Shortcut

Note: For maximum enjoyment, play the music in a new tab and read the text. Reading it slower may make it more epic.


Cast

(in order of appearance)

Script

Scene 0: Introduction

Wikipedia is in grave danger. JIMBO has been repulsed from TAMPA CITY, his forces slaughtered in the vandal pursuit, and his precious Wiki Gear JIM destroyed. DING has taken over Wikipedia, and is vandalizing it to a point not even WILLY ON WHEELS, who has since defected to the Wikipedian side, ever imagined. WHOOP WHOOP PULL UP and THEKILLERPENGUIN still stand by Jimbo's side, but they alone cannot stop the vandal hordes, and they desperately need assistance.

Scene 1: The Flight

Jimbo and Whoop whoop are running through light woods, towards the dark shadows in the deeper woods. Thekillerpenguin follows some distance behind them, firing Parthian shots. Scattered gunfire and the occasional explosion can be heard in the distance.

Brambleberry of RiverClan comes bounding up.

They approach.

They all get in the U-boat. It sets sail.

Scene 2: Deutschewikipedia

Brambleberry is nervously pacing.

The U-boat stops.

They all step onto German land.

The group walks over to a cafe and discuss things over chocolate cake.

Brambleberry suddenly runs to the bathroom and throws up.

Scene 3: The Defector

Willy arrives at the helipad and heads over to the cafe, and gets himself some tea.

Thekillerpenguin brings a tray of delicious toffee for everyone. Willy grabs a piece and leaves to get a taxi.

Bf 109s roar overhead

Scene 4:WP:ANI

Thekillerpenguin and Whoop Whoop pull up are flying in a helicopter over to the long road at the outskirts of WP:ANI. Thekillerpenguin has a long monologue that is heard, but not seen. This is the music.

The helicopter flies over WP:AN and they witness a small battlefield between editors.

The helicopter arrives at WP:ANI, and as soon as it lands, it gets destroyed by nearby tanks.

A bunch of vandals are advancing to different sections of ANI. Whoop Whoop orders and airstrike on all the trolls, vandals, and POV pushers. The Bf109s do a strafing run and none are shot down.

Flash forward several hours. As all the vandals are down, Vandal Gear WOW appears and the cockpit opens up to reveal Evil Jimbo. Music change

Both Whoop and Thekillerpenguin are running around in circles as Vandal Gear attacks.

Thekillerpenguin jumps into the air on top of Vandal Gear and slices the cockpit open, exposing Evil Jimbo. He jumps out and reveals his own Rainbow Rock sword, and the two engage in a epic sword fight before Evil Jimbo's arm is severed.

Thekillerpenguin slices Evil Jimbo in half, and destroys Vandal Gear.

Scene 5: Antarctic Storm

The scene starts with a shot of a dark conference room in the Leopard Seal Mothership, a monstrously large space ship flying in low Earth orbit. The conference room has a table, a few dim lights overhead, delegations sitting at the table, and staff/crew members watching in the background.

Sergeant SpotFin comes in and stands up. The Vandal Delegates, King EyeFrost, and General BigTooth go on talking without noticing the sergeant, even after he clears his throat a few times. Eventually he trouts BigTooth.

Sergeant SpotFin walks out of the room as King EyeFrost fumes about the condition of his country.

A vandal delegate stands up.

The vandal delegate walks out of the room. The camera follows him walking down the hallways of the Mothership, and he eventually finds a dark guest room with a computer in it. As the delegate accesses the computer, the viewer can view some text on the screen. The delegate has received an e-mail. He opens it up, and reads it. The text is clearly visible. It says:

"We have found out the true purpose of the Wikipedian Antarctic Server Room. It's there to not only route Antarctic internet traffic to Wikipedia's server's in Tampa, but it's also a tech lab dedicated to bots, scripts, and highly classified technology. I've hacked into the accounts of some admins for that tech lab, and one log, albeit heavily encrypted and redacted, says they may have found a way to oversight not only a user's contributions, but also their username and purge all logs related to them. It's like you completely remove all traces of an account from the system. In other words, they've found a way to delete accounts. This will affect anything- even that Jimbo Wales that we're all trying to kill and depose. Deleting accounts would hinder some copyright stuff that Wikipedians are concerned about, but who cares? We're vandals. We break the rules.

Something isn't completely right about this. The encryptions of this server are a little bit too unsecure for a highly secret testing lab that even the world can't know about. It's like they kind of want us to find this. Until we invade that lab, stay alert.

-A ding ding ding ding........ slaying contributers, vandalism fighters, and Wikipedians since 2014."

However, a figure rises from the shadows, stepping ever so quietly, with a knife drawn. Just as the vandal delegate is about to reply to the e-mail, he feels a sharp pain in his upper shoulder. As he suddenly looks behind him, he gets shot by a silenced USP pistol. As his body slumps to the floor, the stranger walks over to the computer screen and takes a look at its contents. The camera angles to show the light from the computer screen shining on a face.

It is Whoop Whoop pull up, the editor turned bureaucrat.

Scene 6: Let's Start a Riot

Leopard seals are breaking things with baseball bats and starting fires as this music plays in the background. Brambleberry nervously makes her way through the streets of Spotted City, climbing over hordes of dead bodies.

The rioting leopard seals stop rioting to look at the WikiPuma yelling at herself. They stop and look at her before going back to their previous tasks.

The music stops as the leopard seals think about whether or not it is indeed Brambleberry.

Leopard Seal 1337 gets shot in the head and hanged from a lamp post.

The Leopard Seals do a Zerg-Rush on Brambleberry, who promptly retreats to an abandoned cafe on the other side of the street.

Suddenly, a loud crash is heard outside.

As she peeks outside of the window, a large eggshell has landed out of the sky, with a lone penguin standing in the cracked debris. It is Thekillerpenguin.

The leopard seals surround Thekillerpenguin as Brambleberry watches from her hiding place. A lone leopard seal separates from the group and attempts to impale Thekillerpenguin with a kitchen knife. However, as he stabs Thekillerpenguin, the knife blade breaks instantly.

Thekillerpenguin picks up the aforementioned leopard seal by the neck, and uses his reinforced beak to peck his vital organs out, and punts the corpse 20 meters away. Thekillerpenguin then activates his battle armor. A combat vest emerges from his body. A helmet sprouts out of the back of his head, assembling and putting itself on his forehead. Various cyborg parts, like a spine reinforcement and back armor, spawn on his back. Finally, as assorted armor plates situate themselves on his legs and sides, he draws out a sword hilt from his back storage. With a flick of a button, the hilt sprouts a glowing blue blade of enchanted ice. As a polarized dark blue battle visor finally lowers from his helmet, Thekillerpenguin raises his Ice Sword, and the camera zooms in on his face.

Thekillerpenguin then engages the group in combat.

Suddenly, Brambleberry feels herself transforming. She is standing on her hind legs now, and her body is slightly more humanoid while still retaining its feline shape, if that makes any sense. She is now wearing a green hoodie and boot-cut jeans with purple Converse low-tops. Her front paws are more like hands, but still retain feline paw pads and tufts of fur between the fingers.

The shopkeeper comes out of the open and hands her a yew longbow, a quiver with twenty-four arrows (rowan with osprey fletchings and obsidian heads), a Celtic longsword, and a round, steel shield. The shopkeeper, after he gives her everything, is now shown to be a penguin.

Brambleberry rushes outside to handle the crowd of leopard seals.

Thekillerpenguin is busy slicing the advancing leopard seals as more come from the other streets to meet him. A small number appears in the very lower right hand corner of the screen documenting the number of leopard seals Thekillerpenguin has taken down. Right now, it is at 42.

Suddenly, a large flying cargo plane flies overhead and hovers nearby, with large amounts of artillery loaded inside. The plane's cargo bay opens up, deploying the assorted cannons, missiles, and mortars. The screen focuses on a small icon on the plane's wing.

Thekillerpenguin uses his visor binoculars to take a look at the icon. It is a small flag with birds flying in the air.

Fade to black.

Scene 7: Double sharp's Army

Screen slowly fades in. Double sharp appears walking in the ruins of Tampa City, carrying a bloody sword. His expression is unreadable. All of a sudden, thousands of vandals appear out of a smouldering crater that once was a featured list. He draws his sword and starts pursuit.

Yet another crater blows up and spawns more vandals.

25 Unencyclops unmanned robots jump from the ruined Tampa Tower and land in front of Double Sharp. Their red eyes start glowing, and their weapons systems activate.

Double sharp runs around a corner, then suddenly skids to a stop, a look of utter horror on his face. Sixteen more Unencyclopes are trundling down it towards him. They, too, rise their weapons. Double sharp suddenly grins.

Just as both groups of Unencyclopes fire, Double sharp dodges into an alleyway. Each group's volleys of bullets, rockets, and grenades streak through where Double sharp was and slam into the other group. Both groups of Unencyclopes are destroyed.

Double sharp falls to the ground in despair. Suddenly, the Wikipedian corpses littering the roads rise up. They look at Double sharp. As he looks on in amazement, they salute him.

The undead Wikipedians tear into the vandals. The vandals try to fight back, but the undead Wikipedians keep going even when hit by multiple bullets, until they get hit enough times that they collapse into gory pulp. The vandals are destroyed.

They walk, stumble, and stagger down the street in search of more vandals to kill. Double sharp follows them. As he turns his head past the camera, he sports an evil grin and red eyes for a second. Fade to black.

Scene 8: Seals and Bureaucrats, What's Next?

As Whoop whoop pull up looks at more of the vandals' archives, Sergeant SpotFin hops in.

Sergeant SpotFin starts to hop away when he realizes that Whoop whoop's voice sounds nothing like Vandal Delegate 1's.

Whoop whoop pull up was pulling up a kukri when Sergeant SpotFin said that. Whoop whoop paused and the knife stumbled.

SpotFin leads Whoop whoop to the vents. Whoop whoop looks at them with wide eyes.

Both SpotFin and Whoop Whoop rush quietly to a large door marked "HANGAR". As SpotFin activates the door with a keypad, the interior of the hangar reveals several large fighter jets inside. On the far end of the room, a large hallway marked "AIRLOCK" is seen.

SpotFin slides his ID card into the computer of a fighter jet. It says "PROCESSING..."

The view goes back to the fighter jet screen. It now says, "ACCESS DENIED. UNAUTHORIZED ID."

In a few seconds, fully armed light Leopard Seal units wearing legged suits walk into the hangar with weapons drawn. Whoop Whoop and SpotFin both hide behind two aircraft in the back as the Leopard Seal team starts sweeping the area. More reinforcements arrive shortly, including a Goliath unmanned robot, which is 20 feet tall and resembles an Unencyclops.

Soon, the massively large Goliath activates a railgun and a Tesla Coil on its back. General LockJaw, who was absent from the meeting, arrives with his own special ops unit, with red armor.

Whoop Whoop puts on a woven bandana and prepares her weapon as the huge enemy force gets closer to her hiding spot. She also grabs a nearby pressurized suit, thinking that it might be helpful. SpotFin activates his facemask from his helmet, and the screen fades to black.

Scene 9: We're Fucked!

Brambleberry and Thekillerpenguin are standing back-to-back as the Skua Empire comes for them.

(Note: This is not PG-13 anymore.)

Brambleberry of RiverClan twitches her ears.

Brambleberry of RiverClan nocks an arrow as Thekillerpenguin holds up his sword. Brambleberry looks at a dirigible up ahead with the flag of the Skua Empire. She fires the arrow by accident, which hits the dirigible and causes it to explode.

Several more combat fights are seen. Thekillerpenguin holsters his Ice Sword on his back for now, and takes out a silenced penguin sub machine gun. Brambleberry continues to fight, taking down countless air units. The scene then flashes to a American news report on the ongoing conflict.

Within the news screen, a slideshow of the devastation is shown. Currently, it shows a picture of rioting leopard seals.

The slideshow switches to a satellite photo of the Skua Empire's invasion.

The slideshow now is a photo of Brambleberry and Thekillerpenguin fending off the huge invasion force from the Skua Empire.'

The scene then zooms out a little bit- it is now shown that the news report was shown on a fancy HD TV in Emperor Norton III's house. Emperor Norton paces back and forth the room.

A stranger in a black coat walks down a hallway, and knocks on the door of Norton's chamber.

The stranger walks in, and reveals himself to be no other than the infamous Willy on Wheels.

A tranquilizer dart hits Willy on Wheels in the thigh and he passes out instantly. There is no one behind him, but suddenly a rope tightens around Norton's neck.

The rope is tightened even more and Norton falls over dead.

Fade to black.

Scene 10: Triple sharp

Double sharp and his army are walking along when they come across a dirty hobo warming his hands on a trashcan fire.

The hobo snaps his fingers and several vandals surround Double sharp's army.

The undead Wikipedians open fire. So do the vandals, but while the vandals go down after only one or two bullets, the Wikipedians, being (un)dead, are unaffected by bullets until they take enough hits to literally fall apart. Consequently, the vandals are slaughtered. Double sharp's army then turns their guns on the hobo, but although he takes dozens of hits, he remains unaffected, and each hit makes a CLANG! sound. Suddenly, the hobo's skin is torn off by the hail of bullets, showing that he is in fact a robot.

The Wikipedians continue to fire, but the bullets make only dents in the Cockneybot's armor, and the Cockneybot reveals long, razor-sharp claws. He tears dozens of Wikipedians apart. Suddenly, an undead sniper with a McMillan Tac-50 shoots him in the chest. He staggers and grabs his chest but does not fall, and takes his hand away to reveal a small tear in his armor, with the bullet lodged in the tear. He yanks the bullet out and throws it at a Wikipedian.

The Cockneybot roars and fires an RPG-7 at the sniper, completely obliterating him. Then, another undead Wikipedian walks around a corner with a rifle chambered in .950 JDJ. He fires once, and the Cockneybot's head shatters into fragments of metal and broken circuit boards. The undead Wikipedian is thrown onto his back and his collarbone and shoulder blade shattered by the impact, but due to being undead, he does not notice this. He works the bolt and fires at the staggering Cockneybot's chest. The bullet tears into the Cockneybot, which falls to the ground and does not move. Double sharp walks over to the shattered wreckage blown from the Cockneybot's chest. Suddenly, he exclaims in surprise and picks up a flash drive from the wreckage. It's right next to a USB port wired into what remains of the Cockneybot's chest.

Scene 11: Discovery of the Secret Vandal Base #1

Camera follows Double sharp. Occasionally vandals jump in front of him, which he immediately kills with his sword. Suddenly, he sees a hole in the ground below him.

He enters a brightly lit cavern, surrounded by walls.

The two remaining undead Wikipedians fall down.

He comes up with a brain implant in each of them, marked in shimmering copper-coloured letters DING. He pockets them.

The four walls move around, making an exit to the east.

Suddenly, vandals are heard attacking him. He fights, but is unable to overcome what must be 40 vandals at the least. After killing 30 of them, he gets tired and is captured and brought to an iron cell deep in the vandal fortress. The vandals lock him in and melt down the key before teleporting away. Illumination is provided by a single torch.

Camera zooms upward to the control room just below surface level, where vandals are looking scared.

Double sharp smirks, then blows his nose. He picks up a micro-walkie-talkie out of the mucus, wipes it off, extends an aerial, and whispers into it.

Another army of undead walks around the corner towards the fake Jimbo.

The undead Wikipedians open fire and kill him instantly. They then walk to the location Double sharp specified, and plant 15 kilograms of ONC there. They detonate it, destroying the ones who set it off but also blowing a hole in the roof. Vandals scream as the other undead jump down.

The undead Wikipedians kill everyone else in he room, then shoot out the lock on the door. Vandals 2 thru 4 scream as they are messily killed offscreen.

Double sharp then takes out his special tungsten carbide drill. The iron bars of his cell are no match for it.

The undead Wikipedians run-march to the hole and jump in. Being undead and being equipped with parachutes, they are completely unhurt. They storm the eastern tunnel and, together with Double sharp, raze the vandal fortress to the ground and loot all the electronic equipment.

Finding that he has lost his jetpack in the fight, he grabs 50 to 60 AK-47s (looted from the dead vandals), glues them to a stick, tapes down their triggers with help from the undead Wikipedians, and stands on the stick and flies out into the sky. Camera follows him into a highland elevated almost 600 m from the surrounding land, with sheer cliffs on all sides. The southern (where he is flying over) and northern sides are barren and filled with dangerous vandalbots, but flying high, he escapes detection. The western and eastern sides are not seen on the camera. He grabs the improvised jetpack and jumps into a lake and sneaks into a side passage in it. He then blocks the flow of the water and walks further along the specially constructed tunnel before arriving at a golden gate to his secret anti-vandal fortress. He mutters an inaudible password. The gate opens noiselessly for him and he enters his base, full of electronic vandal-detectors, automated bots, other high-tech stuff, a dark staircase leading to a secret analysis lab, and eight-pointed stars liberally painted everywhere. He goes to the left and down the dark staircase, steps over the twenty-third step, and the blue door opens to the huge lab. He enters. The camera does not follow, but he obviously is analysing the loot. The undead Wikipedians are now followed by the camera; they turn right to a barracks-like area and something resembling a military HQ. Triumphant music plays upon his arrival at his fortress.

Scene 12: Aboard the Mothership

Whoop Whoop and Spotfin are desparately fighting off the leopard seals in the Mothership's hangar. They are almost out of ammunition, and although dozens of soldiers lie dead before them, the Leopard Seals still pour in.

A faint green gas starts coming out of the air vents.

SpotFin presses a blue button near the back of the hangar. Suddenly, the whole entire back wall of the hangar starts moving down. Everyone and everything in the area starts to get sucked into space.

All of the Leopard Seal soldiers fly out into space and explode, since their suits are not pressurized. In addition, the aircraft also get sucked out. Whoop Whoop and SpotFin barely avoid getting sucked into the void of space.

Both Whoop and SpotFin jump into space. They float around for a few minutes, but eventually, they get too close to the Earth and start descending into the atmosphere.

Slowly, they begin to accelerate. Due to the lack of atmosphere at these altitudes, they keep accelerating until they reach truly terrifying speeds.

Seconds pass and their speed once again falls to safer levels. Suddenly, Whoop's suit seems to develop a mind of its own, and a seal abruptly closes over the glass of her helmet.

Green gas appears in her helmet

She and SpotFin open their parachutes. She looks upwards and admires the gas trail from the helmet through its trajectory down into oblivion.

Splashes are seen

Fade to black.

Scene 13: The SeaBus

Whoop whoop and Sergeant SpotFin are in the Atlantic Ocean. Suddenly a submarine appears.

She swims to the submarine and gives it the finger.

The hatch of the submarine opens and Committed, in a diving suit, steps out.

Committed makes a "come" gesture and they enter the submarine. Whoop whoop gets out of her pocket sub.

The scene cuts to the Germans tied to a tree with their bot, the Maschinemensch.

The SeaBus sails into the distance.

Scene 14: All hands on deck!

Cut to the conference room of the leopard seal Mothership.

The delegates each take out a mysterious device from their pockets. They activate them, and they are teleported from the ship in a blinding flash of light.

Their thoughts are interrupted by the lights in the room going out.

The PA system starts up again.

The life support gets shut down with an audible sound. It suddenly becomes very cold, and the air starts to thin. BigTooth and EyeFrost don emergency vacuum suits from a nearby locker as they analyze the situation.

They run through the ship to find the escape pods. The only ones active are the emergency lights. It's eerily quiet as they float through the lifeless hallways.

They both enter the escape pods and activate them. They drop out of the ship and start descending into Earth's atmosphere.

Scene 15: Armageddon

Cut to a darkly lit room. A man is typing on a computer as a supervisor looks on.

Cut to the mothership in space. Large railguns deploy from the bottom of the ship, and they start charging with an ominous blue glow. The camera then switches to a view of Thekillerpenguin and Brambleberry fighting off the Skua Empire and the rioters in the Spotted City.

They retreat to cover and gaze at the sky above. TKP zooms in with his visor binoculars, and sees a faint blue glow in the sky.

A hologram is projected from TKP's visor. It shows a 3D model of a large spaceship. One that looks oddly familiar.

The duo rapidly run away from the area. Brambleberry runs on all fours at full speed, while TKP activates his leg motors. The Skua troops and rioters stand in place, puzzled at the sight of their greatest opponents running away in fear.

They see a rapidly advancing column of light descending from the atmosphere. Half a second later, everyone present hears a massive crack of thunder, and at the end of the second, everything in the area has become ash.

==Scene 16: The Aftermath== This is part of Scene 15 by the way.

Meanwhile in Tampa City two IPs are near the city when they see a column of light to the east.

But then all of the world hears a massive crack of thunder. Meanwhile in the Spotted City the heroes have lost the war and the city is being rebuilt by magic people. Then everything goes back to 2 minutes ago.

Scene 17: Ding has a beer and the Dwarfs take the Irish Wikipedia

Vandal 1 fires a Desert Eagle out the window. Then he turns to the other vandals.

Vandal 1 shoots Vandal 6 with his Desert Eagle.

Cut to a room with the Wikimedia Deutschland logo on a wall.

Cut to the Irish Wikipedia where a battle between dwarves and Irish Wikipedians is about to begin. King Thorin is pumping up his troops before the battle.

Thorin: Kinsmen to me! All of you we will defeat the Irish Wikipedia to take its gold and survive in these dark days for our kind. We will take back our homeland but only after we take the Irish Wikipedia. ALL HAIL KING THORIN!

Dwarfs: ALL HAIL KING THORIN! ALL HAIL THE KING!

Cue the Lord of the Rings music. A Irish soldier is hit by an arrow and killed. Pan over to the grinning dwarf who shot him. The dwarf's grin vanishes as he sees something.

Irish Jimbo walks onto the battlefield, accompanied with his chief advisor Irish Whoop whoop pull up. They approach King Thorin.

Irish Jimbo bows his head.

Irish Jimbo: Your Majesty Thorin, I surrender to you. It is clear that I am not going to win against your army of 1,000 dwarfs. I have only eighty soldiers on my side. Thorin, I declare you the leader of the Irish Wikipedia.

Thorin: I accept that, Jimbo. Do you have any objections, Whoop whoop pull up?

Irish Whoop whoop pull up: No objections. We cannot win. We surrender ownership of the armies and Founder privileges to you.

Thorin and his troops enter the Irish capital city of Dublin in triumph. But then Thorin and his troops are all killed by multiple rocket launcher explosions.

The smoke clears to reveal Irish Jimbo and Irish Whoop whoop pull up shielding their faces with their arms. They slowly lower their arms and realize their new leader is dead.

Irish Jimbo: Now what?

Scene 18: The Great Betrayal

Jimbo and his generals are camping out for the night. It is a huge desert.

Jimbo: King Henrich V, what will happen once we enter Tampa City?

Henrich V: We will kill everyone who opposes us and the Tampa...

Jimbo: You're planning to kill the Tampans. You must be our enemy.

Henrich V nods and smiles.

Henrich V: Well done, Jimbo. We are working for the Vandals. We help them in their goals.


TO BE CONTINUED IN: THE SEVENTH WIKIPEDIA MOVIE (TITLE PENDING)

Main End Credits

Soundtrack

Wikipedia I: The Movie Wikipedia II: The Users Strike Back Wikipedia III: Revenge of Jimbo Wikipedia IV: Attack of the Vandals Wikipedia V: Brambleberry's Journey Wikipedia VI: The Last Editor Rogue Vandal: A Wikipedian Story
Wikipedia: The Musical

Movies in bold are completed; movies in italics are still under construction.

Spinoffs:

None

More