Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: DannyMusicEditor (talk · contribs) 18:35, 10 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this one for my buddy Yeepsi here. Although I was never a fan of this album, I did end up liking TBS later on and I know they're an emo/pop punk icon. I have made one edit to the article about two months ago if I remember correctly, but nothing major enough to get in the way of the GA review rules. Coming soon. dannymusiceditor ^{Speak up!} 18:35, 10 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for taking this! Yeepsi (talk) 18:39, 10 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Yeepsi: If I stop and don't do anything with this review for more than five days, please ping me. dannymusiceditor ^{Speak up!} 22:12, 12 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

At the beginning of the review, this is how it stood.

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

   Specifically word choice.

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

   Not really any images you can use for albums, and the image that is used has rationale for fair use.

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

However, these all were resolved.

• Honestly, I think the genres in the infobox would look better in an hlist or flatlist format.
• Link Big Blue Meenie Recording Studio in the infobox (idk if that's actually the page title).
• Link the members in the second sentence.
• Taking Back Sunday released a five-song demo in early 2001 before touring for most of the year. I honestly don't like the way the copyeditor wrote this one. How about ...in early 2001, after which, they toured for most of the year. You know, whatever. Do what you'd like with this one.
• They rented a room in Lindenhurst, New York, where they wrote and recorded songs. Songs for the album, I assume?
• In the second paragraph, you go from December 2002 ("Cute Without the E") and touring in summer 2003 back in time to November 2002 with "You're So Last Summer". Chronological order, please.
• mostly positive, not mostly-positive (I'd have struck a line through it but it's a hyphen and that'd have been confusing)
• Note how many shipments in the US gold certifies after you mention it.
• as a result of the anniversary tour Still not liking that. How about "The band played an acoustic set on the anniversary tour, which was..." you get the idea.

 Done all above. Yeepsi (talk) 23:17, 12 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

• At a party, Nolan reportedly romanced Lacey's girlfriend and Lacey left the band. and, after which
• The mention of where Lazzara's hometown is comes too late. It should be how he moved from North Carolina to New York.
• Are you able to give me any details on the relationship between Lazzara and Lacey? According to this source that you used, the two had a beef with each other that caused a rivalry between Brand New and TBS. But then again, it just might be misrepping Lazzara for Nolan, who I did see you mention previously.

I found this from OC Weekly: ""I think Jesse Lacey is just a dick," he says. "He just sucks. He's not a good person."" Apart from that I couldn't turn up anything else. Yeepsi (talk) 23:33, 12 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Good enough for me. Write something about how Jesse also had a problem with Adam and it inspired a rivalry between the bands. dannymusiceditor ^{Speak up!} 16:00, 13 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

• O'Connell, a friend of Reyes, heard about the vacancy and joined the group. Who's O'Connell?
• DeJoseph left, leaving the band without a drummer. When? (And there's no source for his departure, though I guess it can be assumed because the source at the sentence's end says "they were in need of a drummer" and DeJoseph has been proven to have been a part of the band.)

I don't have a source of DeJoseph leaving (or when he left, for that matter), unfortunately. Should I remove the sentence? Yeepsi (talk) 21:31, 14 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Whatever, I guess I can live with it. dannymusiceditor ^{Speak up!} 18:32, 16 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

• You should say that Lazzara switched from bass to lead vocals.

 Done all above apart from the DeJoseph part. Yeepsi (talk) 21:31, 14 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Ugh. Did the copyeditor write all this? I have a problem with almost every sentence.

• Neil Rubenstein, who later became the group's tour manager, would often find them composing songs with acoustic guitars.
• Link Lindenhurst, New York
• their first song was "Great Romances of the 20th Century". First song written? Completed? What? Their first song what?
• The band was frequently recorded demos at this time, and wrote all their material. It's unclear and possibly wrong towards the end, and it's just grammatically incorrect at the beginning of the sentence. The lyrics were written by only two members; the band wrote the music together. So fix grammar and say how they wrote all their music together.
• Many songs feature Lazzara and Nolan in call-and-response vocals. You can't be in vocals, but you can use them.
• Link Victory Records
• Their lyrics, written by Adam Lazzara and John Nolan, Additionally, remove their first names.
• Okay, I know I gave you sourcing advice, but a source must always come after a quote, no matter what. Tricky rules, I know.
• "Great Romances of the 20th Century" includes a sample from the film, Beautiful Girls (1996). So is this a lyrical reference or an audio sample?
• Rewrite the following sentence. I'd suggest: ((xt|Lazzara said "The Blue Channel" and "Head Club" were songs that the band used "to get enough songs to fill a record so we could go on tour".
• No comma necessary in the following sentence.
• When they listened to these guys, they were searching for influence. I'd say it's safe to call it influence in this case. So you could say they were influenced by them during production.

 Done all above. Yeepsi (talk) 22:05, 16 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

• It was recorded in December 2001... Address "It" by name here.
• Link Big Blue Meenie Recording Studio and Sal Villanueva
• Same thing about the "are you kidding" quote source
• That footnote about "Your Own Disaster" doesn't need to be a footnote.
• The Cooper quote is okay in this case, since it's not the end of the sentence. But sometimes you will need one even if it's not over yet.

 Done all above. Yeepsi (talk) 22:09, 16 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

• Release date: I guess I don't mind the two references there, but please order them numerically as currently it says [25][24]. Also don't see the point of the footnote.

It's the Country of release / Record label / Catalogue number. I've seen it done for The Division Bell (GA) and The Dark Side of the Moon (FA). I'll ditch it if you insist. Yeepsi (talk) 22:27, 16 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

If the FA has it, then I guess I'll roll with it (though it's not in my idea of one). dannymusiceditor ^{Speak up!} 01:30, 17 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

• Missing a verb in the next sentence. Its cover art done was by John Clark or better.
• To promote the album, Victory founder Tony Brummel decided to target people familiar with the label and emo. I feel like this flows poorly. Mess around with it, and if I still don't like it, I'll put up suggestions. Maybe those who were fans of emo?

How does this sound: "To promote the album, Victory founder Tony Brummel targeted people who were familiar with the label and also fans of emo."? Yeepsi (talk) 22:27, 16 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Good enough for me! dannymusiceditor ^{Speak up!} 01:26, 17 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

• A Yahoo! Group with over 1,300 fans allowed them to download demos of "Bike Scene" and "Head Club", a tactic which was hoped would increase sales. Emo fans or early TBS fans?
• Actually, I have no complaints about the rest of this section.

 Done all apart from two. Yeepsi (talk) 22:27, 16 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Kudos to you for fixing that other stuff I didn't notice! I was sure those didn't have pages, guess I should be more careful. dannymusiceditor ^{Speak up!} 02:16, 17 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

• Critical response has no issues.
• One number problem in Commercial performance - around April 2004. And one optional idea for flow - expand the sentence after 790,000 to include Victory's best selling record, and make the chart feat separate.
• Accolades, retrospective reviews and legacy:
• [t]he 'Hybrid Theory' of emo. Since nobody (surprisingly) got that, I'll be the one to point out that 'Hybrid Theory' is a Linkin Park reference, and comparing anything to it is towards the highest in 2000s rock praise. If you haven't heard it, might as well check it out - it's the most successful American metal album in the millennium (it's a Diamond album in the US). In case you haven't figured out what I want yet, link and italicize Hybrid Theory.

I've heard the singles from it, but not got round to hearing the whole album yet. Yeepsi (talk) 11:56, 17 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

• Stylus Magazine needs referenced in the prose.

 Done all above. Yeepsi (talk) 11:56, 17 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Review completed! Everything else looks great! dannymusiceditor ^{Speak up!} 02:16, 17 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

With that, I'll Pass! Congratulations! dannymusiceditor ^{Speak up!} 13:45, 17 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]