- Oppose/Comments from KV5
- "the tour is the most well known" - well-known
- "three "Grand Tours"; the others being" - I'm really not sure about the punctuation here. I don't think the semicolon is correct, but I am totally at a loss for what to suggest.
- "in more recent years" - more recently
- "The rider with the lowest aggregate time at the end of each day wears the maillot jaune (yellow jersey).[3] The yellow jersey represents the leader of the general classification," - combine into one sentence. The rider with the lowest aggregate time at the end of each day wears the maillot jaune (yellow jersey),[3] representing the leader of the general classification.
- "there are others jerseys" - other, plus this should begin a new sentence
- "King of the Mountains classification" - since the article linked here says that it's officially called the mountains classification, that's what I would change this to, instead of WP:JARGON like King of the Mountains.
- "The race was won by Frenchmen" - Frenchman
- "He won again the next year," - de-link year, it's a stretch to link this, plus it's easily accessible from the table. Also, end with semicolon.
- "however he was disqualified" - however,
- "that had ridden in or been pulled by cars, and used the railways" - awkward wording. Consider that he had been transported by car or rail. This covers everything generally.
- "Henri Cornet after the dispute was settled, he is the youngest person to win the tour." - eh? Sentence fragment.
- "with the cyclist who had the least points" - change "who had" to having
- "1912" - comma after, plus why is this one un-linked?
- "French cyclists were successful in the early tours," - comma to semicolon
- "Belgian riders became more successful," - remove comma
- "which suspended from 1915 to 1918" - which suspended the Tour from 1915 to 1918
- "trade teams came to dominate" - what is a trade team? I have a vague idea, but the casual reader may not.
- In general, I am starting to see an overuse of the word "dominate" and its forms. Consider replacing some.
- "However when Alcyon cyclist" - comma after However
- "tour in 1929, while sick," - no comma after 1929, and consider ill instead of "sick" or replacing with the actual disease he had if a source can be found
- "to stop team tactics undermining the race" - I believe this should be from undermining, though this could be a Britishism.
- "After the Second World War, no one dominated the Tour. Louison Bobet changed that when he won three successive tours from 1953 to 1955, the first person to achieve this feat." - Consider linking these sentences differently. Perhaps After the Second World War, no one dominated the Tour until Louison Bobet; he won three successive tours from 1953 to 1955, the first person to achieve this feat.
- "Anquetil, was the first person to win five tours, his success in 1957, pre-dating his four successive triumphs." - re-word; consider Anquetil, who had previously won in 1957, became the first to win five Tours.
- "Anquetil's achievements were matched" - you need to make it clearer what achievement. Merckx didn't win five tours, and this is currently vague.
- "Merckx looked to be heading for a record sixth tour victory in 1975," - needs a ref
- "Thévenet won again in 1977, however he was eclipsed" - semicolon after 1977, and comma after however
- "fellow Frenchmen Bernard Hinault" - Frenchman
- "who won two consecutive tours" - two is extraneous, remove
- "only eleven cyclists (including Fausto Coppi, Anquetil, Hugo Koblet and Merckx)" - would put unlinked names before linked
- "In 1980, Hinault was going for a third consecutive win, but had to pull out due to tendinitis," - needs ref
- "Hinault returned in 1981 and won as he did the following year." - comma after won, and linking "year" is a stretch again
- "another Frenchmen Laurent Fignon achieved victory" - another Frenchman—Laurent Fignon—achieved victory.
- "beating Hinault, however Hinault recovered" - semicolon after first Hinault, comma after however
- "Greg LeMond became the first non-European" - where was he from? This is very notable since it took so long, so the country name should be in there somewhere. Something like American Greg LeMond or Greg LeMond, an American, became
- "becoming the first person to win five tours in a row." - you've used "in a row" twice in quick succession, change to five consecutive tours
- "1997 and 1998 respectively, however Pantani's victory" - comma after 1998, semicolon after respectively, comma after however
- "1999 saw the return of Lance Armstrong to cycling, after he had overcome testicular cancer." - 1999 saw the return of Lance Armstrong to cycling after overcoming testicular cancer.
- "Armstrong won the tour that year." - no space before ref
- "Armstrong won the tour that year. [18] Armstrong won a further six tours taking his total to seven, all of which were consecutively won. Armstrong retired after his 2005 triumph.[19]" - very wordy. Consider combining three wordy sentences thus: Armstrong won the tour that year,[18] followed by six more, for a total of seven consecutive victories, after which he retired.
- "The following year" - comma after year
- "Alberto Contador won the 2007 tour, which was also marred by doping scandals. He won in 2009." - very abrupt, and no mention of the 2008 winner.
- I appreciate the use of the colors in the key that represent the jersey colors; however, white will not fly against MediaWiki's background colors. Consider yellow or something similar.
- All "also"s in the key are extraneous.
- "king of the Mountains classification" - either King of the Mountains or king of the mountains
- I see at least one instance of slanted minute and second markers in the table; do a check.
- Country names in the table need to be written out, not abbreviated.
- I'm not sure about this I think there fine as they are personally, most people can distinguish what countries they are from the three letters. NapHit (talk) 18:38, 8 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Changed to full names now NapHit (talk) 13:50, 9 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- The "#" symbol should also be superscripted in the table.
- "Margin" needs to be explained in the key.
- It needs to be delineated in the key that the "Year" links to the corresponding Tour de France, rather than "just a year".
- In the footnotes, "performance enhancing drugs" - performance-enhancing drugs
- There are extra brackets in Ref. #3.
- I'm not sure how to fix this, it looks fine when I go to edit it. NapHit (talk) 18:38, 8 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]
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- Turned out all it was the fact, that in the format parameter I didn't capitalise pdf, it's fixed now anyway. NapHit (talk) 21:48, 10 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Neither of the navboxes currently have a direct link to this article. Either link to them in a proper place or remove the navboxes.
- Team names featuring more than one company name should use en-dashes to show disambiguation rather than hyphens. Ex: Peugeot-Wolber, Peugeot-BP-Michelin, Gitane-Campagnolo, Renault-Elf-Gitane, etc.
- I understand that this had a peer review, but due to the amount of copyediting that is needed, please consider asking for a second opinion from the WikiProject as well before the next nom. Thanks. KV5 (Talk • Phils) 23:57, 7 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Ok I think I've dealt with most of the stuf you brought I left a few comments as well, cheers. NapHit (talk) 18:38, 8 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Additional comments (KV5)
- The lead mentions is 2009 win which was with Astana. NapHit (talk) 21:48, 10 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Yes, but the history section only mentions him with Astana in 2008 and 2009. Even though he is mentioned in 2007, there's no reference of him with his team, so it's ambiguous without reading the table. KV5 (Talk • Phils) 22:09, 10 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Hopefully cleared it up now NapHit (talk) 19:35, 11 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Done NapHit (talk) 21:48, 10 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Done NapHit (talk) 21:48, 10 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]
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