Wow[edit]

I'm really surprised a The Saturdays article has this much info! I wasn't expecting this, I hope someone c/e it and makes it a GA. Calvin NaNaNaC'mon! 16:39, 12 October 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks! I wrote all of this page myself, it is one of my proudest creations, along with "All Fired Up" so I do hope it gets GA. ƒɾɛɛᴅᴑᴍºᵀᴬᴸᴷ 13:25, 16 October 2011 (UTC)[reply]
You're welcome. I'm please The Saturdays have someone who will make their articles credible, they are a great group. (Link On Your Radar in the first sentence of thee "All Fired Up" article and put "(2011)" after it, like We Found Love for example. Calvin NaNaNaC'mon! 23:55, 18 October 2011 (UTC)[reply]

the article is way too big for an album the has been a complete flop — Preceding unsigned comment added by 65.255.37.250 (talk) 17:29, 25 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]

How is not possible for an artical have good information and be a flop? Just because the album was a flop does not mean the artical has to be one too. --ᶛᵃʳᵏ ˢͪᵃᵈᵒʷᵀᴬᴸᴷ 21:42, 11 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Personnel[edit]

The Personnel section was obviously copied from somewhere ("Headlines"??) and is not the correct one for "On Your Radar"! Please someone edit that! — Preceding unsigned comment added by 188.97.135.156 (talk) 00:39, 25 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Requested move[edit]

The following discussion is an archived discussion of a requested move. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made in a new section on the talk page. Editors desiring to contest the closing decision should consider a move review. No further edits should be made to this section.

The result of the move request was: album promoted to primary topic and dab page replaced with hatnote. Favonian (talk) 19:06, 11 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]


A Google search for "on your radar luigi masi" produces less than 16,000 results, whilst a Google search for "on your radar the saturdays" produces over 9 million results. Wikitraffic also shows that this page was viewed 3,542 times last month, the other page just 23 Unreal7 (talk) 14:25, 4 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive of a requested move. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made in a new section on this talk page or in a move review. No further edits should be made to this section.

GA Review[edit]

This review is transcluded from Talk:On Your Radar/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: DecrepitlyOnward (talk · contribs) 04:32, 2 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

I should finish reviewing this within the next three days. I do note that the nominator has not made significant contributions to the article and should be prepared to do so. DecrepitlyOnward (talk) 04:32, 2 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]


GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

This is the initial list--this article just needs a heavy dose of copyediting

  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

DecrepitlyOnward (talk) 06:25, 2 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Background and development

First para

This sentence can be abridged and more specific: something more like "The Saturdays' EP Headlines served as a bridge between their 2009 album Wordshaker and their then-upcoming album."
Again this sentence can be chopped, and "announced" is redundant; something more like "The band desired to take risks and Mollie King declared their new sound as "dance floor music" during the recording process." Also you need to state exactly who Mollie King is.
Again, state who Una Healy is. Dance music should not be capitalized. Also, this is talking about the track "Notorious," so it reads a bit awkward
The second sentence is redundant, and so is the quote that follows this--the quote can be removed, though you can take a second look
If this is from the same interview, it needs a citation at the end

Second para

This sentence could be reduced a bit: "Rochelle Humes, during the Headlines tour in February 2011, confirmed that the band..." Also, "write and produce a smash hit" seems inappropriate--would something more like "the band choose him because of his work with Tinie Tempah" or "his successful work with Tinie Tempah" be better?
This is redundant and awkward--I'd prefer "The band also chose to work with Alphabeat"
The use of confirmed is still redundant, and could be rephrased--it can be combined with the previous sentence
Again, the use of the phrase "smash hits" is inappropriate, and the use of "confirmed" is redundant.
Not "a song," it's "the album track." Redundant use of "confirmed."
I'm assuming this is referring to the aforementioned tweet, which makes this sentence redundant as the tweet was already discussed.
Again, "confirmed." You could use "reported that".
What is notable about the first sentence? Also, the quote should be paraphrased.
This should be rewritten. For the last two bullet points, for example: "The band had written songs in studio and remote environments, and sometimes spent entire days writing lyrics." Also, the mention about May 2011 should be "the band had written eight songs by..." not how it currently is.
"A hit," again, is inappropriate. This should be rephrased.
This should not be included here; rather, this should be include along with the information about the personnel.
This is an unnecessary sentence and should be updated; if it is updated, it should be included in the "Release" section.
You might need to rewrite this paragraph to include all of the personnel they worked with in fewer sentences. Also, what were the roles of these personnel? The roles need to be described. — Preceding unsigned comment added by DecrepitlyOnward (talkcontribs) 05:35, 2 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Third para

These aren't just the band's songs, these are songs on the album. The last 2 sentences can be combined. Also, is this the appropriate section for these sentences?
These have already been mentioned in previous paragraphs and this might need to be rewritten along with the second paragraph to ensure a correct flow.
Is the mention of the bandmates's boyfriends really necessary? Also, the band didn't "reveal" this, they stated this.
Part of this seems like it should be in quotes. White being the only single member of the band doesn't seem significant. Also, the influence of dance music has already been discussed, and these redundant sentences should be merged with the previous mention of the influence of dance music. This can be paraphrased.
This can also be paraphrased, and the quote is unnecessary: just at least straight up say that the band had pretty much finished finished the album in September 2011.
I'm genuinely not sure if this belongs here or in the release section, but the following sentences definitely don't belong in this section. The sentences after this one might need to be deleted--I don't think that they fit anywhere in this article. If they do, a citation is needed at the last sentence, which would be this one:
"After Una Healy announced her pregnancy, fans thought that On Your Radar would be the last album from the band. However they stated they would not split and Healy still had full commitment to the band."

Overall, the first section contains paragraphs that are far too long and have bad flow, and it needs to be rewritten. Saving now DecrepitlyOnward (talk) 06:06, 2 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Artwork and titling

This is a very interesting detail about the artwork that should be included. But the quote should be paraphrased, and the third sentence should be rephrased to more directly say why they chose to be naked for the album cover; the first two sentences can be combined.
This can be combined with a previous sentence, and the ", with" part can be replaced with "against"
Who is Zip, a design studio or a person? Use "and" instead of "which"
This is a far more easier paragraph to fix. I think this a good time to note that I'm not all too familiar with British English, but (hopefully) I don't think I've written anything incorrectly.

Composition and recording

First para

This needs copyediting, something more like "The album's lead single "Notorious" was produced by Steve Mac. It has been described as sounding similar to The Black Eyed Peas and Rihanna."
This phrase is unnecessary.
These sentences are unnecessary.
This should be more like, "Vanessa White, however, stated that the whole album would not be like the lead single."
This can be rewritten: "The band was picking their best songs from a large list"
This can be rewritten and included in the previous sentence: "and Una Healy of the band considered their upcoming album a "step up from the last album but we’ll keep it The Saturdays-esque.""
The last sentence is redundant since we already talked about how Healy called the album a departure. The sentence "She said that there are many different styles on the album, and they have records a fair few ballads" is confusing--it should be "recorded" instead of "records;" I'll try to rewrite this
"Rochelle Humes reaffirmed that the album would not sound like "Notorious," and the album would have a diverse amount of styles including ballads.
This sentence might be unnecessary.
Say "groups of two or three," and say that the album was inspired by drama surrounding the individual members-this honestly all could be reduced to one short sentence
This sentence is unnecessary; we've already talked about this
Rephrase--"The band indicated that the music they would be releasing would be contemporary."
This sentence might be unnecessary, because we have mentioned that they would have an "original sound" on their then-upcoming album.

Overall, this first paragraph needs a ton of chopping. It makes sense, since most of the composition paragraphs I've read (like Paramore) are short and sweet. This section needs to additionally include how critics described the sound of the album, which will require a bit of work. This might be written later in the article, however, so if I get to it I'll say to include it in this section.

Second para

"The band was recording at Dean Street Studios in London and Tracklacers studios in Kent." Kent should be hyperlinked.
We've already talked about this--this sentence can be removed
We've already talked about this, but the "still have their pop edge" part might be useful to keep. This is up to you.
The part after the comma is unnecessary. This should be more like "The band recorded their music to reflect their sound live"
Unnecessary sentence
Rewrite: "According to Mollie King, the band was influenced by Britney Spears' dance-pop, Adele, and Jon Mayer's pop rock, and the dance style of Rihanna and Katy Perry." (You might want to reread the source to make the "dance style" phrase more specific)
Rewrite "The band also said that their album is club-influenced and the lyrics are feminist in nature."
Are these sentences necessary?
This should be rewritten but I'm not sure how--once the whole paragraph is rewritten, I'll leave it to your judgement if this sentence is necessary to not.
Unnecessary sentence
Rephrase: "All Fired Up" showcased the band's shift to dance music, and was described as "Ibiza closing party meets Miami poolside rave."" Though I'm not even sure if the quote is necessary.

Overall, this section also needs a lot of rewriting, and will be far shorter afterward. Saving now DecrepitlyOnward (talk) 18:17, 2 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Music and Lyrics

First para

Rewrite: "The lead single for the album, Notorious, was compared to Rihanna, The Black Eyed Peas, and Kelis. It features a chorus with only the backing beat and the band member's voices."
Rewrite: "The second single "All Fired Up" is a dance-pop song, which was compared to Lady Gaga and David Guetta."
We've already talked about this, so this sentence is redundant
Paraphrase this--something like "The song also has a heavily synthesised intro with hazy vocals delivered by Vanessa White."
Paraphrase--something like "it diverges from previous songs by the band with its electro-pop sound," might be redundant since we already talked about dance pop
Probably unnecessary. Also, we shouldn't mention comments that the band made pre-release as it does not belong in this section.
Also probably unnecessary.

Second para

We talked about this in the second paragraph of the composition section; that part of the composition section can be combined with these sentences. Nevertheless, this needs to be rephrased: "The band wrote lyrics based on current and past relationships that each member was in, with Una Healy stating that she took influence from "crap things" her "bad boyfriends" did.
Mention who Emeli Sandé is, and rephrase: "Emeli Sandé wrote a track for the album which was described as a dark and strong ballad."
I forgot to put this in the composition section, but you should hyperlink the word "ballad" in that section to its Wikipedia article.
Merge this with the previous sentence.
This is more detail. This was mentioned in the composition section--the two respective sentences should be merged.
Comment: The composition section is supposed to include details about the composition of the album, not about the songwriting process-the same applies with the whole article. There are a ton of details about the songwriting process in this article that don't belong, so if you want you can create a section that details the songwriting process and include everything about songwriting in the entire article in that section. This is made more necessary because, at this point right now, the article reads as if it is talking about an album that hasn't been released yet.
Remove this sentence as the article talks about a "song they wished was a Saturdays single."
Rephrase or remove; if you rephrase, something like "The album also contains more emotional songs"
Rephrase: "Madonna and Jay-Z were also cited as influences."
For this paragraph, see the comment I wrote above.

Quote

The quote is unnecessary as it has been quoted numerous times above, but the fact that "Forever Is Over was pop-rock almost" can be included in a potential songwriting section.

Third para

See sources section below. This needs to be more descriptive.
This detail is unnecessary--just say that the band instantly enjoyed the song
Just say King described the song as a "roadtrip" song
This should be included with the first sentence about Travie McCoy
Just say ""Faster" contains romantic lyrics with an uptempo dance beat, and a pop edge."
Rewrite: The band co-wrote "For Myself" with Viktoria Hansen, and the song is about a turbulent relationship.
Rewrite: ""White Lies" links the album back to the band's debut studio album Chasing Lights." There's no need to include years in album mentions.
Rewrite: ""Wish I Didn't Know" is a pop ballad that discusses feelings and persistent love [maybe awkward word choice] towards an ex." This should not be conversational
Rewrite: ""My Heart Takes Over" is more of an emotional song." This needs more detail but that needs to be pulled from other sources
Rewrite: ""Get Ready, Get Set" is an uptempo song." Again this needs more detail that needs to be pulled from other sources
There's a lot of inappropriate wording here. I can't reword the first sentence, but it reads awkward. Reword the rest: "The song has many elements including dubstep and took a long time to get right according to the band."
Reword: ""Last Call" was written by Charlie Holmes and Lucie Silvas--it was described by Sandford as a "heart melt ballad," as it discusses love. The song is their most personal song on the album, according to the band." The part about favourite song is unnecessary. Replace -- with proper em dashes (my keyboard does not have those at this time)
Reword: "Move on U," written by the band themselves, is an uptempo track with "flirtatious" lyrics."
Reword: ""Promise Me" is a party song that discusses men who do not stick to their promises."
Reword: ""I Say Ok" is tongue-in-cheek and the poppiest song on the album according to the band." But even this might be inappropriate phrasing. More detailed information needs to be pulled from secondary sources.

Comment: This section needs more secondary sources, as most of the information about the music on the album is coming from YouTube videos published by the band themselves. You can pull this information from the reviews of the album.

Marketing and promotion

I can't review a good chunk of this section because a majority of the first paragraph has insufficient citations. See the sources section below.

Rephrase: "The band started a competition called "Reveal Your Notorious Side!" for fans. Participants would tell the band about their most "notorious" moments. The winner of the competition would get the chance to meet the band and "win some fantastic prizes.""
Which single? I'm assuming "Notorious"--say that in this sentence.
This can be cut down a ton; also, the source is talking about the promotion of "Notorious" specifically. "The Saturdays promoted On Your Radar and the single "Notorious" on The Graham Norton Show, Lorraine, Daybreak, T4, and Friday Download." It is up to you if you want to include further details--just know that the source cited doesn't.
Rephrase: "The band also confirmed that they would appear at a number of summer festivals, first appearing at theme park Alton Towers [during the Alton Towers Live Concerts?]. They appeared at the BBC Live Lounge, performing a cover of Aloe Blacc's hit single "I Need a Dollar".
Glamour Awards should not be italicized. Rewrite: "They appeared at T4 on the Beach for the third time, as well as Towneley Festival and V Festival. The band won Band of the Year at the Glamour Awards while touring."
"The band would later become ambassadors for Nintendo 3DS game, Nintendogs + Cats, which they promoted through TV advertising."
If this sentence didn't affect touring, production, or writing, then it doesn't belong in this article.

Release

Again a good chunk of this I can't review because additional citations are needed

Rephrase: "On Your Radar was released on 18 November 2011 in Australia and Ireland and on 21 November 2011 in Germany and the United Kingdom."

Singles

This has already been discussed above.
Reword: "The band filmed the music video for "Notorious" in Los Angeles and took inspiration for the video from American TV series Ugly Betty"
Glaring typo, and rephrase: "The song sold more copies than any of the band's previous singles and peaked at number three on the UK Singles Chart."
Rephrase: ""My Heart Takes Over", a ballad, was the third single released from the album which was announced on 28 September 2011."
Rephrase: "A video was shot in Iceland for the single, and first received radio airplay on 29 September 2011."
Rephrase: "Although "The Way You Watch Me" was being lined up as a fourth single, the single was never released."

Tour

Details about the tour belong in the marketing and promotion section, and should be rephrased along with everything in that section. It should summarize the article about the All Fired Up! tour

You should clarify this, and mention the name of the later tour (which is All Fired Up! (tour)). You can utilize sources from that article, and you should use Template:Main article.
Rephrase: "The band revealed the tour dates for December 2011 in June via their website, originally consisting of eleven shows across the UK."
Rephrase: "Ultimately, the tour was expanded to include Belfast and Dublin, increasing the number of shows to thirteen."
This sentence is unnecessary
Remove this sentence or just say that the band had difficulties balancing working on the album and planning the tour.

Reception

This section is one of the best written in the article. The last paragraph should be rephrased:

Track listing

Include total length of the album in the list

Credits

Use en dashes instead of hyphens and lowercase except for proper nouns

Sources

Ref 18 links to the wrong website. Don't delete this reference; instead, just replace the link with the correct one, and make a new reference with the Capital FM link. The first sentence of the artwork and titling section is verified by the Capital FM link, while the second is verified by the entertainment wise link--you need to search for the correct entertainment wise link.

Ref 2 should be cited here (Digital Spy one talking about notorious, in case the order gets messed up)

Saving (officially more than halfway done!) DecrepitlyOnward (talk) 19:17, 2 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Note: I cannot verify the YouTube sources since I don't live in the UK and don't have a VPN at this time--I might need to get someone else involved in this process. Saving DecrepitlyOnward (talk) 20:19, 2 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

This is original research, and if other sources are not found this needs to be changed or removed.
This is also original research, and if other sources are not found this needs to be changed or removed. The sources cited here are not sufficient.

Ref 44 needs an archival link and is bare.

Ref 22 is dead--I cannot verify or review the rest of the first paragraph of "marketing" without an archival link

This article, in general, has an overreliance on primary sources Saving, hopefully for one last time... DecrepitlyOnward (talk) 20:42, 2 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Citation needed tag in singles section--I can't review anything before it, though I do note that it mentions things that have been mentioned in previous sections

Ref 54 (the supanet one) is the wrong citation for the singles section, it might be the same issue with ref 18

Ref 57 is dead

The charts and certifications section needs citations for the Irish and Scottish charts.

Lead

The lead is too short considering the length of the article, and needs to include more details such as composition and reception.

General comments

@PopLizard86427, there are a bit of issues in the first couple of paragraphs I've read so far, so I've decided to ping you in case you want to start fixing the issues now. I don't think the article is quick fail quality, but it needs a bit of work. DecrepitlyOnward (talk) 05:41, 2 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@DecrepitlyOnward, I finished the changes you told me to do, see the history of edits to this article.
@PopLizard86427, be sure to sign your comments here. I finished reviewing the composition section–it needs to have more information about the general genres of the album, which you can find in sources from critical reviews. DecrepitlyOnward (talk) 18:24, 2 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@PopLizard, I'm inclined to fail the review. Even with all of the copyedits prescribed above, it still wouldn't be GA status as the comments about sourcing and lack of detail need to be addressed. I will continue with the review just to provide a baseline for future improvement, and once I'm done, I will fail it; if you go through everything described above, which will probably require a massive rewrite and additional sources, then you can renominate this article. DecrepitlyOnward (talk) 20:45, 2 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

The review is finished and posted above. The article needs substantial improvements to prose and citations in order to become a GAN. For help you should definitely check out MOS:ALBUM. While that page is not an exhaustive list, it would definitely prove helpful for this article. Thank you for nominating this, though--hopefully it won't need too much elbow grease. DecrepitlyOnward (talk) 21:53, 2 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]