The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Promoted EyeSerene^talk 08:26, 5 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Nominator(s): Ian Rose (talk)

Just to show that not every RAAF bio I write is for a flyboy, say hello to the organisation's top supply officer for 20-odd years, a veteran of the Australian Flying Corps who became one of the earliest recruits to the Air Force in 1921, and died in harness 30 years later. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 15:39, 25 November 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

• What's a Merit certificate?
  • I can't tell you exactly, some ancient Australian school certificate, but it sounded good. Have also seen it referred to as certificate of merit -- would that be an improvement?
• Might be worth adding a parenthetical explaining "Imperial Gift"
  • Okay, will see.
• How Not to Run and Air Force? Nikkimaria (talk) 01:43, 26 November 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Oops, tks! Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 01:54, 26 November 2011 (UTC)[reply]

• Support More great work Ian. I have quite a few comments, but they're all minor and I think that this article is already across the A-class line:
  • "he rose to become " - 'he was promoted to became' or similar perhaps?
    • Well one usually says simply "rose to" but I think "rose to become" is also okay. Can't really say "promoted to" because "chief logistics officer" wasn't an actual position.
      • Fair enough. I imagine that his roles are now filled by several Air Vice Marshals and senior public servants in the Defence Material Organisation ;) Nick-D (talk) 06:19, 27 November 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Merit certificate" - should the 'c' be capitalised, or the 'm' lower case? I don't know what this kind of qualification is either, but they seem to have handed out all kinds of strange-sounding qualifications in schools during this era. I suspect that it's something like a 'leaving certificate' which attested to having completed the amount of secondary education needed to move into an apprenticeship.
    • Heh, I haven't heard back from Nikki yet on "certificate of merit" but I will change the "M" to lower case for the moment, at least.
  • "after its capture by the Allies" - 'Allies' isn't a common term used for World War I forces, and I think that only British Empire forces were in this theater.
    • Yep, British and Indian but "British Empire" works also; there are two refs to "Aliies" re. Kut so I might work in both variations...
  • "With the dispersement of Australian members of No. 30 Squadron" - needs a 'the' between 'of' and 'Australian'
    • There are times when the definite article isn't necessary and I felt this was one, however I may reprhase it anyway.
  • "Following the end of hostilities, Mackinolty became wholly or jointly (with the Business and Finance Members of the Air Board) responsible for disposing of surplus equipment up to an original value of £10,000." - this is a bit confusing - how could he 'wholly or jointly' do the same job? (eg, did he actually have the authority to do this by himself, or could he only do it with the other members of the board?).
    • Yep, fair enough, that was trying to simplify something that wasn't really so complicated anyway, namely that he was wholly responsible for equipment up to a certain value (£500 from memory, will check) and jointly responsible for stuff £500-10,000.
      • Sounds good. Nick-D (talk) 06:19, 27 November 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The following month he was given command of an aircraft repair unit in Gloucestershire." - the ADB entry says that this was at Minchinhampton, which was one of the AFC's main bases in England. It seems worthwhile to include this as it must have been an important job.
    • Wasn't it HQ for 1st Training Wing AFC? If so I'd certainly work that in...
      • Yes, that's correct. Two of the wing's four squadrons were also based there. Nick-D (talk) 06:19, 27 November 2011 (UTC)[reply]
        • Actually looks like Tetbury was the HQ, but I did include Minchinhampton and its Training Wing connection. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 11:36, 27 November 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ashworth (p. 123) notes that Mackinolty was promoted over more senior officers during the lead up (and early years?) of World War II as an example of merit-based promotions in the RAAF - is this worth including in the article?
    • Could do, but I don't think I've seen that observation anywhere else and felt that one comment from Ashworth was enough (and I think the other one was more intriguing)!
  • Spot checks of the ADB entry, Ashworth and Gillison found no problems with errors or close paraphrasing. Nick-D (talk) 11:01, 26 November 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    • Many tks mate. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 06:10, 27 November 2011 (UTC)[reply]
      • Think those are pretty well all covered now -- done in a slight hurry so don't hesitate to let me know if you think the wording could be improved... ;-) Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 11:36, 27 November 2011 (UTC)[reply]

CommentsSupport Another blue orchid, although not a flyboy. can I nominate more? I'd still like to see Dale and Mustard. Anyway, some comments:

• My notes have RMS Persia departing on 10 August, but meh
  • Oops, so do mine...
• splitting the logistical functions of the Air Board in this manner appeared to be a "uniquely Australian" experiment The problem here is that it all seems very familiar... perhaps because it's the Army's system, with a Master General of the Ordnance and the Quartermaster General on the Military Board.
  • I gather that's an observation rather than a request for action... ;-)
• Is one sentence all that can be said about his work in World War II?
  • Surprisingly, that's about the size of it. I mean we have a decent-sized paragraph on WWII but it's more about the positions he held rather than what he actually did, and this is after searching the home front, as well as the RAAF, official history volumes, plus the Air Power Development Centre, plus GoogleBooks and Amazon. On top of all that the NAA has only digitised his AIF record. The one thing I did discover was that he supported a move to improve WAAAF accommodation in Victoria but since Drakeford didn't agree to it anyway I didn't think it was really worth mentioning...
• subsequently organised for the RAAF to assume Perhaps arranged for the RAAF would read better
  • Yep, sounds better.
• You can link Springvale Botanical Cemetery instead of the suburb
  • Ta for that.

Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:45, 11 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Tks for reviewing, mate. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 07:14, 12 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

• Support
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  • All major points appear to be covered without unnecessary detail.
  • Overall, this is a well written and engaging biography and I can find little, if anything, to fault it. Well done. Anotherclown (talk) 08:56, 14 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    • Much appreciated, AC. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 09:19, 14 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

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The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page, such as the current discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.