mention in the lead instead for further clarity. The criticism about the lack of a single-player mode should be mentioned in the lead for balance. Aoba47 (talk) 03:04, 12 January 2024 (UTC)Reply[reply]
- I would avoid linking graphics twice. Since the article is quite short, I would avoid linking items twice.
- I would avoid having "criticized" in two sentences in a row as done in the second paragraph of the "Reception" section.
- I know other editors disagree with me on this, but I never see the value of putting a rating in the prose as done here, (Rating the game 4.5 out of five stars). This information is already apparent in the table so I just do not think it adds much. However, I fully understand this is a matter of personal preference.
- I tried adding the review score for another sentence, and it sounded so awkward that I ended up removing it. Cut rating.
- Thank you for addressing everything so far. Aoba47 (talk) 21:33, 12 January 2024 (UTC)Reply[reply]
- I am not sure "intricate" is necessarily the right word here, (intricate details). I get this is seemingly addressing the "nice touches" the reviewer enjoys, but I think there is a better way to convey this information. I just think of "intricate" as being something more complicated and detailed, and I do not think that really fits here.
- Does "embellishments" work here, as in "...Friedman noticed and praised the embellishments"?
- Not really. I get the impression that the reviewer just enjoys the details in the game (like the sound effects) that make it appear more polished and complicate. I would not think of this as either intricate or embellishments as I think it is making sound fancier than it is. I think just dropping "intricate" and keeping "details" by itself would do the trick just fine. Aoba47 (talk) 19:40, 13 January 2024 (UTC)Reply[reply]
- It seems that tiles that are surrounded turn a different shade compared to the others. Is that accurate? If so, would it be notable enough to reference in the prose with an appropriate citation?
- Yes, and I believe there are a few reviews that mention this. Unfortunately, I am sleep deprived and looking at a wall of text for three hours during the night is the last thing I want to do in my life.
- That's fair. Always good to know when to step away. Aoba47 (talk) 19:40, 13 January 2024 (UTC)Reply[reply]
- Tried this.
- I would expand on this sentence: (Nelson compared it to Clear, a productivity app.) What were these comparisons? Also, is this being positioned as a positive review? If so, it should be made clearer (and no pun intended there).
- Planning to add an image of Clear if necessary.
- That would not be necessary. I think it should be more clearly explained in the prose if possible. Aoba47 (talk) 19:40, 13 January 2024 (UTC)Reply[reply]
- Just to add on to my point, when I look at the citation, it says the two games both have a "minimalist style and smooth animation" so that would be worth pointing out in the prose. The quote would not be necessary though as you could paraphrase it. Aoba47 (talk) 00:38, 14 January 2024 (UTC)Reply[reply]
- Tried this.
- I am still not sure. I do not think the prose for that sentence is the greatest, and it could benefit from further revision. Aoba47 (talk) 23:38, 14 January 2024 (UTC)Reply[reply]
I'll try waiting for other reviewers to see what they think. Tried this. TWOrantulaTM (enter the web) 23:44, 14 January 2024 (UTC)Reply[reply]
- I would go for something like (Nelson enjoyed the game's "minimalist style and smooth animation", which he compared to the productivity app Clear.) Aoba47 (talk) 00:51, 15 January 2024 (UTC)Reply[reply]
- It seems that several reviewers specifically mention the game being addictive. I think that might be worthy of highlighting in some sort of topic sentence. My biggest concern for the "Reception" section is that it can come across as quite list-y, such as the second paragraph primarily being individual sentences on individual critics and their reviews, and that can make the prose less engaging.
- For the topic sentence, I've tried this.
- It looks better, but I am still not entirely sure about the prose for this section, and I would like to see other reviewers respond to it. Aoba47 (talk) 19:40, 13 January 2024 (UTC)Reply[reply]
I hope this review is helpful. I think I would like to see how other reviewers respond to this FAC and the article in general. I do not mean that in a bad way just to be clear. I am just not as familiar with reviewing video game articles, although I wanted to help you as a first-time FAC nominator. I will keep a close eye on this nomination. I hope you have a great weekend. Aoba47 (talk) 02:16, 13 January 2024 (UTC)Reply[reply]
Vami
Will review. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 11:02, 23 January 2024 (UTC)Reply[reply]