Sasha (DJ)

[edit]

This has previously undergone an Peer Review here and two failed FACs here and here. It has since received copyediting from User:Coil00 and fmt-d by User:Heaven's Wrath (much thanks, guys!). I was hoping I could get some feedback as to whether or not this would pass FAC now - I'd rather not nominate it and have it fail a third time :(. Any comments feedback would be great! (especially regarding wording and language) Thanks! Wickethewok 22:25, 3 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

"During the months leading up to his April 1994 departure from Renaissance, Sasha first partnered with fellow resident DJ John Digweed, who had been DJ-ing for ten years previous to gaining residency at Renaissance."

The puncuation implies that the three facts are connected, and lead from each other, but this is not really the case. Similar problems occur a number of times in the article, however they're easily fixed by breaking down the sentences. You do need to go through the entire text and weed these out, but once that's done, you there I reckon. Best of luck with it, it'd be great to finally see a DJ make FA. - Coil00 20:43, 4 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]