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Kmweber (talk·contribs) - I am a four-year veteran editor, actively involved in articles relating to the Indiana/Illinois/Kentucky Tri-State Area. I have taken several photographs of the area (see the galleries linked from my userpage), many of which grace the relevant articles. I am well-known throughout Wikipedia for my sane, common-sense approach to article deletion, as well as being one of the most influential voices in the recent evolution of the RfA process. I hope to use my adminship to undo User:Obuibo Mbstpo's block, as well as the blocks on all of that user's other accounts. I also would like to re-welcome User:Karmafist to the community, and perhaps protect Jimbo's user page after redirecting it to Sollog. Or Deep Throat.
Oh. And I definitely want to delete the main page, just for lulz. But that's all I need. I don't need anything else. Except to pull an Uncle Ed and delete AfD, too. But that's all I need--unblocking OM and Karmafist, redirect and protect Jimbo's user page, and delete the main page and AfD, and that's all I need. And putting penis pictures on George W. Bush. Redirecting and protecting Jimbo's user page, unblocking OM and Karmafist, penis pictures, and deleting Main Page and AfD, and that's all I need. I don't need one other thing. Except re-creating the GNAA article. And that's it. I don't need anything el--wait! I want to indef block anyone who votes "Oppose" here! But that's all I need. Eliminating my enemies, re-creating GNAA, unblocking OM and Karmafist, redirecting Jimbo's page, penis pictures, and deleting Main Page and AfD, for sure. And that's it. There's nothing else I need. Except rollback...well, okay, I guess I don't need rollback. Kurt Weber (GoColts!) 05:48, 1 April 2008 (UTC)— Kmweber (talk • contribs) has made few or no other edits outside this topic.
Dear candidate, thank you for offering to serve Wikipedia as an administrator. It is recommended that you answer these optional questions to provide guidance for participants:
1. What admin work do you intend to take part in?
A: Mostly, I want to use the banhammer to bludgeon newbies into agreeing with me. They need to learn their place, see. We need to beat them down before they get uppity. Gotta keep the n00b in the ditch where he belongs, totally.
2. What are your best contributions to Wikipedia, and why?
A: I'm quite proud of [1], [2], [3], [4], [5], [6], [7], and [8], which were all major spelling corrections to the previously-morphologically-unsound Michael J. Fox and Joan Rivers articles. Just unintelligible junk, really--just pure crap. Until I heroically swooped in and saved the day. But those damn notorious vandals Adam Bishop and Drop Dead Gorgias, who were at the time both engaging in harassing wikistalking of me, had to go and screw it up again, and they're totally responsible for those articles being in the horrific state they're in today.
3. Have you been in any conflicts over editing in the past or have other users caused you stress? How have you dealt with it and how will you deal with it in the future?
A: Usually, whenever I have a problem with someone I ask my good buddy Daniel Brandt to track him (it's always a him, everyone knows there are no women on the Internet) down and, after a series of escalating threats, I challenge him to a duel. Pistols at fifty paces. Riana is usually my second, although Gmaxwell has had to fill in at times when Riana was drunk or committed...which, actually, I guess is like 97% of the time. So I guess Gmaxwell is effectively my regular second...I need to get that changed in the records. He'll want the fringe benefits, I'm sure. Shit.
Oh, and once I just sicced Anthere on someone. But that was a major lapse in judgment, and I won't ever do it again. Pinky swear. Unless someone just really gets my goat up. Like, for instance, if you vote oppose here. That might piss me off. Just a bit.
I've found thinly-veiled innuendoes and insinuations of autosexuality or pachyderm ancestry also work to amicably resolve a dispute--but only as a last resort, of course.
12.Q: Today whilst walking in my garden, I heard a cuckoo. Since I have never heard one so early in the year, I was wondering if you knew whether this was a record?
A:
13.Q: Today whilst rummaging throuigh some boxes, I found a flat black plastic-like disk with a hole in its centre, two spiralling lines going in from the outside, one per side, and two paper disks in the center of each side. Since I have never seen one of these so late in my life, I was wondering if you knew whether this was a record?
15.Q: What is the weather in London (talk) right now? If you could control the weather there, what would you do? If you lived in London, would that make you a better admin? Explain in detail, including your sources.
Notice from Requests for Adminship
16.
The Tireless Contributor Barnstar
I, Requests for adminship (talk) 15:06, 1 April 2008 (UTC), Hereby award Kmweber the Tireless Contributors Barnstar for his contributions to the Requests for Adminship process.
Please keep discussion constructive and civil. If you are unfamiliar with the nominee, please thoroughly review Special:Contributions/Kmweber before commenting.
Just a few !votes in, and we've already got a semi-invocation of Goodwin's Law. Heh. EVula// talk // ☯ // 06:23, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Hitler is dead[citation needed], he doesn't exist, and can therefore no longer be an admin. Unless someone time travels him back to the present, alive and wholesome, of course. · AndonicOHail! 08:56, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Suppport - definitely need more power hunger per krimpet. Sceptre(talk) 07:12, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Support — I view power-hunger as prima facie evidence of being a suitable admin candidate. --Haemo (talk) 07:20, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Support - his tireless contributions to RfA discussions demonstrate his maturity. Give him the chainsaw. Colonel Warden (talk) 07:22, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Strong Support After revewing the candidate's contribution history I believe I have found strong evidence that giving Kurt sysop tools will be a newly minted User:Pedro/Net Positive 2TMPedro : Chat 07:23, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
You want Power? Have 'em, we don't want 'em. ~ Riana⁂ 07:30, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Support Kurt does a lot more around here than a lot of people, and puts up with ridiculous amounts of crap he doesn't deserve. Jmlk17 08:05, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Keep Good user. Won't abuse the tools. Hans Adler (talk) 10:01, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Support as a banned user, I'd like to say support (so someone can strike my vote). --87.113.3.179 (talk) 11:22, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Support Finally someone who will make some progress on the project. --Charitwotalk 11:26, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Support, obviously. No evidence he will abuse the tools more often than several times daily. No big deal, right? Guy (Help!) 11:44, 1 April 2008 (UTC) Strike vote, see oppose below. Guy (Help!) 11:44, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Support- self-nomination is an obvious sign that someone lives for the wiki. special, random, Merkinsmum 12:10, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Sounds good! We need more abusive admins. Majorly (talk) 12:11, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Support - if Kurt cannot be an admin, the terrorists have won. Has at least one "e" in his user name, thus meeting my criterion. Neıl☎ 12:25, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Strongest Possible support - wow atlast the most perfect candidate, he will most definitely abuse the tool and most probably delete the Main Page more than once in his life and will most definitely get Pwnt!! over and over again and when he isn't being a PITA, he will get nommed for President of the United States and might just win due to his Prima-facie attitude, and will end Global Warming and World Hunger..ahh this is for sysops rights..oops..OK Support..I trust this user to abuse the tools, Give it now...before he becomes a Monk and preaches on World Peace...--Cometstyles 12:28, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Support per Neil. Shirley 12:38, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
I know for a fact that four of the Seven Dwarves (I refuse to say which ones) were canvassed here via e-mail and feel their votes should thus be taken with a grain of salt or possibly a simple "Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho." Also, based on some cursory time-stamp analysis/thoroughgoing Biblical exegesis, it appears that Matthew and Luke are synopticpuppets of Mark. As this seems to be the first evidence of abuse I think a warning would be sufficient.--Bigtimepeace | talk | contribs 13:27, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Maybe it’s just me, but it looks like all of the above users !voting “per Neil” are actually sockpuppets of User:Neil. Also, User:Luke !voted twice. It could be that those are two different Lukes, though. —Travistalk 21:15, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Weak support for coherence. The inexplicable nagging suspicion that it's a joke throws me off a little. Dorftrottel (harass) 12:49, April 1, 2008
Weak Support. Clearly needs the tools, my only real criterion. Also, per Pepsi and (especially) Shirley, above. The fact that he did not feel compelled to oppose my first, self-nom'd RfA stung a little (hence the weak support), but not enough to force me to go neutral or anything drastic like that. --barneca (talk) 13:01, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Support, per all the Neils. It is April 1 after all and this is great! I would btw support Kurt as an admin if it werent't! Deacon of Pndapetzim (Talk) 13:06, 1 April 2008 (UTC) This vote is invalid because the user is a sockpuppet of Eunuch, Eunuch 06 and Eunuch 1. See [9] for evidence (third paragraph). --Hans Adler (talk) 13:31, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
I am their representative, and speak for them all as a collective. So count my vote as many! Deacon of Pndapetzim (Talk) 16:15, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Strong support only because you suckered me... Balloonman (talk) 13:13, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Strong support per desire to delete AfD and unblock Obuibo Mbstpo. After all..."All things must be examined, debated, investigated without exception and without regard for anyone's feelings." - Denis Diderot explaining the goal of the Encyclopedia Best, --Le Grand Roi des CitrouillesTally-ho! 13:20, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Support, but do try to be a little more subtle next year. — CharlotteWebb 13:32, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Should support because it says on the talk page "number of RfA's opposed: all". That shows commitment to the project. 68.237.239.228 (talk) 14:20, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
The nomination we've all been waiting for! Acalamari 15:27, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Support — I view a sense of humour as prima facie evidence of being human. Since WP:RFA is WP:NOBIGDEAL, there's more than enough here to support. Jimbo Wales
Support — I view an April Fool's Day self-nom as prima facie evidence of taking the piss. EJF (talk) 16:19, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Support, due to excellent answer to Q1 and self nom.--Fabrictramp (talk) 16:32, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Support Changed to support. per Jimbo. (lol) Thingg⊕⊗ 17:24, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Support I get to vote today to make a point. What the point is, I forgot, or maybe I never knew in the first place, but, never mind. Please refer to my complete essay on this topic, which is incorporated by reference.--Abd (talk) 19:30, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Opport very strong weakly. Mazca (talk) 21:41, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Support I am supporting because you promised to unblock me. Willy on Wheels 23:48, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
SuperSupport. I support the libertarian as new Wikipe-God. :-DDD
I view self nominations as the...well, you get it. John Reaves 06:10, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
What? Meh. I hope the crats assign an appropriate weight to this !vote! SQLQuery me! 06:39, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
ZOMG, you're harassing the opposers! Someone indef block SQL, quick! Nousernamesleftcopper, not wood 21:55, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Oppose — I view self-noms as prima facie evidence of power hunger.™ —Darktalk 06:11, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Note to crats: this editor appears to be commiting plagiarism. I propose hitting this user with the banhammer, or at least throwing the banwrench at him and watching him jump. --JayHenry (talk) 06:44, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
teh infamous unblockhammer will get me out of trouble —Darktalk 07:25, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Also, per not being Jimbo, and for not having 100,000,000 edits. —Darktalk 06:15, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Oppose Lack of contributions in the MediaWiki: namespace. SnowolfHow can I help? 06:12, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Oppose - I don't care about self noms. However, your introduction/answers to questions are frivolous and altogether absurd. You also lack experience in article building, and your project space contributions do not impress me. Wisdom89(T / C) 06:14, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????John Reaves 06:17, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Do you have an actual question or comment? Wisdom89(T / C) 06:22, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Strong oppose. I was going to say the above, but it's already been said on previous occasions. This editors constant posting of I view self noms as prima facie evidence of power hunger, is a blatant unwillingness to assume good faith, and has opposed many RFAs, in this fashion, without any further discussion or comments. I cannot support any admin hopeful displaying behaviour such as the candidate. Ad additionally, them self-nomming themself goes against everything they stand for. If self-nomming is evidence of power hunger, then what exactly is this nomination about? I am more than willing to further comment regarding my oppose, if it is required. Steve Crossin(talk to me) 06:15, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
And also per his answers to Question one. Very amusing joke. Lulz.Steve Crossin(talk to me) 06:18, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Oppose Not a member of the cabal, also has created no featured portals, which is clearly a necessary criterion of adminship. Orderinchaos 06:18, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Oppose Not enough posts on the mailing list. Also fails my basic requirement of at least 25 FAs and 7 years of experience. EconomicsGuy (talk) 06:31, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Oppose because I have a headache today. --Calton | Talk 06:35, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Oppose per my longstanding policy of opposing the RfA's of editors who don't know what the goddamn Tri-State Area is. Indiana/Illinois/Kentucky? My eye! Everyone knows it's New Jersey/New York/Connecticut. Except not Connecticut - to hell with that place (not that that would be a big change from where it is now...zing!). If nom (or his surrogates) tells three Indiana jokes in the next 24 hours I will reconsider my !vote since everything else looks spot on.--Bigtimepeace | talk | contribs 06:38, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
I thought it was Alaska, Hawaii, and Iraq^H^H^H^H American Samoa. — CharlotteWebb 14:17, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Oppose No evidence that the user is endorsed by a WikiProject. Mr.Z-man 06:39, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Oppose. Wow, this RFA is amazingly fun to read. The self-nom is so ironic. What a great thing to do on April Fool's Day. Answers to questions are hilarious. Useight (talk) 06:48, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Oppose. Way too deletionist if he wants to delete the Main Page. Sjakkalle(Check!) 07:05, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
I view self-noms as prima-facie evidence of power hunger. ;D OK, seriously. I personally would not oppose a candidate just for a personal belief, but seeing as how this is a self-nom, and especially given certain cases of incivility, I am going to have to oppose this nom. Valtoras (talk) 08:22, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Oh, it's an April Fools joke! I shoulda known! XD Actually, about the Karmafist being welcomed back thing, I am actually not immensely opposed to that, so long as he promises not to do what got him banned in the first place again. Valtoras (talk) 08:31, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Macaroni & Cheese This user is not disruptive enough of the RfA process to warrant a rouge promotion. He also is in serious need of variety in his blanket nonsensical opposes. Thanks for playing. GlassCobra 08:35, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Oppose - I respect DMHO's essay greatly. But the hypocrisy so evident here made me laugh hard, and so I oppose with unending strength. -- Anonymous DissidentTalk 09:24, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Oppose the fact that this user is even considering adminship at all indicates the decadence and degradation of WIkipedia today. They have a mere 2 portal talk edits, no help talk edits and - this is the shocking part - no Mediawiki space edits at all. Hut 8.5 09:37, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Oppose Severe lack of article building. Only 1739 main space edits [10]. Sorry, I have to oppose in this case. Otolemur crassicaudatus (talk) 10:15, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Kill The lack of pages moves makes me believe this user is not ready for main page deletion. -- lucasbfrtalk 11:05, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Oppose. I just noticed he mentioned Michael J Fox. We just don't need that kind of language. Think of the children! Guy (Help!) 11:45, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Oppose - the answers given to questions appear to be nothing but a joke; directly stating he would abuse the power and vandalize Wikipedia. KV(Talk) 12:23, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
No, this is just a viscious personal attack. Where's my banhammer at? WilyD 15:47, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Support per KV. BTW, is this the right section? SynergeticMaggot (talk) 12:44, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Oppose: I see no evidence of repeated threats to take legal action against wikipedia or any of its editors, either on this site or elsewhere. Consequently, this editor cannot have a broad enough experience of all aspects of wikipedia use or administration from all viewpoints. If they would care to make a few threats in the forthcoming months, I would be happy to support a resubmitted nomination once the resulting bans are overturned. DDStretch (talk) 12:47, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Oppose: No endorsements from WikiProjects. 78.86.18.55 (talk) 13:41, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Oppose: Candidate has no intention to recreate the Last Measure article. aliasd·U·T 13:42, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Oppose Candidate can't even decide whether the best target to redirect Jimbo Wales is Sollog or Deep Throat. We need admins with more confidence in their own judgment. Pascal.Treason (talk) 13:53, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Oppose Candidate’s signature pushes a non-neutral POV (which happens to be in conflict with my POV). Also, I was disappointed to see that he didn’t have any edits to BJAODN. Besides, he had the nerve to not give me a support !vote in my RfA. —Travistalk 14:31, 1 April 2008 (UTC) [neutrality is disputed]
Oppose - He didn't give me crack. He owes me crack. He likes crack more than I do. Crack makes him oppose. Get crack off of Kurt's street and maybe he'll be more logical... and nice. He likes crack a lot. I need crack. Hmm... Give Kurt a mop made out of crack. Scarian is a crack whoreWill give barnstars for crack 14:43, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Oppose, I view self-noms prime facie as evidence of power hunger. Also I don't trust users with blue signatures. Though I may reconsider since the Colts are decent. Wizardman 15:17, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
87. The Colts? Seriously? Come on now... More Mediawiki edits needed. — Scientizzle 15:23, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Oppose I view self-noms as prima facie evidence of wanting to be Dr. Evil - TheProf - T / C 15:25, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Oppose, 9999 Portal talk edits simply don't meet my standards. If there were 10,000, I might consider... Also, only 5 google hits. --Tone 16:10, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Oppose Not enough template-space editsvandalism. — Edokter • Talk • 19:40, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Oppose. I view the existance of a request for adminship as prima facie evidence of power hunger. --Carnildo (talk) 20:02, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Oppose – User submitted this RfA at a time when I could not (or forgot to) respond. Everyone's opinion deserves to be heard. —Animum (talk) 03:34, 31 July 2008 (UTC)
#Keep. I couldn't agree more. SynergeticMaggot (talk) 12:41, 1 April 2008 (UTC)This user voted twice. See here for more information. SynergeticMaggot (talk) 12:53, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
The neutrality of this section is explicitly not even vaguely disputed. That's the point of a neutral section. Please don't bother looking at the discussion on the talk page.
Was eager to support after reading nom statement and responses to questions, but lack of MediaWiki namespace edits gives me pause. – Luna Santin (talk) 06:25, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Pending answers to Q4 and Q5. -- Cobi(t|c|b) 07:00, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Undecided – I am so confused today - do I support for a great contributions or Oppose because of self nomination or support because of great answers or oppose because people I respect Oppose or support because of humor or oppose because does not take project serious or support because longevity or oppose because of just because. Please help me to decide! :-)…. ShoesssSTalk 09:51, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
When in doubt, delete is always the right answer. SnowolfHow can I help? 10:28, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Strong oppose or something or nothing -- No but, yeah but, no but yeah but, if ya gonna bitch around then your way gonna get beatings right, cause I never not even done nothing or nothing because let me tell you the whole thing right, because Michelle Bingham, who’s a complete bitch anyway has been completely going around saying that I went into Shelley Thackerell’s bag, and nicked a bottle of Cinzano, but I never, but I did, but only cause you’re not actually supposed to have alcohol on school grounds, actually and I was gonna give it to Miss Turvey, but I forgot and drank it, and I only got found out cause I was getting off with Asif Shar behind the language lab and I was sick in his mouth. But if youve been talking to Aaron Peal then dont listen to him 'coz Aaron Peal is like a total batty boy, and he ain’t got no pubes, and he’s well out of order cause he’s been completely going around saying that I like smoke and drank when I was pregnant, but all I did was smoke like two packets of fags a day, drink like fifty pints of Snakebite, but apart from that I never done nothing, so you can well shut up you total minger! User:Vicky_Pollard
Given the obvious prediliction towards vandalism ([11], [12], [13], [14], [15], [16], [17], and [18]), I have blocked this account and deleted all the editor's userpages. — Scientizzle 15:48, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
The April Fools icon at top right is too small. Anyone know how to change it? Where is it coming from anyway? What needs editing? Carcharoth (talk) 16:08, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
<sob> No-one will see my joke! (the funny bit was at the bottom, for those who weren't fooled). Anyway, how can it be contested? Didn't anyone see the edict by Jimbo? We have all been made bureaucrats for the day!! I'm going to petulently close this request again and protect the page! :-) (BTW, the real trick is to start off serious, like Kurt did, and only later go all silly). Carcharoth (talk) 16:36, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Move to User:Kmweber ON WHEELS!!! Liam ar Rothaí 20:54, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
Move to Wikipedia:Requests for adminship/Kmweber 2 ON WHEELS!!! Antonio Lopez(talk) 21:21, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
The above adminship discussion is preserved as an archive of the discussion. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as the talk page of either this nomination or the nominated user). No further edits should be made to this page.
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.