Article currently at "B" level, with the intention of nominating it for GA after the peer review has finished. Thanks, Davnel03 15:13, 15 September 2007 (UTC)
The following suggestions were generated by a semi-automatic javascript program, and might not be applicable for the article in question.
You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. Thanks, DTGardner 22:03, 15 September 2007 (UTC) DTGardner Note: not much that the program came up with, very nice article, i will gladly go through it by hand if you would like, just leave a request on my talk page. once again, good work.
I just fixed some of the comma and grammar problems in the article. You want to avoid saying things like "he overcame the odds" and "this is notable" because it begins to sound weasel-y or peacock-y. Also, one more small thing...in a previous GA review (I forget which one) it was mentioned that adding parenthesis around words like kayfabe was un-encyclopedic, and that just writing out the word without the parenthesis was fine, and actually preferred...so I took those out, as well. Nikki311 19:33, 19 September 2007 (UTC)
I think the article is well-written. I do have a few thoughts, though:
(1) I split up the first sentence because I thought it was a little awkward.
(2) the reference to PPVs becoming tri-branded in the first paragraph - Nikki added an internal link to give some clarification, which helps. I might take it a step further and say "before their decision to include wrestlers from RAW, SmackDown! and ECW on all of their PPVs."
(3) I don't like passive voice, so "which was won by Lashley" sounds a little weak.
(4) Is "buyrate" considered jargon? Even if it is, the end of the sentence clarifies it pretty well, so I don't know if it's an issue.
(5) I changed "Outside of its normal broadcast" to "Outside of the weekly broadcast" because the "its" was a little vague.
(6) I don't fully understand why the main feuds on RAW and SmackDown! matter. Could a line be added to explain why this is significant?
(7) "Rob Van Dam decided to cash in this championship opportunity" sounds too in-universe...maybe the addition of "kayfabe" before "decided"?
::"Rob Van Dam was granted the storyline spot of challenger for the WWE Championship, kayfabe cashing in his MitB Opportunity." The Hybrid 22:43, 20 September 2007 (UTC)
(8) "5-on-5 Survivor Series match at Survivor Series" sounds redundant...maybe "5-on-5 match at Survivor Series"? I changed this to "5-on-5 elimination match at Survivor Series.
(9) The last two sentences in the second "Background" paragraph: I'd split up the first and make it "Meanwhile, CM Punk faced Test..." or "Later in show, CM Punk..." And I don't understand the reason for the "however" in the final sentence...could it be removed?
(10) In the sentence that begins with "Unlike the Extreme Elimination Chamber rivalry..." the word "between" seems out of place (unless I'm reading it wrong...the sentence is a little confusing).
(11) The reference to DX...is it clear enough that this is Degeneration-X? It might be.
(12) The sentence that begins with "The fans inside the James Brown Arena..." They chanted during which match? The Elimination Chamber match? If so, should this be moved to the discussion of that match? Or did the squash take place in the same arena?
(13) The sentence that begins with "When Lashley's pod opened..." There's a grammatical error in "he used the table that was with to..."
(14) Instead of "WWE.com announced", it might read better to say "WWE announced on their official website that..."
(15) Is the James Brown Arena "the building of the taping"? If so, the sentence might flow better as "Heyman had even been escorted from the James Brown Arena and sent home"
(16) Why does "pulled" have an internal link to "legit"? I don't get it. Maybe two lines later for "legitimately"?
(17) "McMahon was attempting to" might be considered weasel words or POV (or something like that...I don't speak Wikipedian).
Obviously, you're under no obligation to listen to any of this. Just my thoughts, but again, the article's great. I'm just picky. GaryColemanFan 20:24, 19 September 2007 (UTC)