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Reviewer: Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk · contribs) 13:17, 4 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take a look at this shortly. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 13:17, 4 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• The only duplicated link is DSO in the lede, which can probably be kept
• No edit wars
• Image is correctly licenced
• Earwig reports copyvio unlikely

• Suggest adding his middle name to the lede

• Done. Zawed (talk) 06:39, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• Move night-fighter link to first mention in lede

• Done. Zawed (talk) 06:39, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• Link sortie

• Done. Zawed (talk) 06:39, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• Suggest adding how/when he got the DFC to the lede

• Done. Zawed (talk) 07:31, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• Service number can be added to infobox from London Gazette

• Done. Zawed (talk) 06:39, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• Ref. #4 seems to link to the wrong newspaper article, it discusses his DFC not his education

• It's easy to miss, but it is near the end of the article (3rd para from the bottom). Zawed (talk) 06:42, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• Can you provide any dates for the education?

• No, the only source for the education only identifies the schools, not the years attended. Zawed (talk) 06:42, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• "Jameson received his flight training"

• Done. Zawed (talk) 06:59, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• Link flying ace

• Done. Zawed (talk) 06:59, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• "Posted to No. 125 Squadron" based where?

• Have added. Zawed (talk) 06:59, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• "in November he was awarded..." this sentence needs a rejig, doesn't work later on

• Oops, sorted. Zawed (talk) 06:59, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• "with the assistance of radar Jameson shot up"

• Done. Zawed (talk) 06:59, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• How exactly is radar helping him shoot an aircraft engine? Did it perhaps tell him where the aircraft was?

• Have rephrased this. Zawed (talk) 06:59, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• "flying operations"?

• Done. Zawed (talk) 06:59, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• Do we know which OTU it was?

• No, the source only gives the briefest of details. Zawed (talk) 08:15, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• A more particular date would be useful for the OTU, you've leaving me to guess anywhere between February and December!

• Again, minimal detail from the source on this. Zawed (talk) 08:15, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• "Norman Crookes" give Crookes his rank if possible - would be useful to mention somewhere that both his planes are double seaters

• Rank added and mention of the Mosquito being a two-seater added. Zawed (talk) 06:59, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• "Crooks combined" sp?

• Rephrased. Zawed (talk) 08:15, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• "A Ju 88 was destroyed" this doesn't actually make it clear that Jameson was the one to do the destroying

• Rephrased Zawed (talk) 08:15, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• Link anti-aircraft gun

• Done. Zawed (talk) 08:15, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• Temporary situation or temporary station?

• Whoops, should be station. Fixed. Zawed (talk) 08:15, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• "This second Ju 88" technically this is the third Ju 88

• It was meant in the context of the second actually detsroyed, but regardless I have rephrased this. Zawed (talk) 08:15, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• Link sortie

• Done. Zawed (talk) 08:15, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• "he was able to score hits"

• The number of times I have read this, you think I would have spotted this missing word...fixed. Zawed (talk) 08:15, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• Link cockpit

• Done. Zawed (talk) 08:15, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• "a Ju 88 was destroyed over Avranches" again, not made clear this is Jameson's work

• Rephrased. Zawed (talk) 08:15, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• "September 1944" repeated year

• Deleted. Zawed (talk) 08:15, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• "The same month..." too much "sortie" in this sentence!

• Done. Zawed (talk) 08:15, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• Give the acres number a conversion, probably to hectares?

• Done. Zawed (talk) 08:15, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• "memorabilia" seems a little tacky, could you describe it better?

• How about wartime effects? Zawed (talk) 08:15, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• Repeat earlier cmt about ref. #4

• Discussed above. Zawed (talk) 07:00, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• Other references look ok, AGF with print sources

@Zawed: Hi, that's all I have for now. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 20:38, 9 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Pickersgill-Cunliffe thanks for the detailed review, I have responded to your various comments as above. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 08:15, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Zawed: Edits look good. A few final points:

• Link Flying Officer

• Done on first mention. Zawed (talk) 21:46, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• Either "two-seater De Havilland Mosquitos" or "the two-seater De Havilland Mosquito"

• Went with the latter. Zawed (talk) 21:46, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• You don't mention any of his ranks before flight lieutenant, it would be useful if you can provide at least one of them

• I've added his rank at the time of the DFC being awarded since the preamble to LG citation refers to this. Unfortunately, I don't know when he was commissioned as a pilot officer. Zawed (talk) 21:46, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

That's all I've got. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 19:52, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, responded as above. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 21:46, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Zawed: Passing this article as satisfying the GA criteria. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 01:51, 11 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]